The ParentNormal @ParentNormal
Chris Cate, imperfect dad of 3. Writes comedy. Hosts Breaking Down Parenting Podcast. On funniest parent lists by @HuffPostParents @BuzzFeed @ScaryMommy, more. ParentNormal.com Earth Joined May 2011-
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Say hello if you're at the Mom 2.0 Summit today in Nashville! It's one of the best parenting conferences in America. I'll be speaking from 2-3:30pm about how I've gone from making memes to publishing 28 books through my @wordplaygroundhog indie publishing business. #mom2summit
What age do kids learn to entertain themselves?? 😩😂
Neighbors: (Boom, Boom, Blast) I could do fireworks all night! This is the best! Parents: The kids are gonna be awake all night. This is the worst!
Happy Independence Day! I'll be celebrating with kids who dictate everything I do or even think of doing.
You can search the entire internet faster than a kid can search their room for a pair of shoes in the middle of their room.
If you think texting and driving is dangerous, you don’t want to know how dangerous it is to be parenting and driving.
Threenagers talk like everything they say is a "reply all" message to everybody in the room with them.
The only thing kids hate more than getting in a bath is getting out of a bath.
It's impossible to pick up after kids. Seriously. You can’t pick up after people who never pick up anything the first time.
Kids do follow the five-second rule. It’s just that they believe five seconds is a VERY long time.
Toddlers always go the extra mile... when they are running away from you in a public place.
Toddlers dance the same way they cry: without inhibition.
Never throw away empty toilet paper rolls. That's wasting completely good telescopes. - Kids
Kids can hear the opening of a pantry or refrigerator from 250 miles away.
Toddlers are great at whispering if whispering means talking as quietly as they shout.
A consequence of having kids is always having rotten bananas too. There is no way to buy the right amount of bananas for kids.
Booster seats are excellent for helping toddlers who aren’t quite tall enough to crawl onto the kitchen table.
You will always know if your kid was playing in a sandbox because the sandbox will fall out of their shoes as soon as they take them off.
When a toddler has a crumby day, it’s been a great day for them.
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
James Breakwell, Expl.. @XplodingUnicorn
944K Followers 841 Following Father of daughters. Owner of pigs. Writer of books: https://t.co/V7JWbsTXJ9
Sarah Turner @TheUnmumsyMum
54K Followers 2K Following Richard & Judy Book Club pick STEPPING UP out now @transworldbooks. ON THE EDGE coming 2024. Rep: @agentfergie at @HardmanSwainson.
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 592 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
116K Followers 6K Following I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl
26K Followers 3K Following Ex-netflix. Former Victorian Literature Professor. @UCBerkeley Alum.
Dad and Buried @DadandBuried
47K Followers 3K Following I don't hate my kids, I hate parenting them! PRE-ORDER MY BOOK! https://t.co/6fqLgZx00R
Robert Knop @FatherWithTwins
21K Followers 5K Following Big fan of my twin teen boys and my wife. As seen on: @HuffPostParents, @mashable, @parentsmagazine, @BuzzFeed, @TODAYshow. Insta and FB: @Fatherwithtwins
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues
20K Followers 586 Following Writer. Editor. Eater of green things from the ground. https://t.co/zWmEYTiCTJ
Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues
18K Followers 2K Following Working mom of two boys, happily married, trying to bring a little joy to the nonsense of parenting 💕 https://t.co/ujkBfo5Yxt 💕 #BLM
SpacedMom @copymama
25K Followers 3K Following Writer of freelance copy. Cultivator of small humans. Documenter of absurdity. / Header by the talented @mommy_cusses
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
mark @TheCatWhisprer
49K Followers 2K Following Nobody wrote 'stay cool' in my yearbook, the only signer was my math teacher Mr. Johansson and he just wrote 'Mr. Johansson'
No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards
12K Followers 904 Following Author of the Screen Time column hosted by Netflix. 2021 dad blogger of the year. Seen on the NYT, WashPost, Parents, People, GMA, Today… Bestselling author.
Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife
11K Followers 462 Following Mom of 3. Finder of things. Drinker of gin. https://t.co/XEuy6bHaVy
The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian
246K Followers 82K Following Instagram: @theculturedruffian Donut Dad Bod. Tweets are mine, videos aren't. https://t.co/hvJ5WZMGRd
Rosita @rosita1983
134 Followers 2K Following
My Life Is The Pitts .. @LifePitts
5K Followers 2K Following Super awkward, like with a cape. Surprising amount of kids for someone who couldn't keep Tamagotchis alive.
45leftorrightpod @45leftorright
4 Followers 30 Following Army helicopter pilot Darisse Smith takes stories from her life to talk about the challenges of midlife-relationships, parenting, aging and all the fun.
Michael Longworth @longworthmike
171 Followers 315 Following My awesome partner in life is Morgayne Eby, got 2 cats and I work and play at Vernon Golf and Vernon Curling Club. plus beer 🍻
Tattletale Times @TattletaleTimes
427 Followers 986 Following Your go-to source for hilarious satire news on the chaotic world of parenting. https://t.co/pFbpZ6Lfd1
Linda Wang @LindaWang_eco
2 Followers 93 Following
iNFT_ MARQUE YT @inft_yt29763
1 Followers 13 Following
Christine Mark @ChristineVancil
21 Followers 106 Following
venugopal, scientist .. @author_gopal
2K Followers 5K Following Author, Ex Scientist with DRDO, Life coach, Farmer, Dreamer, Investor
Lucy Locket Loves @LocketLoves
2 Followers 11 Following
Kevin Schroeder @livinlginchitwn
67 Followers 236 Following
Ree @girlmomxo
2 Followers 94 Following •mama. •married. •cat lady. •coffee addict. •book enthusiast. •lover of sloths&llamas. 🤟🏽💛
Teneta @Teneta437685
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SUNPENNY @SUNPENNYSAFE
227 Followers 5K Following Concerned about safety issues for kids in & around the home. Lookin for tips & tricks to help parents keep their kids safe & healthy! #clearthelist #childsafety
Burnt Toast @burningtoast67
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Tougeighl @tougeighl10472
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Jacqueline Line @JacquelineRLine
375K Followers 371K Following Toy/Miniature Poodle Rescuer ❤️rescue unwanted toy/miniature poodles❤️seniors/hospice, heartworm+, cushing’s, kidney, IVDD,special medical needs (blind/deaf)❤️
Sumiya...... Student .. @AbidaSumiy79313
817 Followers 4K Following I am professional #digital_marketer #Freelancer_social_marketer, #Twitter_marketer, #Account_managmenter & #Website_creator কবিতা লিখতে ভিষণ পছন্দ.
Rodolfo Cabrera @RodolfoCabreraC
398 Followers 522 Following PERSONAL CRISIS MANAGEMENT Strategic Guidance to successfully navigate through personal & professional emergencies #CrisisOpportunity
Mary Cass @MPC_Delmar
454 Followers 952 Following Eternal Optimist 🧡 Science Educator 💙 Assistant Band Director 🧡 Mentor 💙 Proud Momma 🧡 2023 District Teacher of the Year 💙VP Friends of the Laurel Library
Lexi @alexisgaddy8
6 Followers 103 Following
SarahPenney47 @SarahPenney47
59 Followers 300 Following
Lucy Howell @HowellVirtual
110 Followers 328 Following Podcast Management & VA for Busy Parents! Get More Downloads, Save Time & Grow Your Business. Let's Chat & Craft Your Podcast Strategy! #podcastcoach
DISABILITY LAW GROUP @coplexPTSD
213 Followers 470 Following Disability LAW GROUP 625 E big beaver road suite 207 troy MI 48083 2023 LAW offices of daniel donald PLC email ; [email protected]
Imaks Osas @imaks_osas18544
28 Followers 645 Following god is my only Savior through him everything is possible🙏❤️💯
Danielle Shu @danielleshu
27 Followers 87 Following
Feed the Flames @i_amthe_fire
2 Followers 62 Following . Artist . Moon sister . Heart-centered . Adventurer . Grateful . Fierce. Gemini . Fierce .
Heather @WestEndGirl46
236 Followers 467 Following #MOM, Pediatrics🔬, 🎵, #ATL⚾️, 📸, Indie 🎞. Podcast junkie. Gen X. Not living my best life bc Adulting. #1 Female rapper in my 🚗 #Eminem #RIP 97x Oxford OH🎧
Joseph DiAngelo @ItaliaOrangeade
23 Followers 457 Following
ForeignBabyClub @ForeignBabyClub
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Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom
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Smart Com Live @SmartComLiveUSA
1K Followers 2K Following Put your business phone to work. Do more with employees, customers, and integrations together on one world-class cloud phone system.
ablogwasborn @ablogwasborn
573 Followers 249 Following Stay-at-home-mom | Mother of boys | Sometimes witty | A little sarcastic | More comedic takes on IG
Naturally Nature @naturalentrpses
101 Followers 461 Following We are committed to supporting families in their journey to live healthier, more sustainable lives, and to making a positive impact on the world around us.
Mollie Gurian @mgurian
96 Followers 783 Following advocate for older adults @leadingage /all opinions are my own
Dad Equals @dadequals
38 Followers 103 Following
Yate GMM @YateGMM
37 Followers 345 Following
Steve@menu-selection... @menu_selection
188 Followers 82 Following I’m a data scientist and I built an algorithm. I send out a weekly menu for family dinners. ⏩ dinner/acc
Kids' News and Storie.. @AaliyaZahra
693 Followers 5K Following I believe that there are three key areas that every kid should explore in order to discover their passion and potential : 1. stories 2. News 3. Innovations
butterfliphilly @Butterfliphilly
12 Followers 106 Following
Jodi Seidler @Makinglemonde
59 Followers 259 Following Empty Nester. Writer: Creator of Making Lemonade The Single Parent Network. Always: The Mother of ReInvention, Ready for a podcast.
abuelita Vero @VeroAbuelita
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Neha @Neha75311884
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Katherine C @KatherineConkin
21 Followers 176 Following
BG @bharath008gowda
116 Followers 974 Following
Sarah Ashton @SarahAshton7
27 Followers 265 Following i like: cool people, candy, cooking, learning, laughing, loving, lifting up others, coloring, writing poetry, song lyrics, short stories, correcting my mistakes
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
James Breakwell, Expl.. @XplodingUnicorn
944K Followers 841 Following Father of daughters. Owner of pigs. Writer of books: https://t.co/V7JWbsTXJ9
Sarah Turner @TheUnmumsyMum
54K Followers 2K Following Richard & Judy Book Club pick STEPPING UP out now @transworldbooks. ON THE EDGE coming 2024. Rep: @agentfergie at @HardmanSwainson.
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 592 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess
435K Followers 47K Following NYT bestselling writer. Proprietress of @nowherebookshop. Weirdo. (she/her)
Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy
489K Followers 1K Following Please take the enchiladas out of the freezer. Follow the Scary Mommy Book Club @scarymommybooks for monthly recs!
Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
116K Followers 6K Following I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl
26K Followers 3K Following Ex-netflix. Former Victorian Literature Professor. @UCBerkeley Alum.
Dad and Buried @DadandBuried
47K Followers 3K Following I don't hate my kids, I hate parenting them! PRE-ORDER MY BOOK! https://t.co/6fqLgZx00R
Robert Knop @FatherWithTwins
21K Followers 5K Following Big fan of my twin teen boys and my wife. As seen on: @HuffPostParents, @mashable, @parentsmagazine, @BuzzFeed, @TODAYshow. Insta and FB: @Fatherwithtwins
Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues
20K Followers 586 Following Writer. Editor. Eater of green things from the ground. https://t.co/zWmEYTiCTJ
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
mark @TheCatWhisprer
49K Followers 2K Following Nobody wrote 'stay cool' in my yearbook, the only signer was my math teacher Mr. Johansson and he just wrote 'Mr. Johansson'
No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards
12K Followers 904 Following Author of the Screen Time column hosted by Netflix. 2021 dad blogger of the year. Seen on the NYT, WashPost, Parents, People, GMA, Today… Bestselling author.
Jon Acuff @JonAcuff
271K Followers 65K Following New York Times Bestselling Author of 10 books. Married to Jenny. Dad to L.E. & McRae. Grab a copy of my new book All It Takes is a Goal at https://t.co/WNzh4EYhjR
Mary Cass @MPC_Delmar
454 Followers 952 Following Eternal Optimist 🧡 Science Educator 💙 Assistant Band Director 🧡 Mentor 💙 Proud Momma 🧡 2023 District Teacher of the Year 💙VP Friends of the Laurel Library
SpaceX @SpaceX
34.7M Followers 114 Following SpaceX designs, manufactures and launches the world’s most advanced rockets and spacecraft
Ron DeSantis @GovRonDeSantis
4.8M Followers 1 Following 46th Governor of the great state of Florida.
Elon Musk @elonmusk
182.0M Followers 588 Following
Laura Stephenson @teach_steph
8 Followers 50 Following Texas Educator | Current Role: Elementary Special Education Past Experience: 6th -12th Social Studies
WordplayGroundhog @playgroundhog
2 Followers 1 Following We publish funny books for funny kids (and kids at heart)!
Kylee @KyleeOdle
99 Followers 544 Following
shnib @hevrog
23 Followers 44 Following
Will Philips @HoffDiggler
14 Followers 32 Following
Analiese Collings @Liscol1
5 Followers 171 Following
Ann-Marie Coleman @amcoleman3
274 Followers 4K Following
Lowe's @Lowes
295K Followers 11K Following Lowe’s knows no matter what you’re doing, it’s easier to get it done when you’ve got the right people, the right products, all at the right price. 🔨
Kayleigh Scott @kaylsls
6 Followers 136 Following
Katjie Carpenter @Katjie7
12 Followers 138 Following
Modern_MomProbs @Modern_MomProbs
1K Followers 629 Following Hey! I'm Tara Clark Author•Podcaster• Content Creator• Mom• Tackling modern motherhood one problem at a time
Reductress @Reductress
298K Followers 657 Following The one and only fake women's news magazine. Shop, learn and listen to everything Reductress: https://t.co/rZ2ivP7vKO
Susan Chow 🧢🧣�.. @schow314
136 Followers 2K Following F & I Manager for Athens DCJ, Mommy of 4 beautiful girls, and Grammie to 4 handsome little grandsons and 4 beautiful granddaughters!
Beau-Louise @BeauLouise
129 Followers 459 Following
Lala @calischmidt
21 Followers 2K Following Follower of Him who is Awesome, wife of amazing Gary, mother of the beautiful four; I'm a homemaker who loves Kpop, dancing, baking, hugging, and travelling!
LeeAnn Zgobica @ellibird17
23 Followers 951 Following
Kathy Winkelmann @kwinkster
127 Followers 726 Following Christian, wife, mother, pet owner, knitter, reader, writer, motorcycle mama, cook, plant-based diet follower and RA and AS survivor
Beau Brummell @BeauBrummellNY
2K Followers 71 Following Elegant & efficient men's grooming products so you can feel clean, confident, and ready. Maintain Your Daily Edge.
Shokz @ShokzUSA
21K Followers 3K Following Welcome to the #ShokzSquad 🧡 Open-ear audio devices to keep you connected & aware Customer support:[email protected]
Ties.com @Tiesdotcom
2K Followers 150 Following The site that TIES your life together. #tiesyourlife
Dr. Scholls Shoes @drscholls_shoes
835 Followers 161 Following Shoes that move people to do what they love.
Phil Rosenthal @PhilRosenthal
105K Followers 424 Following ‘Somebody Feed Phil’ Season 6 Now Streaming.... Creator: Somebody Feed Phil-Netflix, Everybody Loves Raymond, I'll Have What Phil's Having, Naked Lunch Podcast
Fracture @FractureMe
14K Followers 467 Following Fracture prints your photos in vivid color, directly onto glass. It’s a picture frame and mount all in one.
Carnival Cruise Line @CarnivalCruise
328K Followers 414 Following Welcome to the official Twitter for Carnival Cruise Line! #ChooseFun #CarnivalCruise
Carnival Cruise Line .. @CarnivalPR
70K Followers 223 Following News and updates from the communications team at @CarnivalCruise, the world’s first cruise line to sail over 100 million guests.
Emma Loggins @emmaloggins
15K Followers 1K Following 👩💻: #geekgirl + coder + entrepreneur 🎬: film critic/tv lover, whiskey nerd 🥃 + dog mom 📍ATL | @FanBolt + @WomensBusinessDaily editor & @excitecs founder
Robert W Prentice @RobertWPrentice
675 Followers 935 Following Critic. Fan. Journalist. Editor In Chief @ThreeIfBySpace. Member @ATLFilmCritics & @SEFilmCritics. RTs/Likes are not endorsements.
Matt Rodriguez @ImMattRodriguez
2K Followers 472 Following Film Critic | Actor | Owner/Chief Editor of @Shakefire | SEFCA | AFCC
Holliday Collective @thehollidayco
656 Followers 2K Following Crystal, #Louisiana living, #home, #DIY, #family, #writer/#blogger who loves to style homes, food, and be with family. ❤️
Julie Bigboy @MomRewritten
9K Followers 8K Following Blogger, Freelance Writer & Content Creator - San Diego native, lover of God, my kids, pizza & theme parks!
julieestrella @julieestrella
2K Followers 2K Following Creative Director / Small Business Owner / Wife / Mama
Suzy Turner | The Gre.. @suzy_turner
11K Followers 10K Following Exploring creativity, conquering fears, and embracing midlife adventures! Join me at https://t.co/c6RAlsqkpK for laughter, style, books, vegan recipes, and more!
Tiffani Wilson | Life.. @wilsonlifeforme
1K Followers 1K Following Photographer |Yoga Practicer | Hygge Reacher | Disney Dreamer | Autism Mom | DIY | Travel | Foodie | Living in Sunny AZ 😎🌞🌵
themommyspice @themommyspice
507 Followers 544 Following Motherhood, Food, Lifestyle and Family Travel. Instagram @themommyspice email: [email protected]
Karan Rhodes 💕💚.. @KaranRhodes
1K Followers 2K Following CEO @ShockinglyD | CHRO-level Consultant| M&A #HR advisor|Author on #leadership execution & blended workforces|@Forbes writer| foodie|🥰UGA, ATL sports,🍷✈️🎬
MarTechExec @MarTechExec
36K Followers 30K Following VP of Growth at Transmit Security. Growth marketing is both art and science. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. :)
thatmamanurselife @thatmamanurse
3 Followers 15 Following Tricia | living that nurse mama life. instagram: thatmamanurselifeToday is the day! We are officially announcing the start of Wordplay Groundhog – an indie publisher of funny books for funny kids (and kids at heart)! Our first seven books are now available on Amazon - amzn.to/3RHAI83 You can also learn more at wordplaygroundhog.com!
Today is the day! We are officially announcing the launch of Wordplay Groundhog – an indie publisher of funny books for funny kids (and kids at heart)! Our first seven books are now available on Amazon. You can also learn more at wordplaygroundhog.com!
Oh, the glory and plight of siblings. Tweets via: @XplodingUnicorn @UnfilteredMama @ParentNormal @KateWhineHall @thedad @PaigeKellerman @sarcasticmommy4 #parenting #siblings #siblingrivalry care.com/c/stories/1692…
Truth
Once you have a baby, the contact list in your phone becomes the list of people you don't have time to contact anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen, @Dadz_Inc co-founder and actor extraordinaire, @Iamgreenfield is here! Give a big Life of Dad hello!! #WeAreDadz
A3: Only recently have we started to really pay attention to what goes into our bodies. We definitely want to be around to babysit grandkids! #WeAreDadz
With only 0.5g Sugar, 10 Calories and 50mg Caffeine, @Dadz_Inc Plant Based Lightning Sticks and are a far better way to grab a boost of energy than other energy products out there. #WeAreDadz
Urgent question for @Iamgreenfield. At the end of my favorite movie, The Big Short, do you end up getting the job at IKEA?? #WeAreDadz
Q4. Do you have other parent friends you can lean on when things get tough? #WeAreDadz *Pls RT*
Amen to that! #WeAreDadz
@LifeofDadShow A4) Usually. Not right now. Looking forward to the day parents can watch each other's kids again and provide a break. #WeAreDads
A4: Through our kids' sports we have manage to build a pretty large village of parents willing to help each other out at a moment's notice. #WeAreDadz
With @Dadz_Inc Lightning Sticks, you can be sure that you won't need to ask a friend to help out because of a lack of energy! More time playing with the kids would make any parent happier! #WeAreDadz
Q5. How important is it to you to teach your kids about giving back to society? What are ways can we do this? #WeAreDadz *Pls RT*
@LifeofDadShow A5. Very important...we take toys, clothes and craft supplies to our local orphanage #wearedadz
@LifeofDadShow A5) Very important. Now more than ever. I have always been active in the community and usually brought my kids with me. Now, my teen son volunteers on his own at a food bank. #WeAreDadz
@LifeofDadShow A5 we lead by example! We’ve participated in walks to end homelessness and volunteer at local shelters #WeAreDadz
This summer we went on a road trip for 30 days! I could have used some LIGHTNING STICKS from @dadz_inc All those kids and dogs (and my wife and I) slept in a 22’ trailer. #wearedadz
@LifeofDadShow A5 I think sometimes we work on big gestures, but sometimes it is the small things that can make a difference. Helping a neighbor, feeding the homeless, etc. There are plenty of opportunities. Our job to seek them out. #WeAreDadz
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