str8 up confused @lexieeilers
“we are drowning in information, while starving for wisdom” -E.O. Wilson Joined October 2012-
Tweets6K
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Followers256
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Following310
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Likes4K
If it wasn’t for the advancement science and the invention of glasses, natural selection would’ve taken me years ago.
Five semesters and my professor still can’t spell my name correctly ☹️
(having the worst, most graphic intrusive thought i‘ve had in a long, long time) ok now do a silly one
Imagine my surprise when I finally started Kenobi and Flea is in the first two episodes
i love when my cat pushes open the bathroom door the same way a cowboy would bust open the doors to a saloon
When the patient asks where we are and you don’t even know which hospital you’re at 🫠🥴
Me, literally watching a c section: man I’m hungry
Every EMS staff member is in the conference room watching the Depp vs Heard verdict and I’m not even surprised
Someone stop me from spending $800 on legos as a “you survived this semester” treat to myself
cat.
Am I tachycardic bc I’m having an anxiety attack or is it from the ice coffee I slurped down in record time? Find out next time
Jd, sleep talking “it’s in the house!” Me “WHATS IN THE HOUSE” Jd, still asleep “you” I might kill this man
“He’s named ArmIE HAMMER OF COURSE HES A CANNIBAL” - Ben, very upset that Armie Hammer is related to the Arm&hammer people
No amount of service industry experience can prepare you to walk up to greet a table to find a woman eating a lemon WITH the peel and talking to someone that isn’t there
Who let me get my hopes up that I would be graduating soon I’m never graduating
Put my shoes on this morning and realized I can’t spread my toes in them right away so yeah it’s gonna be a bad day
y’all are pushing me to the jar jar brink
Took a Benadryl and then chugged an ice coffee, let’s find out who wins this round.
Wore my hair down at work today until 30 min later when the dishwasher said “damn lex you look like you had a rough night”
William 🤷🏾�... @Lifeofkingwill
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