Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

big big day on the old salami line ☁️9️⃣ Joined November 2012

Tweets

4K
Followers

220
Following

211
Likes

6K

Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

2 weeks ago

Dear Twitter, I’ve really taken to calling people babe this week. For better or worse, this is who I am right now. Love, Brian

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❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther

4 months ago

Barista: And what’s a good name to put on the cup? Me: The Barista Strangler

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Blake Allen Murphy @blakemurphy7

4 months ago

Oh they're moving up for Jeanty

E X X ➠A L E R T S @ExxAlerts

5 months ago

Oh they're moving up for Jeanty

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subscribe to the state of the league patreon @JoestarJokic

6 months ago

the college players are worse at basketball so the basketball is better to watch

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greg @gurreggg

7 months ago

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

7 months ago

Can’t wait to dominate in Madden 79 at the nursing home when the time comes

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

7 months ago

Orange you glad I didn’t say Benghazi

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Benny Feldman 🪸🫧🐠 @Feldfrog

9 months ago

My son just came home after getting a ton of body modifications. Looks like he got the feathers of a duck, the beak of a duck, the feet of a duck, Honestly this might not be my son

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

9 months ago

Just successfully got rid of my hiccups by holding my breath for the first time in my life. Has never worked before. They’ll sing songs of this day.

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Brooks | 🏳️‍🌈 @brookstweetz

10 months ago

Donald Trump announces Baron Harkonnen will head spice production on the planet of Arrakis

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The obvious exploitation of the situation for political/social fragmentation aside, I find the phrasing “fatally stabbed by a Good Samaritan” equally humorous and disheartening. That’s my 2 cents here, gang!

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Boosie BadAzz @BOOSIEOFFICIAL

a year ago

I WAS OUTSIDE THE HOTEL WAITING TO GO TO AIRPORT N A BAND OF PEOPLE JUST CAME AROUND THE CORNER JAMMING N I AS RIGHG N THE MIDDLE OF IT LOL I HAD TO FALL N 🤣🤣

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Who's Next @WhosNextShow

a year ago

Pinstripe Gucci my pants

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

a year ago

Hey siri, ubereats zyn

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slate @PleaseBeGneiss

a year ago

what if biden announces he wants Kamala to take over but then with his dying breath he tells his wife it should be Hunter and also there are dragons

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

a year ago

The lunar rover found an iPod on the moon

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

a year ago

Selling Livestrong bracelets. DM for details. Supplies won’t last long.

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Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun

a year ago

This tweet has appeared on your timeline. Reply “Nah cuz why is this literally me 🤣” on 7 different engagement farming tweets by verified accounts or receive 13 years back luck. Share this tweet with your 10 closest friends to see which verified clickbait accounts they reply to

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jake rhodes @jakebrodes

a year ago

“Over time AI will take the place of ____!!” Why are we letting guys from California build a Devil that barely works. There’s a perfectly good Devil already and he’s red and strong and loves the United States of America.