Subscribe to unlock Teague 🐗 BLM @smteague
Michigander, @umich alum, @unioncomedy founder I love a Dachshund named Linus and a planet named Earth. Mostly little gripes. she/her 🌹 Massachusetts, USA Joined August 2008-
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Followers760
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Breaking: U.S. military airlifting emergency lozenge to President Biden. #SOTU2024
I told the ceo of DuPont ‘tear down that wall’ and all 183 ceos nodded
Kamala’s got a real clapping robot vibe tonight.
The same state of Alabama which just executed Kenneth Smith via nitrogen gas asphyxiation would like you to know that frozen embryos are “children” because as per the Bible, human life cannot be destroyed without incurring the wrath of a Holy God.
How we talked about the dog when his autoimmune disease flared.
How we talked about the dog when his autoimmune disease flared.
I love how everyone is like oh yeah it’s a “cyber attack”. It’s gonna be realllly tough for grandpas to get us behind whatever (other) war they’re doing.
Laying in bed, listening to see if I hear the Lifeflights from Lewiston flying down to Boston. What have we become.
I accidentally signed up for Instacart Plus after I couldn’t figure out how to cancel my trial and figured I hadn’t signed up after all. Now I just lay in bed and go…hmmm maybe I need snacks from Walgreens, don’t mind if I do. Best accident ever.
Forgive me Father for I have sinned, I’ve listened to three John Mayers.
Hello, are ppl still using Twitter? Can I come back?
You know how all through human history children have played together in huge groups, in neighborhoods, in the street, etc? I know it’s Reagan’s fault but why have we lost that?
Hello, how do I boycott American please? But also live and eat?
What is it called when your society keeps trying to make movements by saying WE’RE FED UP, and we DEMAND action but then nothing happens so you just stop feeling? What’s the word for that?
All I want for Mother’s Day is a lot of socks.
There should be a monthly subscription club for people with a dog that eats their underwear.
So there’s a bill in SC proposing women be executed for having an abortion? And we aren’t in the streets. Are they putting something in the water? Has our society just become so disjointed that we’re all complacent? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!!
I think maybe I just won’t send my kids to school cuz
Twitter doesn’t work anymore and I don’t have a lot of time so is Trump in trouble or what? Please advise.
the federalist stinks.. @rajandelman
15K Followers 8K Following Comedy. Producer of @2mbstudios. Old words in @reductress. Instructor at @improvboston. See me at @unioncomedyWhacktose Intolerant @MillyTamarez
12K Followers 2K Following Comedian, writer on @datinggameabc, host of @betches_sup pod, @waitwait contributor, creator of: @flexxmag & @dafcomedyfest https://t.co/h0v9b9xzI3Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.Big Took @TookyMonster
2K Followers 2K Following Hi I'm Tooky (rhymes with cookie). I am a potato, I'm a hilarious stand-up comic, and you love me.❤️Anthony Zonfrelli @azonfrelli
2K Followers 3K Following Screenwriter seeking reps | Coverfly Top 1% | Top 50 Roadmap & LaunchPad | ImprovBoston | Sports Illustrated, Deadspin | Harvard | 🐈⬛dad | 🤼♂️ | he/him🦂Scorpi-Chlo🦂 @Chloj23
630 Followers 2K Following Personal Trainer. Improviser. Idiot. Voice of Beck on @truetalesteam. She/Her, ADHDandrew barlow @sirbizlow
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2K Followers 5K Following “A professional comedian” - MIT. Writer & Performer. Seen in @mcsweeneys @TheOnion @TMZLive #PreWGA #Teamster #RecoveringGleek (He/Him)Frank Garcia-Hejl @frankgarciahejl
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620 Followers 707 Following Food Wizard, Comedy goblin. Husband of @megglekins. Questing at @adventureincpod. Improv at @unioncomedy He/him.JTLMusicals @JTLMusicals
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7K Followers 7K Following social: @switchedonpop @plex @theankler prev: social for 🦚, @20korg. comedy writing @funnyordie++, other writing @shoptoday++, Obie, memestresslana schwartz @_lanabelle
7K Followers 2K Following writer bitch/freelancer/@newyorker, @theonion, @realpunknews + more/the book BUILD YOUR OWN ROMANTIC COMEDY/i think that my horse is regular sized (she/her)Chandler Dean @chandlerjdean
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608 Followers 2K Following Doctor, possible real Muppet, Lego enthusiast, Banjo Kazooie player, and friend! Seen regularly on 2MB Studios on Twitch!Zeese @ZeeseGZHzat
1 Followers 277 FollowingDeborah 😈 @Deborah4728
7 Followers 568 Following Desirous enсhantress cаptivated by insаtiаble desireThasheau @Thasheau195732
17 Followers 124 FollowingTeyseslee @teyseslee12424
6 Followers 221 Following 我是汽車貿易商,專營各大廠牌汽車進口,每輛車都擁有美國當地第三方認證證書,嚴謹把關品質、出港船運、進港報關、專業車測領牌皆一手包辦,一條龍的服務可以替您簡省許多成本Agatha 😳 @Agatha__L44
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100 Followers 2K Followingmillioner @TwitMillioner
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748 Followers 610 Following FST Improv provides laughs to every nook and cranny of Sarasota and beyond. Every show is unexpected and made up on the spot. #FSTImprovAri’s Burner Accoun.. @tonypizzajunior
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30K Followers 11K Following Director of the top public U.S. #COVID forecasting dashboard (PMC). #HealthPsych PhD Program Director, #CovidCancer scientist, over 100 science publications.Amina Ahmed @okayokayasa
1K Followers 5K Following The people of Palestine lived 74 years of poverty, misery and deprivation, be with them and strengthen their steadfastnessJustMe @just_me_gi@ma.. @Just_Me_Gi
872 Followers 5K Following @[email protected] #Academicish #Catholic #Disabled #Immigrant #FeministKilljoy #Spoonie #Writer #BlackLivesMatter #landback #AbolishICE #DefundPoliceDon Winslow @donwinslow
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319 Followers 3K Following Humanizing Educator, Parentscholar, Spangler Distinguished Professor of Early Childhood Literacy at AppState. Tweets are mine & not endorsementsJohn Hardy @Johnhardycomedy
171 Followers 1K Following Stand-up / MC / Improviser / Sketch Comic / Quiz Host “Scared of Apple Cores”Holly Bullis @bullis_holly
37 Followers 315 Following Emotional Support Human, Author @queenmobs @writingclassradio Host of @fdtalksfinance with my awesome dad!William pual @Williampual12
5 Followers 72 Following am taking care of poor orphan children, street kids and vulnerable families am requesting friends and families to come and join me for supporting them 🙏🙏Kelly McAllister @rkmcallister
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3K Followers 4K Following A community sheltering from the pandemic. A community that minimizes risk. Join us.OverEducated 💙 �.. @EArthurMobile
265 Followers 617 Following Bears Beets Birds Books Bodily AutonomyChandra Wu @chandrawu
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776 Followers 1K Following Singer-Songwriter, Eternally optimistic as America moves towards keeping her promises. FatBoy deserves the harshest Penalty #bluecrew #resist🇺🇸💙Penzlady�.. @penzlady77
785 Followers 2K Following Retired Boomer; Arts advocate; World traveler; Open-minded & Curious. Standing up for justice, humanity, the USA, and the rights of the Sisterhood! 💙#BRINGCHANELHOME @JohnBrownsBody2
5K Followers 5K Following The views espoused here do not represent those of my employer. ☭ ML. he/him #FreePalestineSustainable Zone - Ec.. @SustainableZon3
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1K Followers 2K Following HR Director, @TheCityofLynn. @massdems State Committee. @saintmichaels @jvcnation @reptierney @lynnmuseum alum. @ClarkUniversity MPA 2023. Tweets are my own.We can have a society.. @TimOnTheTractor
32K Followers 29K Following #Rockclimbing, #mountainbiking, #plantbased, #M4A ☮️Lori Taylor @loritaylor
262 Followers 1K Following Aspiring advocate. Mom of two. Fan of the Chicago Cubs, the NIU Huskies and the Crimson Tide. Advertising, PR and Comms gal.Eric Lessard @Lessard_Eric
970 Followers 2K Following Salesforce Commerce Cloud / Director Product Marketing; Tweet about tech, sports, travel, global commentary, and family!anxious octopus 🐙 @uneasy_octopus
122 Followers 757 Following the dopamine must flow. the venom distribution is optional, that is my choice. i'm the new sailor socialism don't ask me what happened to the last oneeee_eff is on Mastodo.. @eee_eff
2K Followers 5K Following Architect, urbanist, free software & open data advocate. Math, reading, swimming, cycling & chess. Known to go months without seeing the inside of a car.the federalist stinks.. @rajandelman
15K Followers 8K Following Comedy. Producer of @2mbstudios. Old words in @reductress. Instructor at @improvboston. See me at @unioncomedyWhacktose Intolerant @MillyTamarez
12K Followers 2K Following Comedian, writer on @datinggameabc, host of @betches_sup pod, @waitwait contributor, creator of: @flexxmag & @dafcomedyfest https://t.co/h0v9b9xzI3Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.Big Took @TookyMonster
2K Followers 2K Following Hi I'm Tooky (rhymes with cookie). I am a potato, I'm a hilarious stand-up comic, and you love me.❤️Anthony Zonfrelli @azonfrelli
2K Followers 3K Following Screenwriter seeking reps | Coverfly Top 1% | Top 50 Roadmap & LaunchPad | ImprovBoston | Sports Illustrated, Deadspin | Harvard | 🐈⬛dad | 🤼♂️ | he/him🦂Scorpi-Chlo🦂 @Chloj23
630 Followers 2K Following Personal Trainer. Improviser. Idiot. Voice of Beck on @truetalesteam. She/Her, ADHDandrew barlow @sirbizlow
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620 Followers 707 Following Food Wizard, Comedy goblin. Husband of @megglekins. Questing at @adventureincpod. Improv at @unioncomedy He/him.JTLMusicals @JTLMusicals
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180K Followers 742 Following you can watch my new special Hell out on Peacock nowNicole Byer aka peppa.. @nicolebyer
382K Followers 1K Following See me live? Buy my merch?👇🏾click da link Nailed It & Comedians of the World on Netflix listen to my podcasts Why Won’t You Date Me? 90 Day Bae & Best FriendsAbby Barr @1AbbyRoad
7K Followers 7K Following social: @switchedonpop @plex @theankler prev: social for 🦚, @20korg. comedy writing @funnyordie++, other writing @shoptoday++, Obie, memestressSlow Release Glorilis @YoGlo_
2K Followers 639 Following Very mature. Virgo. Hall and Oates Stan. she/herlana schwartz @_lanabelle
7K Followers 2K Following writer bitch/freelancer/@newyorker, @theonion, @realpunknews + more/the book BUILD YOUR OWN ROMANTIC COMEDY/i think that my horse is regular sized (she/her)Chandler Dean @chandlerjdean
4K Followers 997 Following Comedian & Speechwriter / @WestWingWriters / Satire @newyorker @mcsweeneys @reductress / Performer @ucbtny @CaveatNYC / Prev: @harddrivemag, Lovett or Leave Itlimp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]KC Davis @KCDavisSays
9K Followers 34 Following Author of How to Keep House While Drowning, host of the Struggle Care Podcast, domesticblisters on tiktok. Get the book at https://t.co/cCOOijiJwiFST Improv @FSTImprov
748 Followers 610 Following FST Improv provides laughs to every nook and cranny of Sarasota and beyond. Every show is unexpected and made up on the spot. #FSTImprovAri’s Burner Accoun.. @tonypizzajunior
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83K Followers 2K Following Philips Hue brings smart lighting to everyday homes. With our lights, sensors and switches, you can make your house the brightest home on the block💡SelfHealers Circle @selfhealerscirc
42K Followers 4 Following We make the practical tools of healing accessible to everyone📍20k + members 👇ENROLLMENT OPENUM Judaic Studies @UMJudaicStudies
1K Followers 165 Following Explore the riches of Judaic Studies at U-M! Tweets and articles do not necessarily represent the opinions of the Frankel Center or the University of Michigan.President Santa J. On.. @UMichPrezOno
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44K Followers 29K Following Blackfoot. I mainly retweet for causes I believe in and things I find funny. No, I’m not on Facebook.Just Stop Oil @JustStop_Oil
156K Followers 831 Following Demanding: ➡️ All oil, gas and coal licences issued since 2021 are revoked. ➡️ Gov plan to end fossil fuel use by 2030. 🤝 Part of the A22 NetworkEarth Hero @EarthHeroOrg
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1.4M Followers 761 Following Executive Producer @TheWeekendMSNBC. Opinions mine. Do not congratulate. THREADS @griffinkyleNew York Communities .. @nychange
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4K Followers 22 FollowingConservative Self-Own.. @ConSelfOwns
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501 Followers 3K Following Friend, partner, mother, student, teacher, quilter, reader, cook, gamer, dancer and child of some extraordinary teachers.Is There A Packet @IsThereAPacket
223 Followers 144 Following Everyone loves to vague-tweet, but I love a packet | DMs open, brain empty, good luck out there | @jason_sweeten runs this until he gets boredCovid19 @friendlycovid19
22K Followers 1K Following Expert at crappy replication error repair. Pronouns it/its. Bluesky: https://t.co/Mz6GbJxc7YLoud Abby @loud_abby
228 Followers 704 Following She/Her. The other LA. All opinions on this account are bad. I think I’m funny. https://t.co/d14SH0LUvtProf. Jose-Luis Jimen.. @jljcolorado
102K Followers 619 Following Dist. Prof. Univ. Colorado. #HighlyCited2023, Fellow AAAR & AGU. https://t.co/bba7YQLccv https://t.co/KutdZGqwmb Aerosols, pollution #EndFossilFuels #COVIDisAirborneDana Parish @danaparish
37K Followers 4K Following Bestselling Author: “CHRONIC" / SONY songwriter/ Podcaster/ NYC/ @BayAreaLyme board/ N95s/ TREAT EARLY/ END GoF / anti-virus/ think 4 yourself/ @BiosafetyNowNyombi Morris @mnyomb1
16K Followers 805 Following Climate Activist🇺🇬ll Founder: @earthvrs 📝✍️Researcher ll Speaker ll Migrant ll Radical🎃⭕️📩[email protected] Il iAm on #Linkedln. NOT me BUT usWe can have a society.. @TimOnTheTractor
32K Followers 29K Following #Rockclimbing, #mountainbiking, #plantbased, #M4A ☮️anxious octopus 🐙 @uneasy_octopus
122 Followers 757 Following the dopamine must flow. the venom distribution is optional, that is my choice. i'm the new sailor socialism don't ask me what happened to the last oneBoston Globe Pitchbot @BostonSatire
9K Followers 233 Following Having a laugh about everything wrong with the shining city on a hill | Parody account, not affiliated with The Boston Globe | For the peopleA SLICE OF HISTORY @asIiceofhistory
343K Followers 10K Following The more you learn the more you realize how little you know🌻H0W_THlNGS_W0RK @HowThingsWork_
2.1M Followers 8K Following The Official How Things Work page. Tech,AI,Art,Science & loads more. Also all the best news & viral content from around the globe.Extinction Symbol @extinctsymbol
68K Followers 31K Following This symbol represents the extinction crisis. Create it everywhere to raise awareness of the rapidly accelerating collapse of global biodiversity.Protect Our Kids Now @protectkidznow
789 Followers 2K Following I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. -Angela Davis #ImmunizeUnder5s #EndGunViolenceHow Things Are Manufa.. @fastworkers6
877K Followers 10K Following This is official Twitter account for How Things Are Manufactured. Stay with usdepths of wikipedia @depthsofwiki
888K Followers 4K Following Hello I am @anniierau Please take away my blue check! I did not ask for it!Pierre Gregoire @PierreGlibrary
2K Followers 4K Following Public library director, retired. Story teaches us about ourselves and the world. BLM, LGBTQ, Socialism/Anarchism, Science @[email protected]Mike Pozar @poach187
303 Followers 138 Following Husband and father/stepfather of 5. 14 years as a Software Engineer / Manager at MSFT + Indeed; now a stay-at-home dad and wannabe disc golfer.Biden: “The pandemic no longer controls our lives.” This statement ignores millions of people who are suffering from Long COVID but have no treatment, and millions of higher risk people who are locked out of society due to lack of basic public health protections. #SOTU
When you and the guy you hate from HR are the only ones early to the Zoom call
Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.
when she saw him and he saw her.
Breaking: U.S. military airlifting emergency lozenge to President Biden. #SOTU2024
You’re telling me this isn’t an episode of Veep? #SOTU2024
When your face comes up on the Jumbotron
Watching the State of the Union... it's lowkey the largest gathering of senior citizens in the country.
They definitely gave Biden one of those Panera Lemonades
The State Of The Union is we have record homelessness while our tax dollars are funding a genocide. #StateOfTheUnion
There is nothing weirder and more disappointing for someone in their 20’s to see than a room full of powerful geriatrics chanting 4 more years at a rotting corpse that you have no option to vote against without voting for another rotting corpse with schizophrenia #StateOfTheUnion
You know what I can freeze for years? An embryo. You know what I CANNOT freeze for years? A. BABY. What are we even doing here? #AlabamaSupremeCourt
having a joyous time at my desk listening to the "i miss emo" playlist on apple music.
A squirrel used this telephone pole for Storage,
@AZTVChick Someone let a windows update start on the att mainframe
The same state of Alabama which just executed Kenneth Smith via nitrogen gas asphyxiation would like you to know that frozen embryos are “children” because as per the Bible, human life cannot be destroyed without incurring the wrath of a Holy God.