Rohan @RohanAlc
Scrawny, gawky, lazy, bad bio-writer-y. Cheese - never again Danish, never again. Joined March 2010-
Tweets3K
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Followers265
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Following470
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Likes26K
Rohan retweeted
2nd talk Aug'18 #mumtechup : An introduction to Q#, a programming language developed by @MSFTQuantum @Microsoft fod #QuantumComputing Entry 🆓. RSVP 👇 aug18mtp.eventbrite.com/?aff=tw
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Rohan retweeted
1st talk Aug'18 #mumtechup : @ibm_in's Shalaka Verma will be giving an overview of #QuantumComputing Entry 🆓 RSVP 👇 aug18mtp.eventbrite.com/?aff=tw
Hey @CordMcCoy, me and @karanshah26 manage a Jet and Cord fan-page on Facebook, and we recently got this message from another fan. :D
Rohan retweeted
"Where did you go today, buddy?" DOG: I went to the stylist. "Were you a good boy- OMG" DOG:
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[Taco Bell] MANAGER: did u rearrange the breakfast sign to say beak farts ME: Yeah MANAGER (hands over nametag): lol nice ur the manager now
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[in heaven] me: did it hurt girl: did what hurt me: when you fell from...uhhh girl: me: ummm girl: me: when you died
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[deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister
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*inhales helium from balloon* “Your mom and I are getting a divorce..”
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Wife: Did you bring the car to the mechanic? Me: No Wife: How is it getting fixed? Me: I got someone working on it
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"are you high?" [bear grylls melting cheese on a squirrel at 2am] no
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If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die
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me: let's do this guy im about to fight in a bar: is that a shield?
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When somebody asks for directions I just say "follow your heart" and drive away.
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birds can make their homes in tall treetops and soar at great heights and pigeons are like no thank you i will commute by foot to home depot
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Years of gaming have taught me there is something behind this wall.
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[first day as coast guard] Boss: 7 people died on your watch today Me [looking off into the distance]: yes but the coast is fine
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[after losing to wife in scrabble] "you're overreacting" *packing an overnight bag* I just need some time to think
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"This isn't helpful at all" - Alien watching To Catch a Predator
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