chase @_chase_____
girl writer | editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys @theonion | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | @mckayleygourley.bsky.social | she/her mckayleygourley.com nyc Joined December 2019-
Tweets7K
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Followers14K
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Following1K
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Likes32K
11:45-12:15 is shorter than 11:30-12. this is basic time math
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i fish for compliments by saying the compliment i want to hear then asking the person to repeat it back to me
chase retweeted
‘Yeah, I’m Into Cars,’ Says Woman Who Can Identify a Honda and a Toyota and That’s It: ow.ly/VH4y50WMnO6
feeling down. need to watch a video of a dog jumping into its owners arms after doing an agility course
peek a boo is scary for babies bc they think they can finally have a minute to themselves but then u keep coming back
i want a raise but i want them to give it to me in $40 increments whenever i could really use $40
“pathetic” i mutter to no one about nothing in particular
this is what we in show business call getting attacked by ur tiger mid-show and subsequently dying from ur injuries. there rly isn’t any other way to put it
“would u like to take a look at our dessert menu?” oh no thank u we’re just going to grab 40 mints from the hostess stand on our way out :) and a toothpick and a business card
ppl who fall in love with ai should just get a raven. they also talk to u plus u get the bonus of having an ominous “guy w a raven” vibe. even better would be two ravens. one good one evil. and both of them have significant influence over you. but im getting ahead of myself
having adhd is all about taking one big task and breaking it down into 12 smaller, more manageable tasks and then getting overwhelmed bc of all the tasks you have to do
this is also what i call my beautiful wife <3
this is also what i call my beautiful wife <3
what do i do for work? scams mostly. sometimes dupes. i actually went to school for intimidation but found manipulation to be more my speed. minored in deception w a focus on old ppl. interned at one of the big 4 trickery firms. learned a TON abt preying on ppl’s fears
um yeah my cat’s my best friend ? he’s also my accountant, my primary care physician, my realtor, my grad school advisor, and my work wife. he is my dad
i used to go out to my backyard when i was little & control the wind for a little. breezes, gusts, etc. nothing rly crazy. some of u probably don’t believe me but pretty much i was a minor god of wind from ages 8-9
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3K Followers 6K Following America 1st🇺🇸 ❤️ AWAKEN1*patriot,Trump#2024,art,believes in God,Law& Order2genders/Free thinker,Question Everything,Constitutional Republic, LibertyorDeath!!!
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175 Followers 931 Following 50% Taylor Swift stan account ...ok 80% Taylor Swift stan account. putting on my party shoes for vocals.
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🅿️en 🅱️inko... @benpinko
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[email protected]... @bb_apes
29K Followers 1K Following I'd rather be controversial than boring. ☼♉︎ ☽♊︎ ↑♒︎ she/her✨ 🍑: https://t.co/KTLIAORiOi. $100 DM fee on cashapp $bbapes. 💝: https://t.co/62hOm8EB7Y
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
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kevin @Ke7inBurke
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Destiny Allegedly �... @DestinyHarHar
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Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
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seynique @seynique
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meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith
19K Followers 2K Following too tired to pee, too full of piss to sleep. staff writer @lifehacker. headline contributor @TheOnion @reductress.
Too Much Context Fred... @OrangeFreddyG
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Sarah @itssarahdutcher
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dev @devvvrobot
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someone’s mom @bustelo4babies
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AndieIsOnline @AndieIsOnline
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Inside The Newsroom @InsideNewsroom_
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Internet Person™⭐... @TimHerrera
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Chrissy Shackelford @ChrissySh
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