best_bios @bios_best
and this week best bio belongs to this user : @thejoebiz bio(graphy) should be written by a acute enemy . favstar.fm/users/bios_best Joined October 2012-
Tweets491
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Followers1K
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Following1K
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Likes202
if i was god instead of wasting my time make lesbo women look hot would made straight women look hotter .
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Me: "What colour are my eyes?" Him: "34 C?" Me: *sigh
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Neglect your real life and be imaginary BFFs with tons of people from the internet. No one is laughing at you. That's totally normal.
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I always have too much month left at the end of my money.
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I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn't dilute in the shower.
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We can all agree that there are many things to be thankful for. And everyone here can agree the most important are drugs and alcohol.
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The secret isn't figuring out if she's crazy, it's figuring out what KIND of crazy she is.
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i want to love you, but i'm worried that you'll love me back.
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Sent an email to my Mom. Now I'm at her place showing her how to open it.
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Being an adult is when you have more nightmares while awake than you do when asleep.
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It’s fun to joke about our crazy families on holidays. But I’d give anything to have my Dad around to annoy the shit out of me one more time
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You know when doctors leave the room they are just checking Web MD right?
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I asked my wife for advice once. Worst three days of my life.
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Waiting for my kid to finish up at Laser Tag and can't help thinking Taser Tag would be a fun game with other people's kids.
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I could be a morning person. If morning happened around noon.
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If you're planning to teach your children the value of a dollar, you better hurry up.
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I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast.
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I’m not saying my dad didn’t love me, but he did like to watch my birth video backwards
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Dear life. When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
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