Andrea Krakovsky @GoodAtCooking
Bananas Rice Applesauce Toast Joined July 2022-
Tweets25
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Followers29
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Following37
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Likes14
There is a very special time in a man’s life where it’s time to sell his amp, and would love for it to go to a buddy.
Love me or hate me, I’ll react completely differently!!
When someone describes painful life events and follows it up with “but I wouldn’t have it any other way” okay why not??
I will charge my phone simply because I need it to be on a leash
Sure there’s a lot of fish in the sea, but none of them are willing to wear a condom
You know what they say, if you can’t stand the heat, I’ll turn it down. it’s literally not a big deal
My exes are going to be sooooooooo distraught when they realize they’re missing out on being featured in my One Second Everyday video 😌
Why do men on dating apps say they don’t want pen pals??? Sorry is that too charming for you??
I’ll text someone good morning, but I draw the line at good afternoon
Right now I’m just masturbating to the idea of someone texting me back
What’s water really made of??? And *don’t* say hydrogen and oxygen
Not sure what my address is. My wife takes care of all that
Did you know? Every four seconds another queer person crops their shirt (badly)
i think i would really thrive in an easy environment
Not only am I the GOAT, I’m also the sacrificial lamb
When Miley Cyrus said my tummy's turnin and I'm feelin kinda homesick, I really felt that
I’ve been a doctor for twenty years, so I’ve pretty much seen it all, wieners, asses, jugs… you name it
I’ll just come out and say it, I literally don’t know what gonzo journalism is
The cord from my vibrator doesn’t reach my bed, so I usually just set up shop in the corner of my room near an outlet #WomenInSTEM
Chipotlesmiserables @Chipotlesmiser1
16 Followers 258 Following A normal person with correct opinions
night palace @nightpalace_
118 Followers 115 Following shakespeare spice™ 🥀 musique from athens / atl, ga (& sometimes nyc ;) ✷ debut 𝘋𝘐𝘝𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎𝘚 out now ➰🩵
comfy robo @nottheactors
58 Followers 88 Following smite me i dare u👩🏻🍳 they https://t.co/wUXnPh9UqR @[email protected]
bitch of the waste @sea___peach
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Sarah @FinalQuery
111 Followers 161 Following Librarian | MLIS | MA | Dog Mom | GA ➡ MS ➡ NY | Views my own ❤️ 💍 @J_REDD_
LA LUCHA SIGUE ❤️... @soynirvi
326 Followers 229 Following she/her/ella • cosas de la vida ni de aquí ni allá
#1 Politics/MMA/Jelqu... @PANTHER_CLAWS
318 Followers 2K Following Do you have your passport? Did you get your shots? Girl would you like to come back with Rob to America?
Mugiwara no Rigby @StrawHatRigby
74 Followers 664 Following #OnePiece | #Patriots | sometimes write about movies | It’s the climb | Raccoon
Gregory Griffin @gr3g0rygr1ff1n
44 Followers 608 Following 2007 South East Georgia 4H Regional Poultry Judging Contest “Eager Participant” (I did not medal)
Chaos Supervisor @BelmontHiggins
241 Followers 943 Following Dale Jakes! • Digital Marketer• Games, Music, and lots of words • bylines: @PasteMagazine, @DoubleXPSite, @thegamerwebsite, @Technology_Adv
yankl 🥸 @GoylemMode
638 Followers 1K Following theater maker | puppet shaker | wise guy of כעלם | free palestine 🇵🇸
Stefan S. Martinez-Ru... @stefansmr
433 Followers 3K Following Queer social scientist & teacher in the internat’l & comparative pol econ of: historical legacies, race, local development, trade, Latin America, funny; He/his
Sasha Sage @angelicvenusian
133 Followers 137 Following
Nick Devlin @nickdevlin
1K Followers 917 Following senior data editor, @ESPN. (he/him) past: @cbsnews, @inc, @njdotcom 〽️
Chipotlesmiserables @Chipotlesmiser1
16 Followers 258 Following A normal person with correct opinions
comfy robo @nottheactors
58 Followers 88 Following smite me i dare u👩🏻🍳 they https://t.co/wUXnPh9UqR @[email protected]
LA LUCHA SIGUE ❤️... @soynirvi
326 Followers 229 Following she/her/ella • cosas de la vida ni de aquí ni allá
Out Of Context Poog @OOCPoog
135 Followers 1 Following Profile dedicated to the philosophically informed examination of modern life lead by Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak
John Early @bejohnce
89K Followers 2K Following John Early: Now More Than Ever THE ALBUM out now! ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Kate Berlant @kateberlant
73K Followers 801 Following Currently on tour! Tickets below! Cinnamon in the Wind/ Hulu Would It Kill You to Laugh?/ Peacock
Tig Notaro @TigNotaro
168K Followers 5K Following Official Twitter for Tig Notaro. **TWEETS NOT BY TIG** but by Tig's friends, friends of friends, & charities we love. Tour dates on https://t.co/S3AGRPJkuZ
Gregory Griffin @gr3g0rygr1ff1n
44 Followers 608 Following 2007 South East Georgia 4H Regional Poultry Judging Contest “Eager Participant” (I did not medal)
Stefan S. Martinez-Ru... @stefansmr
433 Followers 3K Following Queer social scientist & teacher in the internat’l & comparative pol econ of: historical legacies, race, local development, trade, Latin America, funny; He/his
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
26K Followers 1K Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
𝖊𝖌𝖌-𝖘𝖍... @eggshapedmammal
102 Followers 354 Following |They/Them| I have gotten spaghetti stains in my underwear. My white, cotton underwear.
maya sharma… @goodjobmaya
2K Followers 1K Following member of @ladieswhoranch associate director at @comedybrooklyn I am the girl who knocks
Tina Sieben @wnbawife
13K Followers 710 Following I’m a comedian! watch my Cracked Comedy set in my bio 🫡
claire @seemycowski
431 Followers 341 Following
Chaos Supervisor @BelmontHiggins
241 Followers 943 Following Dale Jakes! • Digital Marketer• Games, Music, and lots of words • bylines: @PasteMagazine, @DoubleXPSite, @thegamerwebsite, @Technology_Adv
Sasha Sage @angelicvenusian
133 Followers 137 Following
Nick Devlin @nickdevlin
1K Followers 917 Following senior data editor, @ESPN. (he/him) past: @cbsnews, @inc, @njdotcom 〽️
night palace @nightpalace_
118 Followers 115 Following shakespeare spice™ 🥀 musique from athens / atl, ga (& sometimes nyc ;) ✷ debut 𝘋𝘐𝘝𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎𝘚 out now ➰🩵
yankl 🥸 @GoylemMode
638 Followers 1K Following theater maker | puppet shaker | wise guy of כעלם | free palestine 🇵🇸
Naomi Maisel @naomimaisel
58 Followers 257 Following
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