carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord
🌚 Joined March 2011-
Tweets9K
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Followers235
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Following360
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carrison fjord retweeted
wife [sees me logging into X]: what the hell is that? me [too tired to explain all of the elon / twitter lore]: it's porn
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carrison fjord retweeted
mojo dojo casa house
carrison fjord retweeted
abba music: 🪩 💃 🕺 🕺 💃 🪩 abba lyrics: I hate my job. I am getting divorced. I am so tired all the time. the Spanish civil war
carrison fjord retweeted
there’s something so alyssa edwards ab this delivery…
there’s something so alyssa edwards ab this delivery…
My favorite patriotic song is Independence Day by Martina McBride because it’s about a woman killing her POS, abusive husband in a fire
If I see one more dude in public with a wedding ring on I’m gonna start swinging
carrison fjord retweeted
America was such bitch on Friday and now expects us to attend her birthday party on Tuesday? I don't think so, sweetie.
Starting to think my family is cursed by a “Madame Zeroni” that I need to carry up a mountain somewhere
Once again I am voting pink in a yellow state!
Once again I am voting pink in a yellow state!
carrison fjord retweeted
Yeah, I can grab ice on the way. Do you mind if I bring my mysterious boyfriend Pinkus
carrison fjord retweeted
had 2 glasses of wine about to text him “can I ask you something” and then turn my phone off til tomorrow
carrison fjord retweeted
Waffle House managers should have the same authority to officiate weddings that sea captains do
I’m 💀💀💀💀
carrison fjord retweeted
how do we sell him
carrison fjord retweeted
just trying to feel something
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