Plus Size Model Evan @PlusSize_Model
The camera loves me. Joined November 2012-
Tweets84
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Followers115
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Following54
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Likes1
I want to keep my mouth open really well to impress my dentist, but I also don't want to give him any ideas.
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.@ActuallyNPH Have you seen Dr. Horrible? It's really good.
.@jtimberlake I get it. You're sexy. But can you make a comb over and love handles sexy? Asking for a friend.
All my meetings are done over video chat and the camera adds 10 lbs. With 4 meetings a day, I'm gaining 40 lbs. per day. #CorporateLife
I wonder who is the most famous person I have shared a toilet seat with. I hope it's @bobsaget.
There is nothing hotter than browsing LinkedIn in the nude.
Plus Size Model Evan retweeted
Check out these hottest #plussize models who are larger than size 12!! #plussizeAppreciation daily.bhaskar.com/news/NAT-TOP-p…
Why don't more things taste like shrimp?
The joke's on you guys. All of those #JenniferLawrence leaked pics are just her face photoshopped on my body. #DontBeJealous
Guess who's coming to see COMPANY tonight, @Cotugs?
I loved Marley & Me in 3D. @BryanMoriarty @SarahAsh16 @TheBricmont @roxinobari #3DAllTheMovies
I feel like fucking Indiana Jones. No, seriously. Find me Harrison Ford. I'm gonna hit that.
Some young thang said I didn't tweet enough, so I'll just say to her: @KatieTheActor, are you surprised my phone didn't autocorrect "thang?"
Without slavery, there'd be no rap music. Without hipster coffee houses, there'd be no slam poetry. You tell me who the real monsters are.
Not sure if my clothes are shrinking or I just got fat.
If you masturbate with a Muppet, is it a hand job or a blow job? @BigSeanMo @SarahAsh16 @BryanMoriarty @davidcmcguire @Thesutorius
It sickens me how few dick jokes I make. I don't deserve to be in a 1st world country. I should be making iPhones, not using them.
Each time I think I'm an adult, I catch myself watching cartoons and drinking the middle of the afternoon and think, "Close enough."
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