KnowComment @KnownComment

Shorter than you think. x.com/search?q=from:… United States Joined August 2017

Tweets

54K
Followers

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Following

6K
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110K

🖤 EV 🖤 @sweetcrazyweird

4 years ago

You don't scare me. You're not one of my tweets going viral, turned into a meme, and shared all over Facebook.

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☕️Saint Vivica, Patron Saint of Coffee ☕️ @QueenVofCoffee

4 years ago

Just spilled my oatmeal all over the carpeted floor. In case you wanted to know how put together I was.

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Forward March @RunOldMan

4 years ago

I dreamt about my one true love last night, pizza, I dreamt about pizza.

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Forward March @RunOldMan

4 years ago

Some people believe that if their SO takes all the covers at night they’re either cold or horny, if they guess wrong they will be bitched out at 2 am.

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Forward March @RunOldMan

4 years ago

Coffee is not just a beverage, it is a cup of liquid sanity.

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Forward March @RunOldMan

4 years ago

She hides her chocolate Truffles where I can't find them, I hide my Reese's and she finds them, we are not the same.

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✯A̷T̷O̷M̷I̷C̷ ̷R̷O̷B̷O̷T̷✯ @Gelatin_Cyborg

4 years ago

Oh, you "experimented" with drugs? Show me your well documented and rigorous adherence to the scientific method.

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baby smith @itsBABYSMITH

4 years ago

holding a severed head, but it's just me cradling my emotional support butter lettuce

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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat

4 years ago

Much like syphilis, plants are a reminder that we learn best through making mistakes.

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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat

4 years ago

I'm Midwestern sober. Haven't made a casserole in three weeks. Ope.

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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat

4 years ago

If a friend betrays you, there's no need to gossip or cry or act unseemly. Just do what a royal would do. Keep your head high, your facial expression serene, and very calmly plot a murder.

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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat

4 years ago

People always think their love is permanent, but that is simply not true, with enough manipulation any love can die pretty hard.

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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat

4 years ago

Hey boy, are you a toilet seat because I licked you, and now I'm not feeling very well

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KnowComment @KnownComment

4 years ago

The enemy of my enemy is probably still kind of a jerk.

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Seedy-ROM @MrMattThomas

4 years ago

I was the first person to turn music up really loud on my phone as a way to locate my misplaced wireless headphones. I invented that.

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A-Moo’s Bouche 🐮 @AsclepiasRosa

4 years ago

Catastrophes are so much better with Morgan Freeman narrating.

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Vada Von Vuckov @ZenRoadPilot

4 years ago

🎶 It's not that I wanna die Dying's a slow way to live Just wanna choke on his tie One sip away from the give 🎶 "Love Gangster" by @BethHart youtu.be/spoCFLkdgaE