Dr. Prof. Patrick @drprofpatrick
Full Professor of Cynicism and Punology Want to dress like me? http://t.co/008h9oLkXp Education Station Joined March 2010-
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A paper that is 2.5x the required length isn't going to impress me. If I ordered a double cheeseburger, but you gave me a burger with five patties, well...I'm not going to be happy because that's not going to be a well-balanced burger. #grading
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Sometimes, hard workers realize that half their effort would meet or exceed the effort of everyone else. But, hard workers also can't stop themselves. #tryingtoohard
New Syllabus Policy (con't): 6. Fees will be charged for meeting outside of office hours. 7. Fees will be charged for weekend email replies. 8. Fees will be charged for emails about an assignment within six hours of when it's due. 9. Double fees charged for parent phone calls.
New syllabus policy: 1. Fees will be charged for late work. 2. Fees will be charged for Incomplete Grades. 3. Fees will be charged for Letters of Recommendation. 4. Fees will be charged for handling plagiarism. 5. Fees will be charged for things clearly listed in the syllabus.
If you need a certain grade for a particular program, then the details will always count. You can't just do a "good enough" job in your courses. You have to put in the extra effort because your dream program demands it. #grading #savinglives #yourewelcome
Dear student: put your paper next to the sample essay. Do they even remotely look alike? If not, then you did something wrong. Fix it. Read the instructions and follow them. #grading #losingeasypoints
My favorite #grading tool is about three fingers of bourbon, neat.
No, you lectured with coffee grounds in your teeth. #overyet
Have to go back and fix some comments. Commented half the essay without my fingers on the home keys. #grading #ishouldbedrinkinginstead
Your paper gets 6 minutes of my time. I'll comment as much as I can, but I'm basing the grade off what I can accomplish. #gettingolder #timerunningout #grading
Student: I'm good at bs-ing in my essays. Me: [having just graded essay] No, you're not. You're good at bs-ing yourself, though. #grading
In order to support administrative drives toward retention, I will be converting all grades to As. You get an A. You get an A. Look under your seats...As for everyone! Fine print: A grades are pending until next semester's classes are scheduled and paid for.
Twitter! What did you do to the web interface?
If so much was riding on this course, why didn't you take it more seriously until now? My response to I can't graduate/I can't get into X program/I'll lose my scholarship/I won't be able to play sports/I can't transfer to Uni. #grading #DoNotWantYourGuilt
I'm going to create a pamphlet for my students called "So, I Plagiarized. Now What?" that walks them through the consequences in the course, what follows from admin, and how to remediate it (if possible). Then, I can just give that to them automatically. #grading
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