Dadding Around @DaddingAround
Just an ordinary dad of two, husband of one, pointing out the funny (and ridiculous) side of parenting. Winner of zero awards. Moderately funny 65% of the time. x.com/search?f=tweet… Bedfordshire, England Joined February 2017-
Tweets14K
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Likes33K
Me: Why are you being so childish?! Ozzy: Because I'm a child... Me: .......Yep.....fair enough.
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This notebook sounds sarcastic...
The sort of message you have to send people when you're a parent...
I don't even drink tea, but I'm starting to suspect 90% of the cups of tea made each day are just an excuse to eat biscuits.
Occasionally I have to cycle the order of my clothes in the cupboard otherwise I'll just wear the same 2 sets of clothes forever.
Wife: I don't feel too good, I'm going to bed early tonight. Me: Oh no *switches on telly* that sounds like a good plan *turns on ps5* I hope you feel better soon *starts fallout 4*
It's been a little while since I read a book. Mostly because I'm terrible at choosing what's next. But I finally chose and started one today!
It's not a proper school run unless it's raining.
Jack: Can I have a pear please? Me: A pair of what? Jack: Why are you always like this?
I think my phone's facial recognition only knows it's me when I look slightly concerned.
Sometimes I wonder what Americans do with all their free time after taking a whole syllable out of the word aluminium.
Me: Jack, why are you so hyper right now?! Jack: I'm not hyper, I'm just weird!
Gee. I wonder what it could be....
Today I hoovered the big hoover with the little hoover. That's the kind of person I am nowadays.
Imagine winning the lottery! People: House. Sports car. Me: Brand name baked beans!
I got a new pencil today and I'm unreasonably happy about it.
Me: Any idea what to have for dinner tonight? Wife: Oh we're having gammon and eggs with roast baby potatoes. Me: You're making that? Wife: I didn't say I was making it, but that's what we're having.
Ozzy: Daddy, it's not fair! You get loads of cool parcels and I never get anything! Me: You know what, you're right. The next cool parcel they arrives for me, you can have. Ozzy: Yaaaay! Thank you! The next parcel to arrive:
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