Dave @thirdbestdave

Formally Tired_Dad_of_2. Still all of those things. Back after a 2 year hiatus. Learned nothing in that time. x.com/search?f=tweet… Massachusetts, USA Joined July 2018

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Dave @thirdbestdave

3 months ago

Not to brag but my nephew just told me the pancakes I made were “actually pretty good”.

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Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom

3 months ago

How about a car with a clean button, like an oven.

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Dave @thirdbestdave

3 months ago

My main hobby at this point of my life is taking screenshots of cocktail recipes that I’m never going to make.

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Dave @thirdbestdave

3 months ago

After a 2-year hiatus, I’m changing my Tired_Dad_of_2 name and coming back to Twitter. I will be just mediocre as ever. Most likely worse. Definitely worse.

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Sarah Turner @TheUnmumsyMum

2 years ago

In honour of my husband’s 40th birthday today, here’s the greatest parenting photo of all time #blessed

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Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues

2 years ago

We’re just started on a 6 hour drive and the boys simultaneously jinxed each other. They won’t talk until I say their names and they’re silently mouthing things at each other. I just won the traveling with kids lottery.

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Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78

3 years ago

Everything everywhere all at once is exactly how I’d describe life with kids.

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threetimedaddy @threetimedaddy

3 years ago

I challenge you to find a card as accurate as this

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Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues

3 years ago

My 6 year old doesn’t like the stick part of the fun dip and I just don’t know where I went wrong as a parent.

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threetimedaddy @threetimedaddy

3 years ago

One thing I’ve never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kid’s sock in my coat pocket. Just one.

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Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues

3 years ago

My niece was sheltering in her dorm last night at MSU, listening to screams and gunshots. She was terrified and our family was helpless as she texted us updates. This should not be the norm. It should not be so unsurprising. We are screwed up and our children are paying for it.

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threetimedaddy @threetimedaddy

3 years ago

According to my 5 year old, a hot dog without the bread is just called a dog. Not a sausage - a dog. Apparently he told his school class he ate dog for dinner last night and it tasted amazing

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Dave @thirdbestdave

3 years ago

Welp, today is the last day that I know peace. The last day I hear the birds sing their lovely tune and the sky smiles her decadent shade of blue. Tomorrow the devil rains his fire upon me. Tomorrow, my 8 year old gets her recorder….

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Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal

3 years ago

LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!!

Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal

3 years ago

LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!! https://t.co/fuArmAA04N

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Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal

3 years ago

My 22 year old cousin met his dream girl at a bar and it's going pretty well

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Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues

3 years ago

Me: We’re still hip aren’t we? Hubs: I found my favorite screwdriver! Me: Hubs: Did you ask me something? Me: Never mind, I figured it out.

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Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues

3 years ago

If you’re wondering if kids are dramatic just know that 5, after being told he couldn’t have a popsicle after breakfast, just told me, “fine, then I’m never eating again…and if I don’t eat I’ll die!”