A Simple Man @complex_jack
Everything I tweet should and better be taken literally. Chicago, IL Joined February 2012-
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A Simple Man retweeted
I give up
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A Simple Man retweeted
“My name is Chicago. Actually it’s Schaumburg but it’s easier to just go by Chicago.”
A Simple Man retweeted
just as a beautiful woman leans in to kiss me at midnight on NYE i disappear out of thin air. camera cuts to me meditating luke skywalker style, floating an inch above my computer chair, where i’ve actually been gaming all night
I only exchanged to crypto currencies so bullies couldn't grab my ankles and shake money out of my pockets anymore
@PaytonStolp You know you've made a mark when people are talking about you three years later. Also I totally can pick out his jokes in Parks episodes too
Well it finally happened. Took the big stall and a guy with a cane is now waiting on the other side.
I can't wait until I'm old and refuse to adopt the most recent technology
.@complex_jack then I had to turn down my Phish jam as I passed a homeless guy in a tye dye shirt when I exited the freeway.
I just had one of those Office Space moments where I kept switching to the wrong lane in a traffic jam.
Christmas mass notes: every old person's butt tightening during the "ethnic" hymn at the end.
My mom just asked if I wanted to see a funny video about a squirrel. This may be the greatest moment of my young life.
@PaytonStolp wow that's the bears record? I kind of like him showing off his stuff and the bears still losing
Aug. 2015: Haha Trump's running Dec. 15: Trump's out before Caucus May 2016: Trump won't win nomination Aug. 16: Trump won't be president
@PaytonStolp it was the guy with the canvas backpack. Dead giveaways: my nose.
Currently playing my favorite train game: Who's holding the weed?
@PaytonStolp I tried to pick the best time go out. You're welcome
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