🦌Claude🦌 @fearthedeer69

running away to greece is ok. sleeping with 3 men in one summer is ok. not knowing which one of them is the father of ur daughter is ok. encountering the 3 of them at her wedding is ok. only communicating through abba songs is ok. do whatever u need to do to cope.

stop scrolling 🛑 ✋🏾!!! IM FROM THE FUTURE 🤖 🚀🚨i need to let you know 😳😳 that 2020 will be the best year you’ve ever had 🎉🎊🤩🤩! u finna accomplish so much 🥳🥳 & learn a lot about life🌎🌍🤨!! i’m so proud of you 😰😰no cap 🚫🧢 !! ight u can scroll now!! ☝🏾

hm... the end of finals is always bittersweet

this anthropology paper may actually kill me ... if it does, tell @itshildabitch to stay away from my stuff

Who decided the mistletoe was the fuck plant

stayed up a little later than intended and have definitely missed the breakfast window... anyone feel like brunching with us?

thinking about quitting school to pursue my interest in becoming a lizard

psa for @itshildabitch and @ubertdriver: can you both pick like one (1) jacket of mine to keep or can we work out some sort of exchange policy? I literally have one left

well, today's the day when the bf says it's time to shave, who am I to argue 😔

I told my boyfriend to come over because it's Black Friday and my clothes will be 100% off. And he said, "...I don't even fit your clothes" 😔🤚🏼

My arms hurt more after Black Friday shopping with Hilda than they ever do after going to the gym

the first holiday decoration to be freed from my closet 🦌❄️

two glasses of wine deep and the party is ready to start 🤙🏽 see you all soon #Thankful

[img: Claude's taking a selfie while standing in the kitchen. Ashe is right behind him, posing with a spatula and grinning at the camera] Woke up early to get ready for tonight! Master chef and I are going to blow your minds 😬

to everyone cooking for our feast over the next few days: make sure you know where your fire extinguishers are 😬

my heart says go to the outdoor shooting range but my mind says I will freeze solid 😔

studying with @itshildabitch is 40% talking, 30% actually studying, and 30% learning lyrics to songs for karaoke night

[vid: Ashe is sitting in his bed, switch in his lap. Claude is doing a horrible nature documentary voiceover: "a wild Ashe, in his natural habitat. he's been hunting wild Pokemon w/out realizing that he himself is hunted!" The video blurs and Ashe yelps as Claude jumps on him]

there are lots of things I didn't realize about growing a beard, but one of the perks I realized this weekend is that I no longer get carded at the bar