yintspirational @yinterception

Darmok and Jalad at the Whole Foods Bakery section. Bezos, his sales unfurled

nah bro you got a big problem. you didn't account for rainwater accretion on the patio bro. the water is gonna pool. you need a degree or two of angle or the water will pool on the patio. your foundation is fucked bro. good luck

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y'all they got me fucked up off the Nirnroot

me: omg I love gambling I made $30 on sports betting me after 3 beers: I think I will have a fourth beer

sorry babe, i'm emotionally unavailable. nah it ain't personal, I've felt this way since 1776

just asked my magic eight ball if i was going to be successful this year turns out my grave has been dug in the rockies

they put a man on the moon and yet they can't put a god damn i in team

stop giving out your genetic data. instead, try this: *i shuffle a deck of cards poorly, they fall onto the ground* crap

Your PTO request: "March 7th-March 8th" for "Papa John's Blood and Flesh Festival" has been declined.

2024 grindset rules for 2024: 1. Eat more vegetables 2. Cook more, order out less 3. Aluminum bench 4. Learn a new language 5. Bottomless pit exploration 6. The bottomless pit does have a bottom and it is Hell

5 Tips Every Man Should Know: 1. How to tie a tie. 2. How to start a pyramid scheme. 3. How to file for bankruptcy. 4. 5. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshu

Every day we move closer to spring, I get one day closer to raising my plant children.

Playing Minecraft as a way to make my serotonin travel through time from 2012 to now

Remember that when life gets you down, social media was a mistake.

Millennials Need To Know: Teak is the superior wood.

It’s Game Day! Put on your team jersey! Eat your team jersey! Go to a tailgate! Tailgate others on the highway! Get food poisoning at a cookout! Discuss how your team would be better if you could play Quarterback! Destroy your TV!

💸 Big Money Moves: Not everyone can afford a quick snack on the go. Save money and eat healthy by munching on dollar bills and loose change. For a twist on a classic recipe, dip your coins in ranch or mustard for a bit of kick!

in french Spongebob is translated literally as "bob l'éponge", while patrick star is, of course, "patrick étoile" but squidward, for some reason, is called "Carlo"

📉 99% OF PEOPLE WON’T DO THIS: Next time you get gas, fill up the floor of your car with the pump. This will allow you to inhale dangerous fumes and store extra fuel for a long trip.