Tanner Schwengler @unitybomb
Weed, longboards, cats, cars Estevan, Saskatchewan Joined September 2017-
Tweets70
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Followers12
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Following251
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Likes60
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
The only thing that makes being human tolerable is going into a dark room, curling up into fetal position, and being unconscious for 8 hours a day.
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Tanner Schwengler retweeted
Bones healing stronger after they break is like when your mom does a double knot when trying your shoes. Your body is like “there. Because you’re a clumsy f**k.”
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
My Mom always says “homemade gifts are the best.” Hope she enjoys the meth.
I entered a church and didn't burst into flames so I guess you could say I'm making progress.
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
The incredibles is the best superhero movie Disney has ever made don't @ me
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
i always look sleep deprived is that hot
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
The fact that socks work on both feet is underrated.
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
I wish the billboard of me with the giant penis on my forehead was graffiti.
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
When you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment. But, when you transport something by ship, it’s call cargo.
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
After eight years, how come the zombies don't, like, biodegrade?
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
Best. Birthday. Ever. Best. Wife. Ever. Surprise Pee Wee Breakfast!!
I basically just run off of pettiness and coffee. #IsThisWhatYour20sAreLike
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
When I try to picture the volume of a gallon in my head, it’s in the shape of a milk jug, including the handle.
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
There are 7 billion different versions of today.
I don't own Apple products because I have self-respect. #SorryNotSorry
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
How does the the human brain ignore the second “the”
Tanner Schwengler retweeted
I mean, if the relationship can't survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?
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