lillie @DemYucci

24 – minors dni // cw: 45 gw: 38 // 🏳️‍🌈 ⚢ // gym bro era // dms always open for venting or flirting. surprise me // Joined April 2012

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

I did something stupid tonight and when I was lying on the floor the only thing I could think was that I don´t want to d*e so far from my parents

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

its so sad. Its 8pm and I am just waiting for a reasonable time to go to bed... i just want to sleep and not wake up

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

No matter what I try Omad just works best for me. I only have to remove temptations by leaving the house as much as possible....

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

I am being fat on main and continue to gain. I gained my way back into the normal/healthy range and I am ready to cut off my tights

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

Why is being alive/simply existing so exhausting to me right now?

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

I hate being short so much. You see it immediately if i gain and my bmr is in the lower 1000 anyway...

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I had an obsession with apples for the past few months and its slowing dying out and now I don´t know what fruit to eat that makes me feel safe and not broke at the same time (looking at you raspberries)

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

Can somebody tell me why my fat ass thought it would be a god idea to say yes to go out for sushi on Sunday? I guess I´m liquid fasting until then to deserve it. At least I have a solid reason now

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

But the question I can not escape and ask myself more and more often: what for. I am nearly 25. I haven´t managed to neither die nor fill the void inside me

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

Isn´t it fun how every time you think you got it something throws you into a loop and you just fuck up everything

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

I need to get my self control back. I am in the same headspace I was when I lost the most weight. Just lacking the self control. I hope my (overpacked) schedule is helping me lose again

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

I thought I would do better mentally if I left this place. But honestly? I feel more alone than ever and my mh really did a deep dive

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

Guys, especially the younger ones: get help when you see signs that something is wrong Otherwise you end up in your mid 20s holding on to an 3d as coping mechanism or nearly crying over some stupid meal. It’s just not worth it

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lillie @DemYucci

3 years ago

I went running this morning then to the gym and thought I’m set for the day and have some peace. But now I guess I’m going on a 2 hour walk because it wasn’t the pre planned lunch