derek @websitehomepage

https://t.co/qikGJHlivD youtu.be/pTSw2grmnaA Joined April 2013

Tweets

558
Followers

75K
Following

742
Likes

34K

derek @websitehomepage

2 weeks ago

This is what I say to turds

4 29 833 21K 17

Download Image

Those whom I pass on the trail are Trailures. They are likely to hurt themselves and ought stay home reading about trails, not hiking them Those whom pass me are Trailhards. They've sacrificed their humanity to hike marginally better than me. One must imagine them miserable

6 391 5K 99K 282

derek @websitehomepage

3 weeks ago

This is how zohran started out

1 0 39 8K 1

CHAMBER OF REASON @chamberofreason

3 weeks ago

Thank god this repulsive person is testing me ft @calebpitts1997

0 12 206 10K 52

Download Video

derek @websitehomepage

4 weeks ago

Garry Tan @garrytan

a month ago

https://t.co/vtiYcW5glK

114 24 555 171K 79

Download Image

0 3 52 10K 1

Download Image

derek @websitehomepage

4 weeks ago

I just generated this using AI

0 13 215 9K 2

Download Image

derek @websitehomepage

4 weeks ago

In the upcoming King of the Hill + The Office crossover, Bobby gets a job working at The Office. Jim and pam are not visible but the viewer is able to imagine them living somewhere off screen

2 4 115 7K 0

derek @websitehomepage

4 weeks ago

I have created a new political ideology called Dark Evilism. Please support my new idea

10 34 530 22K 9

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

New evidence appears to show Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein at an anime convention in 2003. Trump, dressed as Chun-Li is seen 'glomping' Mr. Epstein, who is dressed as E. Honda

3 33 418 15K 6

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

God saved trump from assassination so he could withhold the epstein files which reportedly implicate God

9 77 2K 41K 27

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

I found an old man struggling in a bathroom stall. No toilet paper. “Here,” I said. “Use my hand”. I smiled warmly against his shocked expression. “Today you, tomorrow me”.

2 27 710 25K 17

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

Forgot the word neurodivergent and called myself a "mental minority" at my probation hearing

1 18 392 13K 11

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

AOC used to follow me in 2017 on her old account TurtlePal. Her gimmick was posting turtle pics and saying she wanted to wanted to live in a shell. While it's nice she "came out of her shell" and became a celebrity, I'm a little hurt she hasn't reached out in years.

0 4 184 8K 2

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

In the first ep of The Office reboot, Dwight becomes addicted to gooning and posts an incel manifesto before using a 3D printed gun to kill a mukbang streamer. The second episode is about pam

8 147 5K 101K 143

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

"Stop, please!" "Quiet slut, your screams only make me fuck harder." "Ahh!" Typical exchange from a heated roleplay sesh for these lovebirds. Not to worry, they have a safeword. Something that makes them laugh. The name of a ridiculed coworker.

3 3 236 9K 8

Download Image

derek @websitehomepage

2 months ago

Jim, an office worker, introduced his work wife to the concept of "Consensual Non-Consent".

2 14 493 25K 24

Download Image

derek @websitehomepage

3 months ago

I wish my diverse friend group would stop burning me with cigarettes and knocking me out of my wheelchair

1 139 3K 43K 55

derek @websitehomepage

3 months ago

Saw a guy get executed on the subway and nearly dropped my chopped cheese sandwich.

12 17 820 24K 12

derek @websitehomepage

3 months ago

After Forrest Gump’s death various women came forward to report his violent behavior. It’s understandable they kept quiet until now. He was an erratic man elevated to sainthood by a public happy to overlook his crimes.