Michael @jonasdash

sports fan, gamer, joker, socialist, athiest, introvert, pluviophile, he/they ❤️🇺🇦🌈🇵🇸🌊 alt: @jonasDFS dub.sh/jonasdashhh ✨ t h e i n t e r n e t ✨ Joined June 2009

Tweets

17K
Followers

370
Following

60
Likes

8K

Michael @jonasdash

7 months ago

To honor this week's finale, and because the work is mysterious and important, I have created a Dinner Party menu for the fans to enjoy equally #severance #appletv #lumon #finale #kier #coldharbor #meme #television @BenStiller @DanErixon @mradamscott

0 0 4 271 0

Download Image

Michael @jonasdash

a year ago

I'm sorry

0 0 0 35 0

Download Video

Michael @jonasdash

a year ago

Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈🩷💛💙🏳️‍⚧️

0 0 0 33 0

Download Image

Michael @jonasdash

a year ago

typical commercial beer haters - “I don’t drink gay pussy beer” craft beer drinkers - “this one has delightful hints of citrus, vanilla, and lavender” 🥴

0 0 0 37 0

Michael @jonasdash

a year ago

kombucha tastes like a depression flavored LaCroix

0 0 0 22 0

Michael @jonasdash

a year ago

scrolling through @beingbernz insta and I spy what I swear is a baby @marcellohdz 😳🤔🤔🤔

0 0 1 113 0

Download Image

Michael @jonasdash

2 years ago

we fit so good together, cuz i knew you like i knew myself. we clung on like barnacles on a boat; even though the ship sinks you know you can't let go

0 0 1 44 0

Michael @jonasdash

2 years ago

It's International Women's Day!!! So ladies, this is your reminder to be sure you put your vibrator on the charger now so it will be ready for later You're welcome 😉

0 0 0 62 0

hold up she made enough to afford TS tix from her lemonade stand in 3 months before they were released but after it was announced? then managed to beat bots & others in the minutes it takes to sell out or she made $3k off a lemonade stand & got her ticket from a reseller? 🧢

0 0 0 86 0

Michael @jonasdash

2 years ago

I've never made more than 30,000/yr and I'm 46 I'll support Rep McHenry, as long as he sends me 30 years worth of the difference between his "not enough" and my reality. By my estimate, you owe me 4.3 million dollars. I'll gladly pay my taxes on it, too

unusual_whales @unusual_whales

2 years ago

3K 1K 8K 7.7M 462

1 0 1 94 0

Michael @jonasdash

2 years ago

1. Ketchup (except occasionally on french fries) 2. Reality TV shows that aren't Survivor 3. People that can't spell 4. Gen Z/Alpha slang 5. Anime 6. College Football 7. iPhone 8. Pepsi 9. Using speakerphone in public 10. GOP / MAGA