Hamwise J. Einschwein @HamwiseEin

In dystopian Canada, punchline gets you punched! #comedy #repression #funny #billc63 #censorship #FreedomOfExpression #deadpress #zombieinternet #amithelastoneleft

Anyone else read the story of puss and boots? Anyone know how it ends? Hopefully you do. Because I didn't. And I'm scared, and the wolf of death is after me. #joke #comedy #funny

To all my friends in Maryland, I can't wait to come home. I hate it here, I only pretend to smile in pictures because they will shoot me if I don't. Please keep the fire burning. I'm here until midnight. #joke #godblesstheUSA #FreedomOfSpeech

Just remember, Hamwise J. Einschwein, unlike a politician will never lie to you, you can trust your government, and I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. #joke #comedy #funny #lol

Please stop calling #trudeau a clown, it is an insult to clowns. Please stop calling him a wacko, it is an insult to the mentally ill. Just call him what he is. A wonderful leader that I trust with all my heart. #Joke #comedy

British Humor, like Hypereal Humor is an acquired taste. So, no. I don't hate my haters. I love them, I hold them close while I strive, from the bottom of my heart I hope you are safe and alive. #joke #comedy #lol

They will probably try to frame me for this, me, HAMWISE J. EINSCHWEIN a pig detective, all because I was trying to get to the bottom of this sinister case of JELLY DONUTS! OHIO! #joke #comedy

Sorry, the messages have to come to you like this, but I'm in some effing military prison, and the only way I can get a message out is by talking to a cartoon mouse on a steam boat... oh wait, that was my fever dream last nite! OHIO! OINK! HIYO! #joke #lol

Don't believe me, fine. Laugh at me, why not. But don't listen to me at your own peril, because when legions of Guatemalan refugees turn out to be a mercenary army sent to dethrone your sinful masters, I will with you, manning the barricade! #joke #lol

You know what burns my rump? My wife with a candle! OHIO! But seriously folks, my wife is always ragging on me, because she's an angel, a literal biblically accurate angel and will soon unleash judgement upon you all! #joke #comedy

Seriously, the revolutionary symbol was a talking pig? Alright, whatever you apes, roll the theme music. #joke

Don't trust anyone, especially me, I'm a pig detective, nobody takes me seriously, and I get no respect around here... because I'm HAMWISE J. EINSCHWEIN #comedy #joke #pigman #funny #lol

Learn sign language, they can't hear hands. #ASL #language #surveillance #psyops #opspsy #oops #leak #learnsignlanguagetheycanthearhands #morsecodetooifyoucan #snakehunt #invasion

If something happens to me, it's not an accident, I live a healthy life and it is unlikely that I had a heart attack, and I would never EVER commit suicide. Life is great! Just kidding folks, you exist in a dystopia. #joke #comedy #lol

You know what is happening? Sneed? I know what's happening, and maybe before you pick a fighting, you should know which side the machine god is on. MINE! #joke #comedy #lol

Remember, if you take anything I say seriously, you might be on the most wanted list... MOST WANTED FOR BEING A DUMMY! OINK! #joke #comedy #funny #lol

youtube.com/watch?v=rvpSjU… "Certified Laff Riot!" +Comedian Deli Arte #comedy #lol #funny #schizomedy #ARG #joke #hilarious #haha #silly #pigman #detective #invasion #timewar #futurejoke #cryptography #cicadapocalypse #cicada

I don't understand women these days, but then again I didn't understand women when I was young either. That's why I'm divorced! OINK! #joke

Another one, would you rather be trapped in a hot tub with a woman or a moose? One is a violent ornery beast that will ruin your life, while the moose will just get frightened by the sound of the hot tub motor and run! #joke #comedy

Or how about... a man or A MANBEARPIG in the woods! #joke #comedy