mike updegraff @updegraff_mike
kenosha Joined June 2013-
Tweets766
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Followers78
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Following94
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Likes1K
Paying for shipping has to be the biggest deterrent for buying things.
I used to drink tons of Diet Coke but it’s been one month since I’ve had a drop. I want to share some of the changes I’ve observed in myself over that time: - My health is unchanged - I’m less happy - My one source of joy is gone Thanks for encouraging me on this journey!
I go to the grocery store so little that I forget there is no tax on food
Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in
“I got my Never-Eat-Soggy-Waffles mixed up” @updegraff_mike
Stop being mean to me or I swear to god I’m going to fall in love with you
This inflation shits gone to far.. like 4 Doritos came in that bag 😤
I feel like I’m Gucci Mane in 2006
Every time I walk down a hill I be feeling like Vince McMahon 😂😂😂
I just rubbed my eye so hard I lost my hearing for a good 11 seconds
“If @EncantoMovie did a sequel, I think it would be cool to see the parents growing up. Like how Bruno, Julieta, and Pepa got their gifts and how Julieta and Pepa met Agustín and Felix. It would be sad to see Bruno growing up though.” @updegraff_mike please @Lin_Manuel
Not to flex but I had lunch at chili’s and my waitress said I smelled good.. top tier compliment 👑
Me: leaving the bar with chicken strips Matt: enjoy your salty chicken you bastard
Working early the day after thanksgiving should be illegal
Six people at the gym told me I was lookin leaner today 👀 #getsickmoreoften
I went to the doc today and was 50 pounds lighter than In January 👀
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