Will Schreiner @Beeshrine
Pittsburgh Comedian and Video Connoisseur. Technically a paid professional. Still waiting for Vine to come back. vm.tiktok.com/ZMdQ7r3S9/ Pittsburgh, PA Joined September 2015-
Tweets8K
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Followers3K
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Following2K
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Likes29K
The monsters I fear are the ones in the 2 hour zoom training who click the heart reaction at the end of every slide
This what I call it when I make pizza and sprinkle pop rocks over the cheese
This what I call it when I make pizza and sprinkle pop rocks over the cheese
how my cat looks at me when i start giving the other cat attention but he’s only gotten three hours of cuddles today
Blasphemous is relative to who you’re praying to
Blasphemous is relative to who you’re praying to
I’ve gone places for love that no hot girl should ever go (mens’ restroom)
I’ve gone places for love that no hot girl should ever go (mens’ restroom)
A homeless person came up to me and asked me for my sandwich that I bought for lunch. I said no. A swarm of hornets came up to me and simply took it. They did not care that I said no. Decriminalize homelessness Criminalize hornets
Somebody explain checkovs gun to my brain because most of the characters in my dreams last night were completely unnecessary to the story and didn’t even appear in the second act
If you’re stopping can you get me an order of fries? Ask for a large. They’ll know what you mean.
The only reason I haven’t quit this app yet is because Oscar Meyer still follows me and I don’t want to let them down. If you see me rebrand strictly to weiner related humor it’s because I FINALLY MADE IT
Why the hell was that scene with the dogs so LOUD. My tv doesn’t have a volume low enough besides “mute”
Why the hell was that scene with the dogs so LOUD. My tv doesn’t have a volume low enough besides “mute”
I was going to clean the fridge. I had plans to clean the fridge. Then my gf got around to it before I announced the date I would’ve done it. This is procrastinator 101 behavior
I was going to clean the fridge. I had plans to clean the fridge. Then my gf got around to it before I announced the date I would’ve done it. This is procrastinator 101 behavior
I am 2 missed paychecks away from becoming homeless unless I move to Ohio. Then I’ll be 4 missed paychecks away.
If you’re away from your home toilet then it’s not really a vacation, is it?
Comedians will put “mature audiences only” on a show poster and then talk about online dating and pretend to have sex with a stool
Being a cat owner is 50% telling your cat not to eat plastic, and 50% cleaning up cat vomit with plastic bits in it
Skipping rocks is the most fun a boy can have without taking off his clothes
charles entertainment.. @jmurffff
19K Followers 1K Following
Destiny Allegedly @DestinyHarHar
4K Followers 2K Following 28 she/her. Publicly unhinged for eternity ♉️☀️♌️🌙♊️⬆️
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa
27K Followers 869 Following i’m cassidy kulhanek i’m a comedian and my dad is very proud of me!
Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
5K Followers 1K Following certified california junior ranger (she/her). stupid sense of humor but interesting takes. Frodo Baggins stan account. tip jar open IG @itssarahdutcher
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
[email protected].. @bb_apes
26K Followers 1K Following I'd rather be controversial than boring. ☼♉︎ ☽♊︎ ↑♒︎ she/her✨ https://t.co/62hOm8EB7Y $100 DM fee $bbapes
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
9K Followers 4K Following Never gonna have a blue check, always gonna be real. Standup Comic and Leftist. 45 million views on Social Media. History Pod⬇️
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
4K Followers 4K Following a half-sour pickle | *ctor, vo artist and comedy writer | contributor @realpunknews @harddrivemag @bwaybeatnews
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
11K Followers 3K Following Begakis is fun to say. historian of capitalism finance & Disney. Ph.D. Candidate @Cornell | @UCBerkeley alumni. the opinions & jokes expressed are my own NFTs.
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
Julia Rapp 💙 @jujujulife
3K Followers 2K Following poet laureate of cashew milk | songwriter | weirdo | she & her | MFA Poetry @smcmfa
Kevin Burke @Ke7inBurke
5K Followers 1K Following hey! | headline contributor @theonion @reductress @bwaybeatnews | he/him
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
Julio Roloson @RolosoJul
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AthenaBetty @122WtH8BAuOdUM
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Josefine Santio @JosefineSa77234
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Lynda @shadwicklynda82
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Opal Drain @dra_o
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Tabitha Larrison @LarrisTabi
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Will Hacker @KimJongWillFF
565 Followers 1K Following PGH-VA-DC-SD 🌎 Scout Team MVP ______________🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
FELLAdvocate 🇺🇦.. @felladvocate
2K Followers 7K Following Good evening. I'm from Ukraine. Advocate, lawyer. #NAFO #Fella. ⚡Law. Beer. Rock n roll.⚡
Robyn Sanabria @RobSanabr
67 Followers 5K Following
Tricia Crimmins @TriciaCrimmins
170 Followers 910 Following @dailydot senior reporter covering politics, identity, and the 2024 election + @columbiajourn alum ✍️ for @mashable @momentmagazine @complex
Smesha @Smesha144034
34 Followers 2K Following
Dengqihong0627 @dengqihong6327
258 Followers 2K Following DCLKO Small Wallet for Women RFID Blocking Genuine Leather Wallets Mini Bifold Purse (Red)
Jerry’s Humor @jerryshumor
127 Followers 1K Following Tickling myself while I chew gum & stumble thru my befuddlement, all on the head of a very unstable pin of buffoonery! #jerryshumor #humor #humorinmylife #jokes
Melonie @Melonie678603
118 Followers 3K Following
Trish Smart @TrishSmartass
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Amis Mulyadi @AmisMulyadi
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xxx🇵🇦 @C91524902Manuel
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Alicia Burton @AliciaBurt85302
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Amna Khalid @amnakhalid3635
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Letisha Dezayas @LDezayas33523
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Farley Burge @BookFarleyNow
455 Followers 1K Following Hey, I'm Farley, a stand-up comedian, actor, dog lover and walker, and joke writer. Come on, let's laugh at each other and ourselves.
Alice @Alice1052088497
12 Followers 110 Following I find my life to be a generous tapestry, woven with experiences and stories waiting to be shared. Yet, in this vast and colorful journey, what I truly crave is
Outpost42 @Outpost421
895 Followers 1K Following The voices may not be real, but they do have some good ideas. Enemy of Jerry. Powered by coffee and Mountain Dew. DEVO fan. @[email protected]
Paul You Need is Love @PabloLuapoPaul
606 Followers 1K Following According to my neighbor's journal, he doesn't trust me
Page Getz @getz_page57149
295 Followers 847 Following Author | A TOWN WITH HALF THE LIGHTS ON @Sourcebooks Coming Spring '25 Repped by: @JenissaMichelle | MFA '23 @ubccrwr
Jonnie @armendariz_jonn
124 Followers 3K Following
Will Schreiner, Profe.. @beeshrinebf
1 Followers 4 Following
CHRIS B!! @Chrisblaugh
27 Followers 132 Following
Rosalie Kryston @KrystonRos44869
91 Followers 5K Following
Buba Jarju @BubaJarju2_47
191 Followers 5K Following
Dave @Caymandave9999
280 Followers 939 Following
Sharon @sharonwebster69
154 Followers 3K Following
littbihh @littybihh444
3 Followers 31 Following
charles entertainment.. @jmurffff
19K Followers 1K Following
Destiny Allegedly @DestinyHarHar
4K Followers 2K Following 28 she/her. Publicly unhinged for eternity ♉️☀️♌️🌙♊️⬆️
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa
27K Followers 869 Following i’m cassidy kulhanek i’m a comedian and my dad is very proud of me!
Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
5K Followers 1K Following certified california junior ranger (she/her). stupid sense of humor but interesting takes. Frodo Baggins stan account. tip jar open IG @itssarahdutcher
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
[email protected].. @bb_apes
26K Followers 1K Following I'd rather be controversial than boring. ☼♉︎ ☽♊︎ ↑♒︎ she/her✨ https://t.co/62hOm8EB7Y $100 DM fee $bbapes
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
9K Followers 4K Following Never gonna have a blue check, always gonna be real. Standup Comic and Leftist. 45 million views on Social Media. History Pod⬇️
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
4K Followers 4K Following a half-sour pickle | *ctor, vo artist and comedy writer | contributor @realpunknews @harddrivemag @bwaybeatnews
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
11K Followers 3K Following Begakis is fun to say. historian of capitalism finance & Disney. Ph.D. Candidate @Cornell | @UCBerkeley alumni. the opinions & jokes expressed are my own NFTs.
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
Julia Rapp 💙 @jujujulife
3K Followers 2K Following poet laureate of cashew milk | songwriter | weirdo | she & her | MFA Poetry @smcmfa
Kevin Burke @Ke7inBurke
5K Followers 1K Following hey! | headline contributor @theonion @reductress @bwaybeatnews | he/him
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
Trish Smart @TrishSmartass
1K Followers 300 Following Comic/Artist/Vagabond/funnest btch at the funeral
Chrissy bb @Spawn_of_sal
4K Followers 163 Following Carebear x succubus ♏️ MS warrior || trigeminal neuralgia baddie || dead dad club || chest as heavy as my trauma🤝$20 DM fee || content queen 👑 $chcc1123
blaire erskine @blaireerskine
409K Followers 2K Following Writer for @jimmykimmellive. “The woman playing Yaccarino”- @THR. Rep: CAA
femboy mac macdonald @lilmollzerz
282 Followers 623 Following you're all minorities, you're in the glee club
Sea Slug @thesluggoddess
2K Followers 434 Following Welcome. Equal parts depressed & dramatic. She/her 🏳️🌈
Daralyn Kelleher @deekizzle
17K Followers 11K Following i make pet furniture on YouTube https://t.co/lVTCUKaivB https://t.co/Z5jr3Ogwvh
HIMBO Altking @HimboAltking
219 Followers 250 Following Producer, sometimes folklorist, always habibi at large 🍍
Michael La Corte @MichaelLaCorte8
903 Followers 5K Following Food + recipe writer, turophile, voracious coffee consumer | often blathering about food, NJ, Italian and Italian-American cuisine, music/movies/TV, & my dog.
stacy @stacycay
206K Followers 1K Following Hi I’m Stacy Cay I’m a comedian and model from the south and I don’t like republicans.
mike sacks @michaelbsacks
13K Followers 14K Following Writer. Vanity Fair/New Yorker mags. From MD/DC/VA/New Orleans. Author 10 books/audio comedies. NY Times best-sellers. "Doin' It With Mike Sacks" 'cast. Go O's!
Alison Burke @TiredActor
78K Followers 272 Following Aiming for the spotlight while avoiding the sunlight • actor/comedian • she/her
bipolar express @poisonpeachh
4K Followers 4K Following 23. ur digital girlfriend. top 1.3% of hot moms. tweets are satire
Dylan @DylSchwarzman
295 Followers 823 Following Production Assistant/Assistant Producer @latelateshow @LateNightSeth @JimmyKimmelLive @AlwaysSunny
Jill Gray Savarese @GraySavarese
4K Followers 4K Following Jill Gray Savarese is an actress, producer, writer— producer at Gray Savarese Films, Sundance 2016
tesla adrianne @tesladrianne
2K Followers 738 Following resident sad clown, black lives matter, she/her. i am not an electric car.
Janine Annett @janineannett
5K Followers 4K Following Author, I Am “Why Do I Need Venmo?” Years Old, writing in @nytimes @mcsweeneys @newyorkerhumor @wsj etc. Mom to human & dog.
Dash Nye @dash_nye
587 Followers 577 Following they/them • 🌱ⓥ • High Insight/Low Perception DM • IG: gosketchyourself
ziggy slutdust knows .. @OneInsaneSlut
2K Followers 557 Following he/they || @sexysluttyziggy || i promise i’m only flirting with you
Naomi Kazzi @NaomiKazzi
135 Followers 209 Following Aussie award-winning writer | traveler | former teacher 📍 Now based in the USA, previously Switzerland
mary tyler less @islandinmymind
6K Followers 1K Following virgo sun, infj moon, anxiety rising • https://t.co/4pQT8hRDwF ⬅️ $6 OF here ➕ tip jar open! 🚫 No DMs, I turned them off but this app is f’ed
Wise John @real_fbi_agent
59 Followers 81 Following 🎶folky proggy jazzy pop rock singer songwriter? 🌅 standing in sunlight w/ leo. OUT NOW ⬇️
Jakery never said @jakery
8K Followers 4K Following @jakerydont on TikTok, Twitch, and YouTube. Playing simulation games with far less fear than is appropriate.
BS Crypto @BS_Crypto_
226 Followers 917 Following Sharing thoughts about crypto from a guy that knows nothing about crypto.
@caromacon @caromacon
4K Followers 2K Following ♡ writer, artist, mom. ♡ horror author! *✧ a play about a curse (forthcoming @clashbooks) *✧ the roommate (@joffebooks)
Cole Clayton @SniffingGlue22
5K Followers 2K Following Comedian | Content Creator | Blog Writer | Unhinged Tweeter | Dad | Cleveland, Ohio |
Grumpypasta (𝚗𝚜.. @spaghettitit
9K Followers 3K Following opinions expressed here are my own & not the views of my dad • $20 dm fee • $100 unblock fee
Tina Firthlock @yorkshirepud27
2K Followers 5K Following Mum | Couch Potato | Poet | Writer | Creator of humorous charity book - ‘Tales of a Pandemic from a Couch Potato and Friends’ - https://t.co/YgiKb2AhpU
Misty Marie @lilflirtwitu2
596 Followers 5K Following if you want to follow all my socials click on my link tree ❤️
MELapalooza 🐈⚽�.. @MELisCrazyInAZ
32K Followers 15K Following MY ONE AND ONLY PROFILE $MelisCrazyInAz https://t.co/rjxWV6PjFA 🤪Teetering on the edge of insanity 🤣98.2% of my tweets are jokes. Respond accordingly
Lil @CrumbPrince
513 Followers 919 Following 32 y/o non-binary butch lesbian pigeon. Published writings lost in flood.
Jule @Juliagalotti
584 Followers 2K Following NYC. Cat Mom. fiber artist. feminist. spoonie. mental health advocate 🌈
Ari Kaplan(Leftist Me.. @jokerivers38
302 Followers 379 Following Standup comedian. Really big on Twitter
Annaliese🪩who is 5.. @AHHHnnaliese
4K Followers 400 Following (Ah-nah-Lee-za) manic bitchy dream girl with violent hatred of soup | IG AHHHnnaliese
tomtomtom ya been tom.. @gripwalk
607 Followers 591 Following contributor to X. if i really like a xeet i'll reply 'top drawer'. top drawer's are not endorsements.
Kathleen Delano @kdelano001
9K Followers 6K Following Nerd Prom Queen. 1st Gen. 🇺🇸 CEO @PMICUS, Glitter ✨ ❤️ #Writer #Science #Service #NatSec #ChangeAgent #USGovSTEM‼️Who's the Best? YOU ARE! #WomenLead
Darrin Atkins @yellowballsmile
2K Followers 5K Following writer man... writer https://t.co/wcat5OKKHx
Dr. Suzanne Reinhardt @EdTech4Funky1s
2K Followers 1K Following PhD in Learning Sciences, trauma-informed learning. I mute (sometimes block) unsolicited advice-givers. she/her #EducationalTrauma #MentalHealth
Mark my words: I will no longer be on twitter by November 2064.
kinda forgot not everyone at the concert is going to be a top 0.5% fan bc nobody understood my shirt lmao but @AJRBrothers have more fun on stage than any other performer i’ve ever seen, it’s incredible. ask me about how they write music the same way beethoven did
i watched a child on a plane watch two different shows on different iPads, with no headphones. as incredibly annoying that is, it’s also very concerning. how are parents ok with that?
wrote this one. can’t wait to finally see this on the big screen
Margot Robbie Excited to Announce She'll Be Producing the Live-Action 'Shitty Art Kit' Movie: ow.ly/H2L750ReAuH
Never try to outwit a bridge troll just ask them to define the relationship you two have they will literally beg you to pass (bridge trolls are notorious for saving themselves for a 10)
@JanyNicole @Beeshrine it’s sooo validating to see him get cold. like wow, he’s just like me fr
@itssarahdutcher get it together @Beeshrine
when my hands are warmer than his
If you like this tweet, something great could happen. But likely it won’t.
@Alexius_sc2 waiting for @Beeshrine to pop this question
mexican girls get a quincinera. jewish girls get a bat mitzvah. mormon girls get pulled aside to be told the half inch of midriff that gets exposed when you bend over is “distracting”
for how slutty their lyrics are, you’d expect @falloutboy to have better outfits
my boyfriend can predict which contest is getting eliminated america’s next top model with 85% accuracy
looovve having girl time with bf. watching reality tv n he says things like “her necklace looks like it’s from target” talk your shit bae!!!!!!!!
I wrote this headline. Also, parenting culture is kind of weird, right? Follow for more!
Couple With Twelve Baby Name Books Settles on 'John': ow.ly/HBJU50QHm6Q
if bisexual discrimination isn’t real, then how do you explain bylaws?
The less fun Twitter gets, the more I’m determined to stay until the bitter end. I’m a resilient fighter.
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