aching words @achingwords
for that soft achey-ness you feel Joined May 2014-
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Even then, I still believe in a love that will meet me at my own altar. A love that patches the holes in the ceiling. A love who comes, heart in hand, and means it.
What I’m saying is, maybe that’s easier to aim for than totally letting go of someone you love. Putting it down and walking away from it and knowing that you can always pick up the hurt later if you want to. I hope you stop wanting to.
You are made of bent coat hangers, honey, gravel, epoxy and handstands. I am made of lying on the floor, the same song on repeat.
He was never mine but losing him broke my heart anyway.
Of all the people I’ve been, My favorite was the one who was loved by you.
I always live through every drought because I am gentle and beating and something that can’t be killed.
So I dream about you like clockwork, like angels, like getting down on your knees for something holy.
I want to tear this love from my skin but it stays, and stays, and stays.
I hope you know that the whole earth thinks softly of you.
I don’t want to love less, I won’t simmer myself down.
"I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have..." — Shauna Niequist
How good it felt: to want something and pretend you don’t, and to get it anyway.
I keep remembering — I keep remembering. My heart has no pity on me.
I put my grief back on. I’m not used to being happy. Like how I’m not used to high-heeled shoes. Or too many rings.
Like any unloved thing, I don’t know if I’m real when I’m not being touched.

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