Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd twitter.com/search/from:Ma… @[email protected] Joined August 2014-
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Followers23K
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Likes159K
I have moderate to severe anger at constantly hearing “moderate to severe” in product commercials….
I bought a new sundress and am waiting for the weather to cool down so that I can wear it.
My whole vibe is “At that time it seemed like a good idea”.
How toddlers and cats are alike: - they're cutest when they're asleep - they will absolutely destroy your sofa - they both eat out of the cat's bowl
Of all the jokes I tell myself, none is as funny as ‘I’m gonna catch up on some sleep this weekend.’
Once you realize I'm an idiot, my tweets start to make a lot more sense.
…it’s gonna be May?
[Salon] Receptionist: Is there a specific stylist you want to see? Me: One that doesn’t talk.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don't need to hate everything. You can even disagree with someone and still like them.
If I like someone, I like them, and if I'm attracted to someone, I'm attracted to them, and there's not an awful lot that can be done about that, it's hardwired.
Good intentions are just that. Good, until your bad self gets its way
Oh i'm well aware I made it weird but it's part of my charm and it will happen again
After age 30 do we keep all clothes in case they fit again forever? Asking for a friend.
A clown car but it’s just my child pulling rocks out of his pocket.
If the dessert options are carrot cake or nothing, you say no thanks and stop for gelato on the way home. Those are the rules.
Whoever names the live & active yogurt cultures should name the next one S. nuffleupagus.
Don’t tell me not to eat raw cookie dough because there is literally no other reason for me to buy it.
The first rule of dinner is: you do not ask what’s for dinner. The second rule of dinner is: you DO NOT ask what's for dinner! Third rule of dinner: don't ask what time dinner will be ready.
Cheer up buddy at least you tried - me to my therapist
I used to like that Piña Colada song but I thought the lyrics were "if you're not into Yoda, then you have a half a brain"... they're not and that song is now dead to me
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbolReal Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfKS̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
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66K Followers 18K Following I'm a silly kinda weird.. Coffee please? -`ღ´- https://t.co/OMVnn385QHmeghan @deloisivete
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43K Followers 987 FollowingLottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie
28K Followers 3K Following Tattooed mum & coffee enthusiast. Living life from one snack to the next.mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
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20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
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564 Followers 5K Following♫۵ 𝚁𝙰𝚅�.. @snapactress
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35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbolReal Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz@itssherifield @itssherifield
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45K Followers 2K Following𝐀 𝐌 𝐀 𝐍 �.. @littlegiinge
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11K Followers 9K Following Just a regular girl with a 9-5, livin life. 🌬️The pics I post I take. 🫶🏻This is turning into my memoir. 🫀@MadHatterMommy In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
@MadHatterMommy And it remains a very good idea. Just tweak the execution a tad bit this time around!?!
I have moderate to severe anger at constantly hearing “moderate to severe” in product commercials….
literally 😭
My whole vibe is “At that time it seemed like a good idea”.
Me and my besties
My whole vibe is “At that time it seemed like a good idea”.
Lmfaooo even if it seemed like a terrible idea 😭 the plot must plot dammit!
My whole vibe is “At that time it seemed like a good idea”.
@MadHatterMommy Hey. I am sorry. I was confused. What’s up? 😎
@MadHatterMommy @_indica_sky We all have that vibe from time to time
@MadHatterMommy Everything okay? *huggggs*