WorkaholicFairy @washerthoughts

I have a coworker that you can tell how far away he is by the strength of his cologne…even 20 feet away thru a closed door

I’ve been promoted! I’m now officially a cook! About damn time I get paid for the work I’ve already been doing for a year!

When ur boss finds out that ur trans coworker has a bf and she is very confused. Me: “I think u just exploded her cishet brain!” Another coworker: “cishet?” Me: *explains what it is* Coworker: “i swear the gays have their own language!”

Me: Why am i so tired yet have so much energy and feel so wacky? My brain: probably because the smell you smelled this morning coming into work is something you associated with camp! Me: OOH 😯

Nothing like the fire alarm going off 15min after you get to work!

One of my residents has an animatronic dog and he named it after his dog that passed away a few years ago! 🥺

Never watch a video that you know you laugh at every time and try not to laugh....you may snot rocket into your mask

Why am I lowkey tempted to subtly convince the new guy im not human? He has witnessed me do two things that can be characterized as abnormal

Today is just filled with LOTS of minor inconveniences! 🙄

Random thought i had when thinking about how i almost came out to my homophobic christian grandparents the other day: if gay ppl aren’t supposed to exist then why did God make it so Lesbians could literally smell each other?

Time for new work pants! 😬 #thiccthighs

Otherwise useless talent that comes in handy when washing dishes: my thumb is double jointed and i can basically fold my hand in half so I can stick my hand into bottles and jars so i can clean the bottom

Some Kitchen memes for your Sunday

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Just had a MAJOR nerd moment at work that had everyone shook. My coworker mentioned that her son got 36 presents and i said something about Dudley Dursley and they were all shook that i knew something that obscure and they had to look it up.

Merry nerd Christmas!

Question of the day: if your brain was put in a robot, would you still feel emotions?

A resident refuses to eat rice because “its not American” U shoulda heard my boss go off when he found that out!

Story idea thought for the day: An immortal married couple who date other people and one of their partners finds out they r married and all three of them fall in love