Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

Quod sum eris. Joined January 2009

Tweets

12K
Followers

233
Following

394
Likes

3K

Oliver Alexander @OAlexanderDK

3 years ago

A safe bet

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Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

3 years ago

All of my Pats jerseys are now for traded or retired players... 😭

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natalayhehoo @highprobably1

3 years ago

Being single in your 40s is wild. I’m impressed by a full head of hair.

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Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

3 years ago

Are dogs the only species which have a weird "indicator of fun" organ?

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Brian Gaar @briangaar

3 years ago

People who open their presents on Christmas Eve should be in jail

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Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

3 years ago

The fucking penalties... #BUFvsNE

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Arianna Huffington @ariannahuff

3 years ago

So, to sum up the Supreme Court’s week: life begins at conception and ends in a mass shooting.

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Matteo fingered me @PrinceCoochie

3 years ago

Brought my gun to the yugioh tournament in case I have a dispute

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Forced birth in a country with: —No universal healthcare —No universal childcare —No paid family & medical leave —One of the highest rates of maternal mortality among rich nations This isn't about "life." It's about control.

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD BOFA Economics @BuckyIsotope

7 years ago

Cut my charts into pieces This is my last report Excel spreadsheets All completed Don’t give a damn If my files are deleted

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Christopher Miller @ChristopherJM

4 years ago

Zelensky: ‘We successfully fought off enemy attacks. We are defending our country, our land, future of our children. Kyiv & key places near the capital are under our control. The occupiers wanted to capture our capital and install their puppets like Donetsk. We broke their idea.’

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doug 鞠一道 @douglaschu_

4 years ago

russian soldiers trying to match on tinder with women from the country they’re invading and then getting catfished for intel is such a weird “we live in the future” moment

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Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

4 years ago

Why is the Olympics website still so garbage even after NBC fucked over coverage of the last Olympics?

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Eric Swalwell @ericswalwell

4 years ago

You… wanted to have a drink… with an M&M? #DeeperIssues

Acyn @Acyn

4 years ago

You… wanted to have a drink… with an M&M? #DeeperIssues

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Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

4 years ago

Cobra Kai IV was fun, but should have been called "Daddy Issues IV"

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Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain

4 years ago

Okay, time for the annual reminder: if Santa is bringing a games console, or a new game, it might be worth plugging it in early to get all the updating/downloading done in advance, and it’s ready to play on the 25th.

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Paul Jankura @Anthropic

4 years ago

They just upgraded the software on a computer 7.4 billion kilometers from Earth.

Alan Stern @AlanStern

4 years ago

They just upgraded the software on a computer 7.4 billion kilometers from Earth.

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Will Sennett @Senn_Spud

4 years ago

You dont need to drink a gallon of water a day. Thats too much. Pee should be dark yellow. Thats the defense mechanism we developed to distinguish pee from normal water so we wouldnt drink it. You might be saying “but it smells different” Ok pee smeller. Piss smelling freak

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Timo (feat Ludacris) @timomcd

4 years ago

I wish I could like this a million times.

Kelly Vaughn @kvlly

4 years ago

I wish I could like this a million times.

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Kelly Vaughn @kvlly

4 years ago

It’s always entirely clear when somebody wants something from you and instead of flat out asking, they initiate with small talk that they really don’t care about but are trying to be polite. Please just get to the point. Being polite is being efficient with someone’s time.