Molly McNearney @mollymcnearney
ep and co-head writer for jimmy kimmel live, emmys, oscars. i will squeeze your baby. Joined September 2010-
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It’s a great honor to be part of the team that gets under Trump’s orange skin night after night. - “his wife”
It’s a great honor to be part of the team that gets under Trump’s orange skin night after night. - “his wife”
Thank you so much for coming to my child’s birthday party. As a symbol of my gratitude, here is a small bag of plastic crap I didn’t want to buy and you don’t want to take home.
My wife @mollymcnearney & I are MATCHING donations to @StJosephCtr this Thanksgiving. $50 buys a turkey dinner for a family of four! stjosephctr.org/jimmyandmollyt…
Welp. Had a good run. Sang happily w my daughter in the car for nine years. Today it was declared “embarrassing.” I have no choice but to do it shirtless now.
When you deliver a baby they put a tiny plastic wristband on the baby that grants them lifetime VIP access to every trip you take the bathroom.
This tweet is for people who read the words Swatch watch and know exactly what that smells like.
America’s best actors are at the Costco free samples stands feigning interest in buying the product.
Today every mother realizes what an incredible job she’s done as a photojournalist of fatherhood on her phone.
Great day to NOT BE ABLE TO DO A LATE NIGHT SHOW. #wgastrong
I’m about to leave town for an extended period of time which means I will now eagerly text friends to make plans when I get back. Don’t fall for my bullshit.
Let’s not wait for your kid’s face to get blown off by an assault weapon for you to take a stand on them. #BanAssaultWeaponsNow
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO NOT WRITE TO THIS!?! #wgastrong
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO NOT WRITE TO THIS!?! #wgastrong
here's a clip from Trump's deposition where he comments on the Access Hollywood tape
Ya know what’s fun about asking someone “how are the kids?” at a party? They wanna answer that as much as you wanted to ask it.
Still thinking about how hug-less that whole brilliant hour of Succession was.
Thank you, grand jury for indicting him two hours before we shoot tonight's show. @JimmyKimmelLive
.@timburchett, my daughter Jaime would disagree with you. If you think you can't fix the gun violence problem, just resign. Be useless elsewhere. Jaime is forever 14, she was murdered in the Parkland shooting. You, & people like you, are the problem. x.com/brenonade/stat…
.@timburchett, my daughter Jaime would disagree with you. If you think you can't fix the gun violence problem, just resign. Be useless elsewhere. Jaime is forever 14, she was murdered in the Parkland shooting. You, & people like you, are the problem. x.com/brenonade/stat…
Ladies, there are only two options for swimsuit bottoms this season: dental floss or diaper. Good luck out there.
Right now Melania is rolling her eyes at Donald Trump practicing his perp walk poses in a golden mirror.
I LOVE that we got under his thin orange skin. rollingstone.com/politics/polit…
Louis Virtel @louisvirtel
164K Followers 1K Following #KeepIt on Crooked Media, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Wikipidiot
andy lassner @andylassner
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Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA
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Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
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Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
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Judd Apatow 🇺🇦 @JuddApatow
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Emily Favreau @emilyfavreau
92K Followers 2K Following mom to human baby, Charlie and goldendoodle baby, Leo. tweets are mostly puppies and politics.
Fortune Feimster @FortuneFeimster
234K Followers 642 Following My new Netflix special ‘Good Fortune’ is now streaming 🔮 Come see me perform standup live on tour!
JD Harmeyer @jdharm
293K Followers 560 Following 1991-92 Black Lane Elementary Spelling Bee Champion
Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
295K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDS
Caissie @Caissie
68K Followers 7K Following TV Jokes! FORMER Letterman/Rosie/BWE w/@pftompkins/Watch What Happens Live! w/@Andy Cohen, Busy Tonight! YA novelist, author @debenham's girl. She/her
Meredith Salenger @MeredthSalenger
112K Followers 2K Following Actress ~ Writer ~ Producer 💖 Podcast "Did You Get My Text?" Podcast link: https://t.co/NsYGANo6jx
Stern Show @sternshow
755K Followers 715 Following Listen to the Howard Stern Show on the @SiriusXM app ➡️ https://t.co/3Pt1ZnYZT4
Megan Gailey @megangailey
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Jason Kaplan 💤 @Siriusjay
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Jena Friedman @JenaFriedman
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NapaMan7862 @NapaMan7862
3K Followers 5K Following Single Gay Man Living the Dream in California 🏳️🌈 #VoteBlue 💙 #DogDad🐾 #DemocracyWarrior 🇺🇸
RunYouCleverBoyII @RJHart1214
83 Followers 490 Following The truth is it's... Spring 2024?! Try not to make mistakes. It's hard to get someone to change their mind as much as you might you want them to.
Suze a’Belle 💜�.. @SuzieKB4
241 Followers 3K Following Goddess in comfortable shoes. Strategic troublemaker. GCRadFem, Agent 70714. #SexMatters #TerfsWereRight
Jarred York @YorkJarred
98 Followers 2K Following UTK Grad with Master of Science Degree in Education! Bachelor Degree in History & Govt! Special Education Teacher at Scott County Alternative/Juvenile School!
Kelly Guzman @KellyGuzma55880
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LouiseJack @4xUmmy85c261INY
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C. Grove @CGrove12076625
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Richard Campbell @Richard68309051
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bc120 @bc120
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Donald Trump jr @trump_dona52590
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Tod Lloyd @todlloyd
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Shawn Allen @Shawnalln40
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Mike @bro06818129
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BigBlueWaveUSA® 🇺.. @BigBlueWaveUSA
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Dub @Dub7769
183 Followers 2K Following Humanity is failing a middle school level project to stay alive. We have to get it together!!⚖️❤️✊🏻✊🏽✊🏾🌈🌊
Ƙ🤦🏼♀️�.. @kris417
2K Followers 5K Following 💙Lifelong DEM, Book lover, unknown singer, news scavenger, mom to many, youngest has Autism & he’s amazing, Celiac sucks, the funny one 🥸
William Jackson @williamjac50742
145 Followers 621 Following Hii Guys I'm william jackson. plzz follow me on twitter. Crypto & Stock traders, Am here to take you another dimensionality of digital currency & Penny Stock
Heather Wlasiuk @TeamFREEPETE
346 Followers 699 Following I am me. Brutally honest, compassionate, loyal. Education is the key to growth. God is my composer! I ADVOCATE for wrongful convictions! #FREEPETE
Alexandra @AlexandraS2522
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bluedotinmo @podinthelou
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Raymond G Jones @rjones1326
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Bussy Eater @Davi89123Davis
586 Followers 7K Following Just here for some fun and a nut. I love Thick Bottoms with Juicy Bussy. I love to spoil Bottoms with good Bussy and I eat Bussy like Cookie Monster.
BeatBoulevard @boulevard_18922
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Galadriel Flowers @KTtheRelentless
1K Followers 6K Following “This might sound crazy, but hear me out..” #GME #DRS #FrodoLives #ApesTogetherStrong I ONLY HAVE ONE ACCOUNT Parody-Not affiliated with… anyone 😘🧝♀️🦋🌟
Brian Vander Vlies @BrianvVander
454 Followers 2K Following Heating and Cooling Expert with a heart.
Rochelle Halstead @Ro_hal17
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me @gmy9456
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Kenneth Rogers @primemovies4lif
872 Followers 6K Following KAR Productions a Broadcast & Media Production Suite Google IT Support Professional Certificate
Heath King @KingBeeRider1
86 Followers 88 Following Full-time daddy & husband. Wit & humor hide a big heart. Allergic to negativity & those who lack the capacity to reason & compromise for mutual gain..
Moscow Marge - Kremli.. @KKKlanMom
422 Followers 662 Following I'm torn between 2 lovers, feeling like a fool. Loving both of you is breaking all the rules. Trump & Putin make me drool. Traitor, Nazi. Bomb Planter & Idiot.
dennis lee @dennislee2930
36 Followers 177 Following
LyricLagoon @lyric18423
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Amanda @Amanda96467332
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RYL HRS ARTLLRY PRODC.. @R_H_A_ProdCO
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Dennis J Koch @ODennyBoy
34 Followers 392 Following Married to a Long Island girl, proud father of 2 college grads and phaithful Philly 4 for 4 sports phan!!
Louis Virtel @louisvirtel
164K Followers 1K Following #KeepIt on Crooked Media, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Wikipidiot
andy lassner @andylassner
442K Followers 2K Following Executive Producer - @JHudShow Previously @ellendegeneres show
Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA
352K Followers 1K Following I'm a triple threat; writer, photographer, arsonist
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharks
Judd Apatow 🇺🇦 @JuddApatow
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Fortune Feimster @FortuneFeimster
234K Followers 642 Following My new Netflix special ‘Good Fortune’ is now streaming 🔮 Come see me perform standup live on tour!
JD Harmeyer @jdharm
293K Followers 560 Following 1991-92 Black Lane Elementary Spelling Bee Champion
Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
295K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDS
Caissie @Caissie
68K Followers 7K Following TV Jokes! FORMER Letterman/Rosie/BWE w/@pftompkins/Watch What Happens Live! w/@Andy Cohen, Busy Tonight! YA novelist, author @debenham's girl. She/her
Meredith Salenger @MeredthSalenger
112K Followers 2K Following Actress ~ Writer ~ Producer 💖 Podcast "Did You Get My Text?" Podcast link: https://t.co/NsYGANo6jx
Stern Show @sternshow
755K Followers 715 Following Listen to the Howard Stern Show on the @SiriusXM app ➡️ https://t.co/3Pt1ZnYZT4
Ken Tremendous @KenTremendous
227K Followers 665 Following I'm here: https://t.co/0pPS0cAOOZ. This account will be dormant for a while due to Elon and Trump and the Nazis. Hope to see you all again someday.
Jason Kaplan 💤 @Siriusjay
122K Followers 1K Following Executive Producer - Howard Stern Show BBQ, Phish and Goose Enthusiast
Jena Friedman @JenaFriedman
65K Followers 695 Following Stand Up, Borat 2 writer, Daily Show alum, Late Show alum, creator of Soft Focus on Adult Swim and Indefensible on AMC Plus. Don’t quote me 🤡
lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
53K Followers 2K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. my brain is @deeppawghts on IG tiktok: @sbellelauren
Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie
37K Followers 5K Following Exec Director @NYHCampaign, VP Legislation NY National Organization for Women, LGBTQ nonprofit cofounder Bluesky: @darrigomelanie Threads & IG: @melanie_darrigo
Strike Force Five @StrikeForceFive
15K Followers 11 Following A podcast hosted by @StephenAtHome, @JimmyFallon, @JimmyKimmel, @SethMeyers & @IamJohnOliver. All proceeds go to support their out of work staffs.
John Burrows @JohnBurrowsCA
127K Followers 434 Following Passionate about California’s Central Valley & our Great Democracy • Fmr. Congressional Candidate • Still Fighting: @YouthSaveDem
Scott Manson @jsmanson
34K Followers 1K Following HYBE America, President of Business Solutions | Partner, Ithaca Holdings | COO, SB Projects
Writers Guild of Amer.. @WGAWest
98K Followers 2K Following A labor union representing writers of motion pictures, television, radio, and internet programming. (PS: we only have the blue check for the character count)
Lucas Kunce @LucasKunceMO
126K Followers 2K Following Marine vet, arms control negotiator, antitrust advocate, real populist | Learn about me and my race for U.S. Senate against Josh Hawley at https://t.co/kuONLHMQ83
Dewayne Willhoite @dawjr79
84 Followers 41 Following
Aaron Rupar @atrupar
899K Followers 3K Following journalist. sign up for my newsletter, Public Notice (link below). Powered by @SnapStream (more info: https://t.co/2oHPuuFBnN).
Rohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi
17K Followers 1K Following Bylines: @betches_sup @mcsweeneys @newyorker Finalist: @WBDAccess Comedic Voices. WGA Strong. Booking requests: [email protected]
Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski
900K Followers 2K Following Editor-in Chief https://t.co/HLS0hEHY1C, Co-host Uncovered, Attorney, Marine, Former Federal and State Prosecutor, Republican Party Insane Asylum Escapee
Jess Piper @piper4missouri
137K Followers 3K Following Executive Director, Blue Missouri. A rural mom fighting for rural schools. Dirt Road Democrat. Follow my work at: https://t.co/zSrCNbH2TC
The Good Liars @TheGoodLiars
603K Followers 228 Following @jasonselvig + @davramdavram - New podcast “The Good Liars Tell The Truth” is OUT NOW. Listen and subscribe👇
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Fast Politics Pod @FastPoliticsPod
18K Followers 2 Following @mollyjongfast unpacks the political headlines of the day every Monday // Wednesday// Friday on @iheartradio
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602 Followers 923 Following As a kid, I believed going to the movies was a sin. Now, I create film & “hellavision” 📺 😈 CEO/Founder of KINO
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Human Rights Campaign @HRC
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Molly Jong-Fast @MollyJongFast
1.1M Followers 7K Following subscribe to fast politics https://t.co/8oCGnjfIKm follow me on instagram https://t.co/bZreuBOHrV @vanityfair special correspondent & MSNBC
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bob saget @bobsaget
2.1M Followers 816 Following I like long walks on the beach...and then to be dragged through the sand by an off-road vehicle, and then hurled off a catapult.
Ali Drucker @ali_drucker
5K Followers 933 Following writer || you can buy my book about college + sex now || alexandra dot drucker at gmail dot com
Mary Connelly @MaryConnelly
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Sara Schaefer @saraschaefer1
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Geoff Edgers @geoffedgers
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Kim Quindlen @kimquindlen
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Bo Burnham @boburnham
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Garrett Williams, BFA @badboygargar
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Ben Marshall @notbenmarshall
125K Followers 1K Following please don't destroy and @nbcsnl // https://t.co/MQQ3RwJ2vo
Anna Drezen @annadrezen
58K Followers 1K Following PRAISE PETEY x SNL x GIRLS5EVA x MIRACLE WORKERS x LOOKING AT/THINKING ABOUT DOGS
John Lutz @ShutupLutz
33K Followers 430 Following I played Lutz on @nbc30rock. I currently play Lutz in real life and pretend to be a writer on @LateNightSeth.
Mark Rober @MarkRober
509K Followers 505 Following Former NASA and Apple engineer. Current YouTuber and friend of science. CrunchLabs founder- https://t.co/3UMhZ5kV9h
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
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Chris Redd @Reddsaidit
93K Followers 3K Following Comedian! Hit the link below for tickets, updates, ALL OF IT!!
Sarah Lyall @sarahlyall
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Kylie Brakeman @deadeyebrakeman
194K Followers 1K Following Comedian actor tv writer (Tonight Show, Kids Tonight Show) reps: WME, brillsteinFuuuuck this is great!
i can think of 1 instance where a rape joke is funny
New Deadpool & Wolverine trailer reminds me of the fateful day Ryan sauntered into my moose bone scrimshaw workshop & asked if I’d ever considered working in motion pictures!
Enjoyed running into @robdelaney at the 1956 Saskatchewan Men's Conference. #deadpool2
In fairness to our former President, many stable geniuses confuse me with Al Pacino....
A feeble and confused Trump posts an error-riddled rant falsely claiming that Jimmy Kimmel presented Best Picture (or, as he describes, “Picture of the Year”) at the Oscars
Melania Trump called me 3/28/2018 three days after the Stormy Daniels 60 Minute Interview. You think Melania ever mentioned Donald? Nope! Melania wanted me to know that, “Annie Leibovitz was photographing the ‘Porn-Hoooker’ {Stormy} for Vogue,” she said. That’s Melania.
@StormyDaniels When are y’all gonna learn not to come for Stormy, unless she sends for you? 👏🏿
@StormyDaniels I love how they like to go after Stormy for sleeping with Trump like she was by herself. She was not married he was. His wife was pregnant and he cheated. He is the disgrace. Stormy is a hero for speaking truth while he lied.
True! He was married to me and the achievement was our daughter
@StormyDaniels It’s crazy your greatest life achievement is fornication with a married man
You’re
My (vaxxed) Wife refuses to accept that I signed up for our dogsitter’s Onlyfans BY MISTAKE while trying to Venmo her for watching our dalmatians. I can’t stop crying. I would never
“He’s so f*cking stupid!” Robert De Niro rips into Donald Trump for three solid minutes, audience goes wild. (Video: ABC)
Thank you so much for coming to my child’s birthday party. As a symbol of my gratitude, here is a small bag of plastic crap I didn’t want to buy and you don’t want to take home.
@mollymcnearney My kid went to a party where the party favors were hermit crabs. Plastic crap is a slightly better option.
Hillary Clinton on Voters who are upset about the choices in November: “Get over yourselves…. One is old and effective and compassionate, has a heart and really cares about people, and one is old and has been charged with 91 felonies… I don’t understand why this is a hard…
heavenly father, forgive me. I’m trying, but I cannot save them all. The weight of these lost souls is breaking my back.
When you totally have the money
I built a Magnificent Business, which helped rebuild New York City and State, with Amazing, Unparalleled, Historic Properties and tons of CASH, which Crooked Joe Biden and his Maniac Persecutors are trying to wrongfully and illegally take from me. A bond of the size set by the…
We love the “Jimmy Kimmel” billboard we just did on the Pennsylvania Turnpike so much we’re gonna put it up again in Michigan and Wisconsin. Please chip in maddogpac.com/products/quick…
We’re starting with a billboard. Up this morning on the PA Turnpike 2 miles east of Morgantown.
"Isn't it past your jail time?" Groucho Marx could not have delivered a better retort. Jimmy Kimmel's line is worthy of posters,bumper stickers,crowd chants ,T shirts... Trump made a mistake attacking a comedian while live on stage . @jimmykimmel #jimmykimmel…
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