Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

owner of a cursed lexus Joined January 2014

Tweets

4K
Followers

66
Following

162
Likes

2K

Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

3 years ago

Holy muscle imbalance

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

4 years ago

Chef Tortuga in the house

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

4 years ago

Crazy how low the bar is set for people working for me stocking shelves, crazier how they can’t manage to even reach the bar of showing up for their shifts

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

4 years ago

I ain’t stopping till I look like a fucking gorilla

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

4 years ago

Do y’all sell a charger that fits a Lexus here

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

4 years ago

I don’t understand or like vests

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

It’s FUCKIN RAW

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Nap time

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

I fucking love being overlooked at every opportunity I’ve ever had hahahahaha

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Today might be the day I end up with just a mustache

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Got my stimmy and my paycheck this morning and accidentally purchased a new grille for my truck??

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Accidentally drove the Lexus and re-fell in love with it

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

There’s no point in not being the best

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Got a “man you’re strong as hell remind me not to piss you off” from a customer today when I hoisted a keg into his truck by myself hahaha

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

27 hours in 2 days, going for 40 by the time I clock out tomorrow. Should be ez enough

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Feelin mighty strange today

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

I’m tired grandpa :(

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

STANLEY MOTHERFUCKING YELNATS

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

Yeah he drives a dodge Ford ram

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Chef Tortuga @thin_crispy

5 years ago

If I get stoned and sing all night long it’s a

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