Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

Writer/Human/Taking Candy From Babies https://t.co/qt2BkB9tXs https://t.co/ZqPGhveJ9z https://t.co/VD2FNv9uPB favstar.fm/users/_AdAbsur… NY Joined June 2009

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Drank espresso to get rid of a migraine an hour ago. Anyone need me to scrub their bathroom floors with a toothbrush?

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Reading about weight loss while eating a giant bag of chips.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

The best conversations are the ones I have with myself.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

I’m not procrastinating. I’m exploring all of my options in my head.

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My favorite part about the seasons changing is OH MY GOD EVERY INCH OF ME ITCHES AND IM OUT OF ALLERGY MEDICINE MAKE IT STOP WHY WONT IT STOP I DONT HAVE ENOUGH HANDS TO SCRATCH EVERYWHERE IT JUST WONT STOP

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

*gets up early* I have so much to do today. *drinks coffee and stares off into space for 3 hours*

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

“What day is today?” - Me everyday for the past year.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Him: *hums* Me: “Something needs to shut the f#ck up.” Him: “Me?” Me: “No, my phone. It’s been going off all night.”

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Changing the lyrics from “In Your Eyes” to listing everything that ends up in my eyes.

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Paul Myers @pulmyears

5 years ago

These are “The Days Of The Week.” #SCTV

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Adulthood has taught me a lot of things. Like using my stepson’s bubblegum flavored toothpaste is truly a quality of live decision I’m willing to fight for.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Here I am with coconut oil in my eyes again. I may not be be able to see but my contact lenses are getting some serious hydration.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

It took me half an hour to figure out how to get to my Facebook timeline to respond to birthday messages from yesterday. This does not bode well for the year ahead.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Only a few hours left until I’m a year older. I better make this time count. *stares off into space for half an hour*

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

I’m not sure what’s worse, being stuck in my house for 6 months or inside this Whole Foods for the past hour.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

Nobody watches your Instagram stories.

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Ad Absurdum @_AdAbsurdum_

5 years ago

How could I NOT accidentally hit someone (myself) or something (my car) wielding a baseball bat at a piñata while blindfolded.

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Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake

5 years ago

MIXED UP MY CLOTHES HAMPER AND MY TRASHCAN AND NOW I'M CAREFULLY FOLDING A BANANA PEEL AND PLACING IT NEXT TO SOME NEATLY STACKED CARROT PEELINGS HOW LONG WILL I KEEP UP THIS CHARADE???