Frank @EffdotEss
I enjoy cold beverages. The Home of Tax-Free Shopping Joined March 2009-
Tweets8K
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Followers1K
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Following609
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Likes12K
I chime in with a “Haven’t you people ever heard of, staying the fuck at home?”
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Hey @bitchkrieg, thanks for the pick! Sorry I did that to your minivan, but you drive like an asshole. favstar.fm/users/bitchkri…
Frank retweeted
I don't care if John Stamos just turned 50, I'd still cuddle the fuck out of that handsome motherfucker.
You can fuck right off with your inspirational truck commercial, Chevy.
Hey @WookieInMyPants, your stick figure family gets to live to see another day. Thanks for the pick! favstar.fm/users/wookiein…
This bitch cut me off going into the parking lot so I cut off the heads of the stick figure family on her minivan.
Frank retweeted
Wow great story. Well, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Anyway the ramp is right over there so...
Frank retweeted
*door opens* "OMG OPTIMUS WHAT ARE-" "Mom it's not what you think! After the DUI they installed a breathalyzer & put it in a weird spot."
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“Be careful. I don’t want my sexiness to overwhelm you.” Times I’ve used this line on my wife: 682. Times it’s led to sex: 0.
Frank retweeted
I had a fucking awesome goatee once but it was just chocolate sauce.
Frank retweeted
All Canadians are tattooed with a tiny maple leaf somewhere on our bodies when we become adults The fun part is finding it
Frank retweeted
Just passed a car full of teens eating Fun Dip and one of them took the stick and did the cut throat motion so now I'm going like 100mph.
Frank retweeted
Who decided eyelashes were sexy? Hair coming out of eyes is pretty gross if you think about it. Eye hair is hot but ear hair isn't? Wtf.
Frank retweeted
The milkshake in my yard is made with anthrax. Come n get it boys.
@JimmerThatisAll Most welcome, George and Ringo are under appreciated.
I knew it wasn’t meant to be when she told me her favorite sandwich shop was Subway.
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