unholy pig @xerikaraz
welcome to the deli bitch, we only serve roast beef Joined January 2018-
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Following69
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unholy pig retweeted
bartender: the usual my man? me: yessir bartender: [kisses me on the forehead]
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unholy pig retweeted
Why are threesomes only for sex why can’t I join in a couples argument if I want to
unholy pig retweeted
Joey Chestnut eats 75 hotdogs and is celebrated as a king. I eat 9 hotdogs one time at a kids birthday party and I’m “embarrassing to be around”
unholy pig retweeted
me and my girlfriend saw you from across the restaurant. are you gonna finish that
unholy pig retweeted
Quickly opening shazam while everyone sings me happy birthday
unholy pig retweeted
'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens bit.ly/3LL7T7p
unholy pig retweeted
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
unholy pig retweeted
doing this with a hot dog in lake michigan
doing this with a hot dog in lake michigan
unholy pig retweeted
Coachella sounds like a kind of bacteria. If someone told me they were tired from Coachella, I’d be like “you should have washed your lettuce better”
unholy pig retweeted
no membership? no problem. get the fuck out
unholy pig retweeted
To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my middle school year book…I have some devastating news
unholy pig retweeted
When the Hibachi chef asks if you can catch a shrimp in your mouth
unholy pig retweeted
Will Smith got the booster and went insane. Arrest Fauci.
unholy pig retweeted
I will pay up to $1 million in Kohl’s Cash for a leaked recording of the audio from the stage management team’s walkie-talkies
unholy pig retweeted
just found out some people were born in june of 2002. how does it feel knowing your parents found a way to be horny (at least once) during the month of september in 2001
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