Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

I hatched from a Cadburys Creme Egg in the 1700s. Live in a travelling circus. My Native American name is He Who Runs With Scissors. favstar.fm/users/Inconste… Out there... in the shadows. Joined April 2009

Tweets

7K
Followers

4K
Following

542
Likes

108K

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

2 days ago

Mr Nobody vs. John Wick. Who would win and why?

1 0 0 40 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

a month ago

I'm not saying my Internet is sketchy, but lately it's as stable as a menopausal woman on a full moon.

0 0 0 37 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

2 months ago

#spottedinlondon

0 0 1 32 0

Download Image

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

2 months ago

Doctors and nurses always say, "You've seen one, you've seen them all." But we all know that's not true. I wonder how many wannabee pornstars auditioned and got told their coochie looked like a dropped lasagne?

0 0 1 38 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

3 months ago

My new manager"s gay. You can tell he's gay. They've that "lisp" when they pronounce "S's". Boss: What's with the lisp they all have? Me: They have a sore tongue 'cos of all the ball sacks they been licking. Boss: Good luck if he's licking sweaty ball sacks in this hot weather.

0 0 2 62 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

3 months ago

If John Wick has taught me anything, it's that fat guys are harder to kill.

0 0 2 52 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

3 months ago

Why did Superman never learn Kung Fu, or at least some other martial art?

0 0 2 59 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

4 months ago

I often wonder if Sean Paul thinks he has made a musical legacy in his 52 years of making absolute shite music...

0 0 0 47 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

4 months ago

Cat owners: assert your dominance by making them watch you splatter the dead creatures they bring you with a baseball bat and show them who they're fcuking with.

0 0 1 40 0

Just Me @justmeasme

5 months ago

Something positive is on the horizon. I'm trying so hard not to get excited and jinx it.

0 1 1 82 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

4 months ago

Never fuck with someone who isn't afraid to be alone.

0 0 1 69 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

4 months ago

Why was Theo James not considered as the next Superman?

0 0 0 95 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

4 months ago

No matter how stoopid you feel, remember: Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a wolf wasn't her grandma...

0 1 1 42 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

5 months ago

Weird how people in horror movies are still attractive. I always imagine them looking like the toothless beauties you see in Walmart or Tesco.

0 0 1 45 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

5 months ago

Why do Americans call it gas, when it's clearly a liquid?

0 0 0 49 0

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

5 months ago

Friends and family: "Why have you been single for so long?". Me: "Have you seen the women my age and the kids they bring with them? If I wanted pet monkeys, I would buy an annual pass at the zoo."

0 0 1 54 0

Tony P. @Tbone7219

5 months ago

If Kevin Bacon didn’t acknowledge his kids as "Bacon Bits" I’ll be forever disappointed.

14 43 202 10K 3

Dɑtɱɑƞ @Inconsteveable

6 months ago

Dating at my age is like trying to find a parking space. All the good ones are taken, and all that's left are either handicapped or so far out there nobody wants them.