Cody Allsman @codalls

Official Twitter account of Cody Allsman. Joined August 2012

Tweets

538
Followers

59
Following

266
Likes

2K

Cody Allsman @codalls

4 years ago

I hate click-baity, let-down articles on Facebook whose sole purpose is to generate revenue from its 250+ ads per article. But I also really wanna see "55 Never-Before-Seen Photos of the Titanic Before It Sank" so I click on them anyways.

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MLB @MLB

4 years ago

OTD 10 years ago, @DavidFreese forced Game 7 and became a Cardinals legend. #ULTRAMoment

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MLB @MLB

4 years ago

Yadi is coming back for a 19th season! Yadier Molina has reportedly agreed to a one-year extension with the @Cardinals, per @JonHeyman.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

4 years ago

If mosquitoes went extinct, I wouldn't even be sad. Don't even put them on the endangered species list, just let em go.

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The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee

5 years ago

Kanye West Releases New Special Edition Jesus Nikes babylonbee.com/news/kanye-wes…

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

I still get nervous when carrying a bunch of balloons that I'm accidentally gonna let one go.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

I should start a snow shoveling service in my neighborhood to help me make some extra money. I have an idea for an ad campaign: Will shovel any driveway for $20! All proceeds will be going to Discover Student Loans for their continued support for me while I was in school.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

How is Disney+ gonna have all of the Home Alone movies except the best one, Home Alone 4?

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

So I'm reading Matthew and he just throws out a huge spoiler in chapter 10 verse 4 like it's no big deal.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

I blame all those people who made those 20/20 vision jokes at the beginning of the year for bringing all this stuff upon us.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

Ants, when you accidentally step on their ant hill:

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

I've been eating Taco Bell my whole life. My immune system has been prepared for COVID-19.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

5 years ago

While I was out delivering newspapers last night, I saw a cat and an opossum just chillin in the middle of the road together like they were just hanging out and I thought this has to be like one of those unlikely animal friendships stories.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

6 years ago

At some point in life you have to ask yourself, "Am I Walgreens or CVS type of person?" I'm a Walgreens.

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Cody Allsman @codalls

6 years ago

I feel like the only hobby I've picked up during social distancing has been looking for the best deals at fast food restaurants.

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The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee

6 years ago

God To Ignore Quarantine And Continue Being Everywhere buff.ly/2J0pMRu

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Cody Allsman @codalls

6 years ago

My nephew Osias arrived last night! (Technically this morning I guess)

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Cody Allsman @codalls

6 years ago

We got some toilet paper on our way to the hospital this morning and my mom said "Hide it under the seat so that no one sees it and tries to break into our car and steal it."