Open Mike Night @Durdackleton
Jokes don't hurt people, people hurt people. Dissociationtown USA Joined June 2012-
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Instead of daylight savings time, how about we abolish the leap year and just set the clocks back an hour every two months. I’d love a regular chance to catch up on sleep
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Interact with this tweet and I’ll send you my new twitter account
Open Mike Night retweeted
Kinda crazy how your feet are as big as your forearms, they look so much smaller down there
Somebody: “You are what you eat.” Vegetarians: *Eye each other hungrily*
Open Mike Night retweeted
Had to put down our employees today 🙏
Honestly not feeling free will rn. Where’s my determinism gang at?
Open Mike Night retweeted
Man, how hot do you think Freud's mom was?
The Dow is in retrograde so things may feel uncertain today, but NASDAQ is in Venus, so profits will come to those with the truest hearts. Gemini hold your investment until tomorrow and you will be rewarded. Stay strong gamers.
Open Mike Night retweeted
Here come the shorty apologists Give them no respect Get Shorty
Open Mike Night retweeted
Breaking news: Joe Biden uses aluminum Apple Watch, not stainless steel. What is he hiding?
“I get in the bad habit of saying liberal when I really mean a good person” -butch
Open Mike Night retweeted
Anyone else worried that Soros is paying these guys more than we got this summer? ANTIFA needs to unionize I swear
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