Mike LaRock @openmike
stand up comic | king of the 10-like tweet linktr.ee/mikelarock DC Joined July 2018-
Tweets773
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Followers2K
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Following2K
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Likes4K
dude I love my wife but I’m pretty sure 100 men (or more) could fuck me up lol
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did you know that mormon missionaries are not permitted to swim? true fact
oh, verizon wireless, you tease me with your silken tongue. how can I protest such sterling logical prowess?
pluto tv brings you the convenience of cable without the hassle of good quality programming
biblical times must have been sick I wish ‘wise man’ was still a viable career
if you want a truly immersive film experience, try watching Dune on a flight with no drink service.
reconnecting with a friend who moved to Nashville:
this is no way to speak of the late Gilbert Gottfried
Mike LaRock retweeted
I’m headlining at Blue Ridge Comedy Club in a Bristol TN tomorrow and Saturday! If you know anyone in the area send them out help me live the dream baby! blueridgecomedy.com
when you’re ten years old in 1900 and your family sends you off to work in the mines:
self-defense instructor would be a great job for somebody whose kink is getting beaten up by frightened women.
it’s 4/20, you know what that means: only 360 days til tax day.
This wordle sucks
Mike LaRock retweeted
“hey little sister, what have you done?!” — billy idol, upon finding her victims’ mangled corpses
if @JordanPeele directed this commercial:
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
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Dan Wickes @dan_wickes
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Criag @craigpsutton
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Ken Wood @The_Wood95
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Blake Hammond @BigRadMachine
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Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
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Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
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Orlando @OrlandoPcomedy
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coot @cooterhog
3K Followers 2K Following dog poster • personal attorney to marshall scott • none of the opinions expressed here are my own
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
Julia Rapp 💙 @jujujulife
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Audrey VerMeer @AudreyTwo
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Make money easily @VMhaQ3BYfua776
4 Followers 375 Following MEXC focuses on financial management, stocks, cryptocurrencies, digital assets and investments. Currently, new users can get free dollars when they sign up.
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nick griffin @thenickgriffin
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Neighborhood News Rad.. @NeighborhoodNe6
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Good Bad Whoreable Po.. @BadWhoreable
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𝕄𝕒𝕩𝕨𝕖�.. @SandwichGhoul
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MermotDulroney @shanefbomb
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ComedyPRbro @CRbrutha
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Big Joe @NwAries419
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~°^•:Wicked💀Fat.. @FortunatusL
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SovietHAPPY @SovietHAPPY
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Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
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Matthew Levy @MattLevy51
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Dan Wickes @dan_wickes
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gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
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Criag @craigpsutton
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Chris Alan (Sisyphus .. @ChrisAlanComedy
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Blake Hammond @BigRadMachine
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Raanan Hershberg @Raanancomedy
5K Followers 1K Following I'm raising 30K in 30 Days to Make a Movie! Donate at link 👇👇👇👇
Mr. Joshua’s Simond.. @JoshuaSimonSays
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Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
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Parliament Crunchadel.. @CrunchCardwell
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Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
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BaseGuffaw47 @AdrianRussell47
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The All American @DavidStandal
972 Followers 594 Following Comedian | Host | Fargo | Cellar Comedy Club | Tim & Dave Show | Alf | Radio Free Fargo KRFF | 701 | Davey & Rascal Show 95.9FM Tues 7am-9am |
This is like making me choose a favorite child.
@EatnPark Smiley Cookies vs. Primanti Brothers Sandwich (@primantibros)
I’d be in a life or death situation saying shit like “gadzooks!”
Dead Dad Club can make people uncomfortable
Jim Morrison goes to Spain to ask around about the lizards there and the doors just keep getting slammed in his face until one nice herpetologist finally asks him how it's going and Jim says "My only friend, bien."
nobody talks about the wario land to ayn rand pipeline
@openmike I develop half my jokes, which are terrible haha, off a therapy session
starting a petition to replace the national anthem with “centerfield” by John Fogerty
@mattwritesbooks All jokes aside. How sick was lockdown traffic? My 45 min commute was like 35 min. Lock it down!
@mattwritesbooks Get this guy back on the Peleton
@mattwritesbooks It was a great era of Shatt episodes
@mattwritesbooks Biden sending out $1,750 and a pint of the Hen
@mattwritesbooks I never stopped locking down. Not for Covid reasons. Mostly for antisocial reasons.
Yesterday we were so excited about @NotSteveRogers we didn’t share the two page spread in the Vail Daily newspaper about the festival! You can read it online here - vaildaily.com/entertainment/… Get festival passes at vailcomedyfestival.com #comedyfestivals #comedyfestival
After all these seasons watching Better Call Saul, I’m not going to have an excuse not to finally see Breaking Bad.
after my funeral i want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone "thanks for coming"
Aborted babies looking down from Heaven.
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