LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

wanderer, non breeder, conch eater, and 3 am random thought tweeter. https://t.co/0GrxwXhdOE Joined April 2012

Tweets

6K
Followers

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Following

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

5 years ago

Queer Eye except Karomo and the Polish guy are naked at my house, I’m smoking a cigar, they really need rent money and wait is this a porn? What’s on that mirror? I’m a photographer. I’m so sorry

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

5 years ago

I’m not a dr but I feel like my friend may be depressed. 😂

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Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin

6 years ago

im a bitch / im a lover im a stepdad / hey there slugger

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

6 years ago

I may take that stimulus money and invest it in Chaturbate. We’re going to need it a lot more than Amazon soon.

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dread pirate rebecca @mllebeckyrose

6 years ago

When I was young I thought by forties I would be settled but oh the rage, the rage I did not account for.

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eric10F @Eric10F

6 years ago

Due to lack of manscaping, my “happy trail” has become so thick, three travelers died of dysentary in it.

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eric10F @Eric10F

6 years ago

Drowning your sorrows only works until they learn to swim...

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

6 years ago

If a woman is physically healthy you can learn all you need to know by how many hospital socks they own. I have 14. They never check the sock drawer.

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

6 years ago

Friend texted saying “I’m so sorry I forgot about you” and come on dude, that’s what my parents said when they left me at Disney World why do you have to get me right where I’m so sensitive!

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mark normand @marknorm

6 years ago

The porn award nominations came out and the labia minoras are very unrepresented, also the clit was overlooked again.

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

6 years ago

My dr told me people aren’t supposed to cry every day. Like ok bro, people aren’t supposed to wear pleated slacks either so I question your judgement.

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Ryan Trickey @trickeycomedy

6 years ago

Learning to drive is a lot like learning to have sex. At first you’re really nervous but after a while you can do it while texting, while eating, while being drunk, and also my aunt taught me.

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Ryan Trickey @trickeycomedy

6 years ago

When you drink non-alcoholic beer yet still feel the urge to drunkenly bother women and rev your engine at red lights that’s called the placebro effect.

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Bess Kalb @bessbell

6 years ago

Men are too emotional to be president.

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LeighCarrie @RubyBottoms

6 years ago

Idt you’re really an adult until you’ve looked at something weird on your body and solemnly thought “yep, there it is, that’s what’s going to kill me.”