commando brando @generic_brandon
a vile creature bathed in the pale light of a cerulean moon Pensacola, Florida Joined April 2013-
Tweets16K
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Followers343
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Following1K
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Likes121K
Mom told me to download tinder so I could meet a nice girl on vacation 💀
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commando brando retweeted
commando brando retweeted
an oscar for danny huston
Sorry dude even us straight cis baristas are radical leftists
Sorry dude even us straight cis baristas are radical leftists
I love taking my breaks in the leader office bc the big store boss never realizes I'm here so I hear her yell on phone calls and then slam the door and blast Taylor Swift max volume every day
The baddest woman I ever fumbled posted TWO selfies to her private story tonight but I will not slide into dm's for only a foolish man begs when his plate is full
Come over I just learned how to play that Piece the Veil song people been shaking ass to on TikTok
commando brando retweeted
when i'm broke: when i get paid again ima start saving shit fr this time no unnecessary shit me when i get paid: google, show me your most frivolous and worldly things
Stop casting Matt Smith in stuff I hate his face
Stop casting Matt Smith in stuff I hate his face
commando brando retweeted
All-timer Barry clip
Drunk as hell on a Monday and they're paying creed in the bar
How do I tell an ex to fuck off and stop coming into my work place but also if she wants to talk just lmk
commando brando retweeted
to get a girlfriend these days you have to be 100 feet tall and make 100 dollars a year and have 100 pack abs and 100 hairs on your head
Showing chest hair at work today #officesiren
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daisy “dan goose”... @fatstevebuscemi
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