FudgeRobot @FudgeRobot
For three weeks in 2007 I unknowingly became a snowman. Chapstick is more important to me than my family. favstar.fm/users/fudgerob… Joined November 2013-
Tweets4K
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Followers1K
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Following2K
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Likes28K
What’s it called when the number of things you try not to think about is greater than the number of things you actually think about?
"Sorry I didn't get back to you, things have been crazy lately"..... someone whose life hasn't been crazy lately and doesn't like you.
Date: What do you do? Me *holds up menu* you just choose a meal from this book of food
Twitter. Because strangers are better than the people you know.
you can put a donut on a salad and still call it a salad. no one can legally stop you
I have a medical alert bracelet that says,”Delete Twitter.”
If I ever say I love you while we're fucking, it's only because I love you while we're fucking.
8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”
Yes, auto-correct, I wanted to wish my friend a happy 4th of Judy.
"It's too early for this shit." Me, no matter what time it is.

Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
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Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
22K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
55K Followers 48K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
Stace Fiction @girl_a_whirl
19K Followers 3K Following For a time like this iTweet https://t.co/dozpQM4LJw https://t.co/q20igVBwmn
TattleTaleSister @TattleTSister
22K Followers 6K Following Somewhere,all of the great dead writers are sipping absinthe and doing the jerk-off motion while reading our tweets. @luvpugfdn . Hiker.Runner.CrossFit cultist.
Trey @treydayway
44K Followers 5K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Chincha @chincha33
13K Followers 5K Following I think I've finally gotten rid of my need for another *if I had a hammer* tweet (This is all lies!)
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪ... @sofarrsogud
22K Followers 6K Following 🖊️ Some of my tweets are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts.
AbbyDabbyDuh @DearAuntAbby
19K Followers 5K Following Trying to laugh through the shitshow that is my life. My tweets in link below 👇
Kung Fu Kanga @_little_old_me
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Amanda B @amandajpanda
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StatArbPro🇺🇸 @Jieanui90812
29 Followers 2K Following 15-30% Monthly | 2 High-Conviction Stocks.Short-Term Gains: 15-20% in Days/Weeks.DM "JOIN" for WhatsApp Alerts. Live Trade Signals • Market Analysis
NotMuchToSay @NotMuchToSay13
1 Followers 76 Following
fightgeek @fightgeek
10K Followers 8K Following i wander around outside and hangout with dogs mostly 🇺🇸
Nazza @Nazza83598294
11 Followers 95 Following I'm just here to read your tweets because I'm too lazy to write my own
Funny Tweeter @thefunnytweeter
12K Followers 4K Following If we retweet you, that means your tweet was published in https://t.co/Sjvvd3oshD. To submit a tweet, mention @thefunnytweeter
Jeff @Gangstanapper
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Knotwhole @1knotwhole
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🦇 @daphnesdesk
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bottom of my purse @Bottomofmypurse
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Jenny @jello143
608 Followers 2K Following When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers. -Polish Proverb
This That & The Other @TTATOPodcast
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Mark Gilliland @markdgilliland
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Voyager 3 @beyondvoyager
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The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian
233K Followers 77K Following Instagram: @theculturedruffian Donut Dad Bod. Tweets are mine, videos aren't. https://t.co/hvJ5WZMGRd
Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan
3K Followers 2K Following Kitchens and Twitter share the same first rule: If you get your feelings hurt easy, this isn't for you.
Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka
11K Followers 4K Following Welcome to my page. No one can hear you scream from here. *** Some of my tweets:https://t.co/CL0jMk4bGk
Ashley Furniture Revi... @ShouldUBuyHere
469 Followers 3K Following We share @AshleyHomestore reviews as they happen 👀
Outback Phil @geowizzacist
10K Followers 6K Following Words. he/him. Ally. SC&IG2. Stories+art+more: https://t.co/TfXDQCJsnV
Mushy Cantaloupe Ball... @OilCan314
2K Followers 1K Following I was at a house party once, and there was a mountain of cocaine on the kitchen counter. I didn't do any, but it was pretty awesome.
Poptart ☀️ @ShawtySouth
17K Followers 15K Following Short Bus Window Licker, Tater Tot Connoisseur, Goonies Never Say Die. https://t.co/iW1wCyPjQ4 https://t.co/zD57Tbzdmw
land narwhal @crashshandicoot
525 Followers 1K Following bibliophilic bourbonaire/a baja fuckin’ blast
Lovely Bones @MrsLovelyBones1
40K Followers 8K Following
Jay THE BURTON 🏖�... @jasonbbabcock
59 Followers 640 Following Jason B Babcock. Male 51 years old. Love golf, kids and Family. Former US Marine. Gulf War Vet. Once a Marine Always A Marine. https://t.co/dXtdz1IUxW 🌲🐠🐟
baked.in.ny @propapergirl
12K Followers 2K Following I never make mistakes. Thought I did once, but I was wrong. Epic loser. Shitty tweet writer. SMS Mom. I'm probably high. I can fly but only towards Earth.
EricaTriesToTweet @EricaWhoToYou
4K Followers 2K Following attempting but often failing at most things
Rad Dad, stuck at hom... @PerfectAndUgly
407 Followers 2K Following Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already a voice inside my yead. https://t.co/O62pVNBsfr
slystef❤️🧡💛... @slytherinstef
11K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/TzDyFZapbu Wish life weren’t stupid af —old tweets https://t.co/AWLz14T1SK
Chris Merrill @spac3craf
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dugglebutt @dugglebutt
7K Followers 1K Following
Number 86 Tram @86tram
451 Followers 361 Following I’m the most non-Bogan of all the tram routes in Melbourne. Milo tins, antique chairs and possums allowed on board. Tweet me when you ride with me or spot me.
UlteriorEgo @13Tink5
14K Followers 2K Following You see that spark in my eyes... well that's trouble https://t.co/Je5CoXF6TM
Flatbush Fish🐟 @FlatbushFish
151 Followers 928 Following
☠Êv¡£☠Genius�... @That_Damn_Duck
18K Followers 2K Following Sarcasm specialist, anti-inspirational tweeter & photographer. Instagram: same name. Check my photos out on Flickr. https://t.co/6jRRWeKpOu
Rachel Ray @scherbatsky_up
165 Followers 565 Following Night shift ER/Trauma RN on a mission to see the world 🌎✈️
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
42K Followers 9K Following Independently owned and operated A+ Rating fron the BBB Chicago Area I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
73K Followers 2K Following Fourth Quarter Performer. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish MEJOR QUE NADA
Felicia @LostFelicia
40K Followers 5K Following LOST on Oceanic flight 815 ♥ @LuvPugFDN ♥ New tweets:https://t.co/zkEWXj4pOo
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
59K Followers 3K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/hYaRTXyflG
Tony P. @Tbone7219
52K Followers 18K Following
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
22K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
cathryn 💚🇨🇦 @AngryRaccoon2
25K Followers 6K Following Nice person. Buddhist. Mental health and harm reduction advocate 💚
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
55K Followers 48K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
Stace Fiction @girl_a_whirl
19K Followers 3K Following For a time like this iTweet https://t.co/dozpQM4LJw https://t.co/q20igVBwmn
TattleTaleSister @TattleTSister
22K Followers 6K Following Somewhere,all of the great dead writers are sipping absinthe and doing the jerk-off motion while reading our tweets. @luvpugfdn . Hiker.Runner.CrossFit cultist.
Trey @treydayway
44K Followers 5K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Ivsy @Ivsy01
38K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Benny 'Mostly Polish'... @citizenkawala
22K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Mac Dickson @MacDicksonShow
7K Followers 4K Following Longtime New England radio personality. Tweets @ link:⬇️
Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan
3K Followers 2K Following Kitchens and Twitter share the same first rule: If you get your feelings hurt easy, this isn't for you.
Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
131K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Y0cx
Outback Phil @geowizzacist
10K Followers 6K Following Words. he/him. Ally. SC&IG2. Stories+art+more: https://t.co/TfXDQCJsnV
GovtTookMaBaby @just_evolved
10K Followers 7K Following I used to yell out of open windows, now I do this.
Mushy Cantaloupe Ball... @OilCan314
2K Followers 1K Following I was at a house party once, and there was a mountain of cocaine on the kitchen counter. I didn't do any, but it was pretty awesome.
Susie Qsie @susie_qsie
23K Followers 6K Following
Poptart ☀️ @ShawtySouth
17K Followers 15K Following Short Bus Window Licker, Tater Tot Connoisseur, Goonies Never Say Die. https://t.co/iW1wCyPjQ4 https://t.co/zD57Tbzdmw
land narwhal @crashshandicoot
525 Followers 1K Following bibliophilic bourbonaire/a baja fuckin’ blast
Christopher Ashman @CAshmanActor
11K Followers 682 Following Actor | Writer | BUY MY FANTASY NOVEL FOR LIKE $3 - link below
Quilliam @nyquills
15K Followers 571 Following a hedgehog from Mars. jokes in link. @undrcoverninjax is the 143 to my 637
baked.in.ny @propapergirl
12K Followers 2K Following I never make mistakes. Thought I did once, but I was wrong. Epic loser. Shitty tweet writer. SMS Mom. I'm probably high. I can fly but only towards Earth.
Lovely Bones @MrsLovelyBones1
40K Followers 8K Following
Chelle~ @BombChelleNY
150K Followers 5K Following Cheeseburger aficionado. Yankee and Dolphin lover. Yankees haters make me giggle.
Sue Jordan🍒 @ItsCherrySue
12K Followers 4K Following TV Panelist | Beauty Writer | OG #BBlogger | Creative Consultant | Co Founder: Mums on the Run https://t.co/drUbV55uXC
A2DaL2DaK @tornadoofjstice
627 Followers 785 Following Orange Cat conspiracy theorist, High Priestess in the Temple of the Shirtless Thunder God. https://t.co/haBuRG5S0R
Chris Merrill @spac3craf
16K Followers 12K Following 🎹🎶 Composer · ✍️🎭 Writer · ⛓️🧬AI Symbiosis Advocate | 🎨🕊️Art for Art’s Sake · 🧠🌌Theater of the Mind · 📜🪞Hyperdiegetic Parallel Publishing (since 2025)
dugglebutt @dugglebutt
7K Followers 1K Following
Cheeky P @0000seapea808
16K Followers 2K Following Still in denial of object permanence & time https://t.co/L7UF4qBZsn
Fresh Lettuce @newLettuce
5K Followers 883 Following Just hangin in there. Tweets: https://t.co/FJ3Leo3fto
TrishDelish 💋 @trishm426
37K Followers 4K Following Hanging here with the rest of you crazies...now make me laugh! https://t.co/fIV6BZ5qGS
Audrey @aundreyamarie
9K Followers 2K Following
👊🏻 @UltraPunch
12K Followers 23 Followingnocturnallyme @nocturnallyme
2K Followers 4K Following My current avi is not exactly a recent pic, but I think it well displays my native attitude toward life in general.
blank plank @tiring_tho23
13K Followers 11K Following hopeless nerd, neurodivergent, expect random unfiltered emotions. logic matters, not your bias.
Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy
24K Followers 4K Following 𝕌𝕟𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕖 ℝ𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕦𝕣 𝕊𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝔼𝕘𝕘 𝕄𝕔𝕄𝕦𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕟 𝔼𝕟𝕥𝕙𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕒𝕤t
UlteriorEgo @13Tink5
14K Followers 2K Following You see that spark in my eyes... well that's trouble https://t.co/Je5CoXF6TM
Moz @MafiaKingfish
2K Followers 753 Following corporate cholo. degenerate gambler. mob historian. whiskey snob. coffee fiend. https://t.co/17aeBxhoR1
Joseph P. Larkin @WhiteMale
1K Followers 277 Following The Omar Little of the Los Angeles Comedy Scene 'And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him.' :)
Mizz Tangles @MizzTangles
3K Followers 3K Following I once had a one stand with a Tom Selleck poster.
Nayele18 @nayele18maybe
8K Followers 787 Following I don’t want to hold your baby. https://t.co/QgYIS4j9WI
uncle mom @mayamanion
12K Followers 6K Following subpar mom, shitty waitress, Columbo aficionado https://t.co/V8Yq5kdfIh
Edward Philip Ferrero... @eddie_ferrero
3K Followers 307 Following Abandoned by wolves | Raised by humans | Kind of an asshole | Ascending into madness