The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

Light-hearted takes on Christian bubble culture, politics, and life in general thegoodgopher.com Joined October 2019

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“My doc said my rotator cuff couldn’t handle the continual overextension into the lives of my subjects…um…citizens.”

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“My research findings reveal my wisdom. Your research findings reveal your repugnant ignorance.”

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Generic Christian music at full volume with the windows down. Effective evangelistic outreach is that simple!”

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Due to the genetic makeup of my parents, I was born with this pigmentation, but I can assure you that I don’t ascribe to the belief that white people are superior to other races,” expressed the delusional racist.

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Despite innumerable passages clearly ascribing value to the life of the unborn, I’m confident the original Hebrew and Greek are being misinterpreted.”

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

"Was that scream along with the sneeze really necessary? I mean, it’s so loud. It’s too loud."

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

"I know God will forgive me, and it’ll make a great redemption story once I eventually reconcile with my husband and children."

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Now when I yell ‘F*** the capitalist pigs!’, everyone just nods, smiles, and gives me a thumbs up. It’s disturbing that my views aren’t offensive, and it’s not good for my brand.”

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

"It only took a $5 purchase to be the most honorable person in my neighborhood."

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Mmhmm…yeah, the metaphysics and the ethics…mmhmm…well, yeah, you gotta use the deductive arguments…mmhmm…”

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Drinking poison seems like a very caring option for my state’s residents, but we’re still brainstorming,” disclosed the forward-thinking politician.

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“Yeah, I didn’t know him very well to be honest. He had a fancy sports car, and I think he took a lot of trips to remote islands or something,” noted his closest acquaintance upon learning of his death.

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“We long for a world without bigotry—a world of equal opportunity where women’s sports leagues are transgender women’s sports leagues. Where a man currently identifying as a woman can make women extremely uncomfortable in any bathroom or locker room they please."

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The Good Gopher @thegoodgopher

4 years ago

“C’mon, man. You’re not blessed to be an American, and claiming you are will not be tolerated. Proudly flying your flag will be allowed, however, if the red and white stripes are rainbow-colored.”