Jake Hopkins @thebigfastjake

When I first got into cars, I was young and broke. After years of hard work, I am no longer young.

If you see me stop mid-sentence and stare at nothing, just know I heard a loud exhaust in the distance. I’m fine.

Get your kids addicted to horsepower. They won’t have any time or money left over for drugs.

Dudes will shower with $3 body wash from Dollar General but spend $1,000 on detailing supplies because God forbid the truck is dirty. It’s me. I’m dudes.

Dave Ramsey has never owned anything with 1,000hp and it shows. Saving money is sweet, but have you ever done a 4th gear burnout in front of your friends?

I’m not anti-EV, I’m just pro “leave me alone and let me drive what I like” 💨

Dudes will redline every gear to outrun a total stranger who took off from the stoplight too fast. It’s me. I’m dudes.

I’ve officially decided to join the war on fossil fuels. On the side of fossil fuels 🦖

If you steal my car because I left it running with the a/c on, you can have it. It’s freakin’ hot outside and I have full coverage.

My financial advisor told me I’m set for retirement, as long as I retire today and die tomorrow.

My biggest flex is driving like I can afford a new engine at any time. My brother in Christ, I assure you I cannot.

Hear me out. Create a $500 “Performance Tax” when registering vehicles with missing emissions parts. The government gets their money, and we can do what we want. Problem solved.

Building a truck to impress a woman is like grilling steak to impress a vegetarian.

OEMs spend a billion dollars designing a truck just for some redneck like me to slap an S400 and a spicy tune on it like “LOL WATCH THIS”

Dudes will complain about new truck prices then sink $30k into a truck with the KBB value of a ham sandwich. It’s me. I’m dudes.

Idk who needs to hear this, but spending $30,000 on mods does NOT make your $20,000 truck worth $50,000 😬

Owning a highly modified vehicle means LOVING it one minute, and wanting to light it on fire the next.

Idk who needs to hear this, but a 2nd Gen Swap does NOT mean putting a 12-valve in your 4th Gen 🚫

If white Monsters and exhaust fumes kill me one day, just know I died jittery and happy 💨

Every badass build was once a daily driver that someone lied to themselves about leaving stock.