𝚃𝚒𝚖 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚗 @timolsky
Don’t laugh at me, laugh at @ceefaux. I'm a terrible man/writer. Love: wife, daughter, cats, dog, & Oxford commas. Hate: brassica. All views own. GSOH preferred twitter.com/ceefaux Cheshire Joined May 2009-
Tweets8K
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Followers388
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Following208
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Likes8K
𝚃𝚒𝚖 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚗 retweeted
@ceefaux ...but they end up trying to buy Grabthar's hammer instead.
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Channel 5 Saturday daytime consists of family friendly ‘dogs that need training’ and ‘life on the farm with cute animals’ with promos each ad break for things like ‘The Sex Dungeon Scandal’ , ‘Bum surgery gone wrong’ and ‘The man who killed the women & children’ documentaries.
𝚃𝚒𝚖 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚗 retweeted
Pay attention! We’re giving away: 1x META QUEST 3 with Taskmaster VR game! 1x Taskmaster VR game! Complete this task by 3/5 2pm GMT: Like & share this post 🫶 Tag a friend 👭 Wishlist on Meta: tmvr.link/WinQuest-mt Or Steam: tmvr.link/WinQuest-st T&Cs in the comments.
This is like Andrex giving away a free curry with every pack.
#CoventryCity haven’t given up but the itv caption team clearly have #facup
𝚃𝚒𝚖 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚗 retweeted
@ceefaux And no repeating the words (as FA changed the rules).
BBC headlines written by Jim Carrey as The Mask
Listen to @MrPLitchfield & @ItsJohnRain on The Running Man @SMERSHPOD and then watch Peter Ustinov on a chat show, it’s uncanny.
Listen to @MrPLitchfield & @ItsJohnRain on The Running Man @SMERSHPOD and then watch Peter Ustinov on a chat show, it’s uncanny. https://t.co/8HWApf9XQE
Perfect. No notes.
Perfect. No notes. https://t.co/pV8bTfXhGX
People put all the ingredients on really high shelves.
Fact: after being let go by Teletext, Bamber Boozle became @mrmikewozniak
Fact: after being let go by Teletext, Bamber Boozle became @mrmikewozniak
Dear God, won't someone think of ITV2?
Dear God, won't someone think of ITV2?
 SATs practice with daughter and trying hard not to laugh
John Rain 🥇 @ItsJohnRain
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Edward Llewelyn Welsh.. @edwardllewelyn
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Faye Talbott ♿️�.. @Faybe1989
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Kimberly Young @KimberlyYo9313
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Hidden Britain Sign C.. @BritainCo
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Chris Gomm @Gommster
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Gary Richards @Garick1805
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Paul Williams @kg2516875
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Moley𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕄.. @MoleyMole01
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Byte High No Limit @TeletextR
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John Galbraith @JohnGalbraith2
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Tim @Tim46108067
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Mike Cox @Coxm65
23 Followers 436 Following I'm not special, I rarely think too hard and I can have fun without prompting thanks
Brian O'Donnell @bod1966
554 Followers 2K Following Managing Director of All Jigsaw Puzzles. Tweets are in a personal capacity. Retweets are not an endorsement.
Gamemaker_uk @Gamemaker_uk
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John Rain 🥇 @ItsJohnRain
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Smersh Pod @SMERSHPOD
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𝘾𝙀𝙀𝙁𝘼�.. @ceefaux
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Ben Thomas @Summers2theB
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Dan Thomas @ItsDanThomas
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katie @pipterino
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Tom Neenan @TNeenan
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Fantastic Mr Ox 🐂 @FantasticMrOx
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Joel Morris @gralefrit
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Tara: Gravel Voiced S.. @TheBluestStar
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Martin @_SmartUK
1K Followers 811 Following Allegedly functional since roughly halfway between episodes 8 & 9 of series 3 of Round The Horne. First BBC Radio 4Extra “Celebrity Soup of the Day” winner.
Armando Iannucci @Aiannucci
696K Followers 1K Following Words and Smiles. Also, Patron of Child Poverty Action Group, @CPAGUK.
Dean Burnett (@Garwbo.. @garwboy
44K Followers 3K Following Neuroscientist writer/humourist. Author of 'The Idiot Brain' and 'Emotional Ignorance' (published 12-01-23) https://t.co/T16cUfHN1d
Tom Crowley @atomcrowley
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Damo @dcb72
979 Followers 694 Following Contents do not match description. most of the stuff i post on here is a joke. apologies for my sense of humour
Barrie Tomlinson @BarrieEditor1
7K Followers 2K Following Comics editor. Tiger, Roy of the Rovers and all that. Writer of Scorer for 22 years. Author of 'Real Roy of the Rovers Stuff' & 'Comic Book Hero'. On sale now!
Fiona Davies @fiona_davies10
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UKADS @ukads3
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Guy Henderson @GuyAHenderson
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The Dream Factory @DreamFactoryPod
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seanhannam @seanhannam
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Brian Butterfield @MrBButterfield
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TwoCookiesAndACoke @cookiesandacoke
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FAB FOOLS @FabFools
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Gillian McShane @GillianMcShane
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Byte High No Limit @TeletextR
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MARK O'CONNELL - Writ.. @Mark0Connell
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181 Followers 77 Following Chief Inspector Specialist Ops, SWP. Views are my own
Jonathan Roberts @jonrob5000
616 Followers 3K Following Am/was/is illustrator, designer, editor, movie/TV reviewer in Singapore https://t.co/7XM4ocNVe0
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Cameron Crow @lordcroquer
93 Followers 367 Following Yorkshire man. Implications deserved. Dinners https://t.co/gooFmYuu9w
Nick Burdon @the_real_nick_b
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Dubstar @dubstarUK
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David Quantick @quantick
65K Followers 3K Following WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE AUSTEN? (French & Saunders, Radio 4). MISSY (Big Finish, 2024). RICKY'S HAND (Titan). BOOK OF LOVE (NOW Films). Emmy (VEEP).
Karen O'Neill @Dakacheltiri
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Neil Yelland @neilyelland92
369 Followers 2K Following Looking at obscure sports teams on Wikipedia for 8 years
Will C @wgjcrook
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Lady Jane @LadyJan16898186
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Andrew F @TheAndrewF
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Richard Wells @rich_wells
80 Followers 487 Following
Calum MacPherson @calmacp
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ODEON Help @ODEONHelp
17K Followers 1K Following Have a question or need a little help? Advisers are available Monday-Sunday 10am -5pm. Visit our official Twitter feed @ODEONcinemas for the latest film tweets
ODEON @ODEONCinemas
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Richard Brown @doctorrickbrown
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TheDreadedD @TheDreadedD1
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Bungo Jerry @nonpunkmatt
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If only Boromir had known you could survive that many arrows.
Anya Taylor-Joy at the FURIOSA premiere in Sydney, Australia.
One of my favourite all time covers, Doomlord terrorising three heavyweights of British comics, @BarrieEditor1, Doug Church and Kelvin Gosnell. #doomlord #eaglecomic
@hxll_mxtt So I should be able to get to bed by about 1.30am? Brilliant!
It sounds facile but Auster was the first “grown-up” author I read, the first I discovered on my own just by picking The New York Trilogy off the library shelf. I was entranced by his imagination, his flights of thought, his flawed heroes, the unexpected paths of plot. RIP.
I love how, in trying to launch an impassioned defence of his career, Mark Lawrenson instead offers up a string of meaningless cliches. He’s playing the part of Lawro to perfection with this drivel. I can only assume he’s like Stewart Lee playing the character of “Stewart Lee.”
🎙️ Mark Lawrenson on the BBC: “Well I’m 65 and a white male, so I was let go. Has it gone woke? It is top of the woke league. They are frightened to death, absolutely and totally frightened to death. You have seen the stuff with Gary Lineker and obviously people at the head of…
I would now since I've seen this clip posted 5000 times
Be honest, would you have got this right??
"Hands up who likes me!'
Be Honest! The name 𝕏 is far better than Twitter. Yes or No?
I had so many posters and pages from the edition on my wall. All felt so exciting.
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@ceefaux ...but they end up trying to buy Grabthar's hammer instead.
Elton's John.
I’m not saying the bar I’m in’s pretentious, but there’s a fucking piano in the gents.
@timolsky What time is "Bum Surgery Gone Wrong" on? Just out of curiosity.
@timolsky @ItsJohnRain It’s Deputy Dawg. It’s always Deputy Dawg.
@timolsky @quantick @robertrea @VivGroskop Surely an asylum would be better. Wee Jimmie could squeeze out through the holes in the chicken wire of a coop.
@pipterino @MontyDomme32 @timolsky Wogan, not Wigan you dim-witted AI prick.
@timolsky No, that was a Crown Pleasing Car Crash.
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