unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

The thing I look most forward to right now is the two dr peppers I have before bed. Any alcohol I have with or before them are just facilitators to my happiness

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

4 months ago

I’m not crashing out. I’m just buying my ex drinks to tell them about my fresher exes. He left his bag in my car so now I get to drive 2 hours on my day off to drop it off.

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

4 months ago

“I’m not lovable and I’m scared to do anything about it” -our flag means death

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

5 months ago

My asshole is as general as a golden retrievers mouth

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

5 months ago

I’m surrounded by people who are jealous of coworkers who prioritize their mental health and well being.

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

6 months ago

An investor (in his mid 60s) at work tonight referred to me as “that bitch” tonight.

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

6 months ago

I shaved my beard into a mustache and sideburns like Robert Shaw in Jaws! So now the alcoholism is only the second coolest thing we share!

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

6 months ago

“Are you having a breakdown!?” NO I just breathe like that sometimes…

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

7 months ago

It’s had having no one to tell something so very important. Today it didn’t kill me

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

9 months ago

I was offered ketamine tonight and said “no thanks, I’m doing dry January”

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

9 months ago

Anyone attracted to feet like this? I wish I could play with someone with these feet 🤤

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unneededpitchers @unneededpitcher

10 months ago

“That guest called you a server instead of a manager when I went back to the table” That’s alright I called her a cunt the second I made it back to the kitchen!