David Mack @davidmackhello

critical darling, extremely renowned, lurking Chicago, IL Joined April 2009

Tweets

485
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243
Following

320
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3K

David Mack @davidmackhello

a year ago

here's my explainer vid on the #DrakeVsKendrick feud #kendrickvsdrake #DrakeDiss #drakeexposed #kendricklamar 🙌

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David Mack @davidmackhello

a year ago

I did it! I wrote this! I matter!

The New Yorker Humor @newyorkerhumor

a year ago

I did it! I wrote this! I matter!

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much like David Berkowitz, my dog is ALWAYS telling me what to do!! but Loofa only commands me to do nice things!! Like order her an incredible DOGGERCHIEF from @julieklausner!!!! Thank you Julie!❤️❤️❤️

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David Mack @davidmackhello

3 years ago

Everything Everywhere All at Once is like if you assembled a group of talented musicians, provided them with really nice instruments, a great venue with great acoustics, but then forced them to play only Primus songs

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David Mack @davidmackhello

3 years ago

I love my beautiful daughters their names are Ozempic and Skyrizi :)

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

I don’t usually get personal on here but I’m literally so fucking sick of walking around my neighborhood and seeing hateful stuff like this directed at me, a guy who likes to drink rain-water

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

When I check out at a coffee shop I always say “thank you” sooo earnestly and deferentially, so they know I’m ‘real’ and soo nice authentic good boy unlike the other nobody customers

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

guy who thinks o brother where art thou soundtrack is freak folk

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

I’d love to fistfight that smug stick figure from xkcd cartoon like shut up you lil nerd

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

I stand with independent musicians and this week i will be removing all of my music (teeth) from Spotify (my mouth)

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

My mom is my hero ❤️ every time im feeling low, I know I can call her and hear the same words of wisdom she has taught me since I was a boy: “Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Seven. One. Six. Eight. Five ”

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

I’m sapiosexual, which means I would fuck any of the M&Ms

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

David in Chicago (Emily in Paris parody)

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

me to the cashier at jewel osco: hey what’s good here?

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

how come in poems they say “O” like just say “Oh” it honestly fucking sucks

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

me (trying to sneak my idea into conversation for tacit social approval): we HAVE to listen to the science. I stand with the teachers union. we MUST allow me to smoke a cigarette near the gas pump

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

“Write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens”

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David Mack @davidmackhello

4 years ago

launching competitor to wordle where you get to hang out with all the letters in VR metaverse. and they actually treat you w respect and don’t let you down the way people always do