Gary Woodward @QuizMasterGary

44, Peterborough. Used to be a director of Live TV & an online DJ, current spandex wearer. Proud ‘Pointless’ trophy, ‘Countdown’ teapot & IKEA Lack table owner. Peterborough, UK Joined February 2009

Tweets

5K
Followers

283
Following

680
Likes

6K

Fesshole🧻 @fesshole

3 weeks ago

I suggested music during sex. Husband agreed. I put my old iPod on shuffle and we got some good music. We were just about to start the main event when the Countdown theme came up. It really soured the atmosphere. No more nookie music for us.

62 12 1K 157K 17

$B @BrendanDaGawd

a month ago

⠀

33 1K 32K 1.3M 579

Download Image

Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson

a month ago

42 1K 15K 647K 549

Download Image

shamr0ck @shamr0ck2

2 months ago

@SilverstoneUK Thanks

0 1 0 66 0

Download Image

Jason Ross @Jayross135

2 months ago

I was just caught trying to get over the fence at Glastonbury but the security grabbed me and told me to go back and finish watching Rod Stewart #Glastonbury2025 #RodStewart

65 194 2K 113K 18

Chris Bakke @ChrisJBakke

3 months ago

I’ve started joining every Google Meet 30 seconds early. When you join early, everyone’s virtual note takers join early too. I spend the first few seconds screaming about how I’m on the Titanic, we’ve just hit an iceberg, the end is near, and I need immediate assistance. I…

207 1K 31K 1.3M 3K

Gary Woodward @QuizMasterGary

3 months ago

Shout out to the @LNER first class crew today. With power problems on the 0806 Lincoln train they were able to get a sausage sandwich to me 5 mins before arriving at Peterborough and breakfast after my night shift in London was saved. Thanks!

1 0 3 1K 0

Download Image

Paul Freethy @PaulFreeth14136

4 months ago

@BBCBreakfast Reform, like Bodyform but for bigger fannies

0 4 6 393 0

Swear Clock @swearclock

5 months ago

Well, Thrap Me Gently With An Overripe Mango And Call My Cat A Bastard It's 9:00PM

0 2 6 2K 0

David Mitchell @RealDMitchell

5 months ago

I’m genuinely delighted to see this:

Sky Sports Football @SkyFootball

5 months ago

I’m genuinely delighted to see this:

206 698 12K 3.7M 915

Download Video

127 1K 24K 2.3M 1K

Gary Woodward @QuizMasterGary

6 months ago

.@qskinz hi! Will you be selling skins for the 2nd gen MagSafe charger?. Have recently bought one and really like yours as they are full coverage!

0 0 1 50 0

Gary Woodward @QuizMasterGary

6 months ago

In a really bad place rn. Not mentally I'm in Stevenage

0 0 1 40 0

Download Image

Gary Woodward @QuizMasterGary

7 months ago

Cycling to the station for work this morning I come across two youths shouting "FUCKING!!!" As loud as they dare. @dickndom your game has evolved! #bogies

0 0 1 45 0

Swear Clock @swearclock

7 months ago

I've Got A Fucking Nasty Bug And I'm Doing Bum Wees Every Half An Hour Ffs, Anyway It's 8:00PM

0 1 4 1K 0

john sturgis @sturgios

7 months ago

When Meatloaf sang: ‘I will do anything for love (but I won’t do that)’ I assumed at the time he was referring to some extreme sex act but as I get older I think it’s more probable it was something more like ‘go to Bluewater on a Saturday’ or ‘watch Call The Midwife’

262 557 10K 449K 160

Duncan Lindsay @DuncanLindsay

8 months ago

Tesco presenting creme eggs to me in January

51 1K 15K 744K 359

Download Image

Fatbaldbloke @Fatbaldbloke1

8 months ago

In Curry's, a member of staff is doing an electrical repair to a hoover. I said 'Make sure that's unplugged or you'll be Dyson with death'. Nothing. Not even a smirk. Wasted talent.

192 336 15K 661K 133

mutable joe @mutablejoe

9 months ago

he's making a list he's checking it twice he's inserting bullet points he's moved a picture shit undo undo what the margin trying to insert more bullet points they're now shifted left? Santa Claus is struggling with Microsoft Word