UCP Dungeons & Dragons @UCPDnD
#UCPDnD Laugh at the tweets. Cry at the reality that inspired them. Roll a d20 to check your constitution. *Inspired by James D’Amato‘s GOPDnD* Albertaroth Joined September 2018-
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DM: The Orcish Horde has been stealing meat from local butchers. What do you want to do about it? UCP: We form a party to investigate! DM: Who will lead your party? UCP: Orcish Horde leaders. #ableg #UCPDnD
DM: Rumours of the corruption in your party continue to circulate. A special constable has been called to investigate. UCP: Send my rogue to ... take care of the constable ... on his way to town. #ableg #UCPDnD cbc.ca/amp/1.5238926?…
UCP: We cast OPEN FOR BUSINESS. DM: (Rolls dice) Thousands of hardworking townspeople are without work. Now what? UCP: Burn down the schools, libraries, and healing centres. DM: Despair envelops the land. #UCPDnD #ableg @Jeremy_Nolais
UCP: We cast OPEN FOR BUSINESS. DM: (Rolls dice) Thousands of hardworking townspeople are without work. Now what? UCP: Burn down the schools, libraries, and healing centres. DM: Despair envelops the land. #UCPDnD #ableg @Jeremy_Nolais
UCP: We give $2 billion gold pieces to the kingdom’s largest merchants and robber barons. DM: The people are angry. UCP: Tell the people that we are not in favour of enriching merchants and robber barons. DM: (Rolls for charisma check) They are not persuaded. #ableg #UCPDnD
DM: The townsfolk ask you to help them break the oil caravan blockade. UCP: Cast SEPARATION. DM: A series of earthquakes ripple across the land. Thunder rumbles through the air. Then there is silence. The province remains where it. The townsfolk eye you wearily. #UCPDnD #ableg
DM: You arrive at the healing centre. UCP: We cast RED TAPE REDUCTION. (Rolls dice) DM: You roll a 3. Your spell backfires. A new survey is summoned from the ether. It bounds enthusiastically into view... tangled in red tape. #ableg #UCPDnD
DM: The obsequious goblin that you banished from your party wants to help you fight the council of teachers. UCP: Does he have anything of value? DM: A Wand of Freedom that often backfires and drains the user’s intelligence. UCP: Pass. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli #abed
DM: Your loyal acolytes want to know what you intend to do about the Brutish Colambrian blockade of oil caravans. UCP: We cast DISTRACTION on our loyal acolytes. DM: (Rolls for perception check) Your followers are enthralled. UCP: Set sail for India! #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
DM: (Reads Doug’s character sheet.) How are your charisma, wisdom, AND intelligence ability scores this low?! You shouldn’t be out questing! DS: (Rolls to check initiative. Gets a 20.) Let’s go gang! DM: Your party marches off and is never seen again. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
Dungeon Master’s note: To clarify questions you may have about them and their parentage, these children are human but developed some of the queerly wild beauty usually seen only in members of Elven species. They were born this way, but their parents didn’t accept them.
DM: You’ve killed the warlock, but the curse of muteness he cast on the villagers hasn’t been broken. UCP: Cast FREEDOM OF SPEECH on the villagers. DM: They can speak! A group of teachers start to organize a - UCP: Cast SILENCE on the teachers. #ableg #abed #UCPDnD #abpoli
MgS🏳️⚧️�.. @MgS_2011
3K Followers 2K Following Mastodon: @[email protected]; CoSo: @shadowpages This is a read only account now - if you want to see what I'm thinking, it's over on Mastodon.
Timothy Huyer @tim4hire
5K Followers 2K Following Absolutely no content, regardless whether original or retweeted, represents the views of any person or panda. Caveat lector. He/him. Also on bluesky.
Mimi Williams (she/he.. @MimiProbably
9K Followers 6K Following Reader. Writer. Lover. Fighter. Sister. Daughter. Mom. Boss and Emma are my dogs. @[email protected] @MimiProbably.bsky.social
Dr. Sarcasto Ph. D. @anonfmresident
2K Followers 850 Following The most intelligent, most sacractatic, sexiest doctor unable to prescribe drugs on the X-rated cesspool formerly known as Twitter. Mocks idiots and Douchebags
Jonathan Teghtmeyer �.. @atypicalalbertn
7K Followers 3K Following Father, husband, teacher, communicator, cancer survivor (he/his). Views here are mine alone and don’t represent others.
Padraic McCombe 🇨�.. @patmccombe
5K Followers 5K Following Proud Fort McMurray Family Doc • GenX • Runner • Labradoodle Dad • Blocked by @shandro.
Matt Sean Bell @AidaeanSaga
4K Followers 8K Following Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer. Author of Aidaean Saga, a science-fantasy book series about a group of heroes who must band together to stop a great war.
James777 @Jamers777777
69 Followers 118 Following
TheVelarCompany @TheVelarCompany
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CHS D&D Club @chsdndclub
527 Followers 2K Following Help us roll for success! Our school D&D club is on a mission to level up our students' imaginations and critical thinking skills. #Fundraiser 📚🐉@merimrh
Spirit Dragon DM @ReverendTod
257 Followers 382 Following I am a Dungeon Master and a Player, mostly playing D&D. I have been collecting and reading Pathfinder 1e Books.
Products of the Multi.. @EnterprisesTcr
20 Followers 202 Following TCR Enterprises has over 40+ years of experience w/ many types of Fantasy, SciFi & Super Hero RPGs (as PCs & GMs) and is a publisher of guides for the same.
Dropbear and Panda @dropbearNpanda
265 Followers 560 Following Two Canadians who make odd movies, cool commercials, awesome music videos, dope CDs, fine theatre, and killer award-nominated podcasts.
bob rice @bobrice1971
140 Followers 1K Following I have cerebral palsy but I have never let it stop me been working 30 years I go to a baptist church from Illinois I like music country and gospel music
Kerry Bruce AKA SNOWD.. @Snowdohn_Dragon
142 Followers 859 Following Wife/Mom 😍Jared Leto is a GOD/The Last Kingdom/The Witcher/ LOTR & TH/ D&D/Russell Brand is a beautiful, mad GOD
The D&D Dispatch @dnddispatch
127 Followers 449 Following For all things Dungeons & Dragons from the D&D latest news to most contentious takes. #dnd5e #dnddispatch #dungeonsanddragons
Sean Norris @seananorris
13 Followers 229 Following
Erik F @ErikF52949241
114 Followers 681 Following
Fin Weirdo 🇫🇮 @finweirdo
57 Followers 500 Following Follow my journey of quitting my day time job to becoming a Full Time Twitch Streamer. Please read my pinned post to give you my Origin story.
AB PSE War Room @ab_pse
981 Followers 1K Following Parent, professor, lego builder, fighter for public service... tbh I am here because I am pissed!!!... it is a war room of 1 and there is fighting in it.
Digital Tea @digitaltea
1K Followers 3K Following #DigitalTea is a leading design studio in Alberta providing professional multimedia solutions.
Amethyst Deirdre Will.. @LadyAmethyst007
522 Followers 1K Following positivist,fantasy/sci-fi/comic geek,Trekkie, movie,music & book lover custom jewelry designer, Hopeful romantic,LGBTQ+ supporter, reiki healer, promotes ❤✨& ☮️
Buck McGruff @Buck_SMA
153 Followers 742 Following Hunter - Mercenary - Survivalist - Police Officer (Former) - Black Ops Agent (AWAL)
M. Bayrock / М Ба�.. @ARockontheHill
90 Followers 241 Following Geek, Fajah, Herder of felines, Baritone, sometime setter and spiker, and British automotive mechanic, all rolled into one.
Stacey McElroy 🌈�.. @srlevesque
1K Followers 2K Following Proud mother of dragons a.k.a. fierce, feminist politicians. Hater of injustice. Settler living on Treaty 7 land. #ally she/her Proudly deaf
Lila Bowtell @coachlila
420 Followers 2K Following Successful procrastinator. Occasionally quippy. I laugh at my own jokes. I have a soft spot for professional journalists...and dogs. No, I love dogs. Cats ok.
Greg Lemieux @GregLemieux
148 Followers 318 Following We all do better when we all do better -- Paul Wellstone
Kason Jenny @Kason_Jenny
66 Followers 595 Following I'm Kason Jenny and I suplort this gubberment. #climatechange is real, #JasonKenny is a jobs killer, and #wexit is for morons and conmen.
Fietser Doug 🇨🇦 @bicycledoug
1K Followers 2K Following Defender of safer cycling. Purveyor of the Idaho Stop. Fat Bike Aficionado.
Max McLeod @mcl_max
50 Followers 488 Following
Ash 🍅 riot grrrden.. @ashm0r
318 Followers 2K Following A regenerative farmer producing heirloom grain, veggie, & flower seeds. Trying my best to live in reciprocity with nature #SoilFoodWeb #Biodiversity #WomenInAg
ClimatePete on Bluesk.. @Climate_Pete
3K Followers 2K Following Full-time treehugger & #climate campaigner @wildernews. Fighting for a fossil fuel free future #bcpoli #cdnpoli #NoTMX #EndFracking https://t.co/OnNWHA9Syb
stephenwoodcock @stephenwoodcock
121 Followers 271 Following Happy to be working with a wonderful group of people who love what they do!
INGLORIOUS GEEK @1023NOWGEEK
308 Followers 718 Following
Dex Save's Midnight R.. @BrilliantDrFly
591 Followers 2K Following Half man, half fly, 'uncredentialed' scientist. Join the @IWW. Pfp by the very talented @AuxCanons. He/him.
Used to be disgusted�.. @drbknight
1K Followers 4K Following Anti-fascist. Canadian. Plain old anaesthesiologist (POA), recovering administrator. Tweets are my own. Not to be taken as serious medical advice.
Blaine Smithers @BlaineSmithers
233 Followers 1K Following
Drawn To The Left @DrawnLeft
61 Followers 22 Following Political cartoons from a progressive perspective
GrumpyGrannie @grumpy_grannie
12K Followers 13K Following No time for MAGA/ MCGA,! Country before Party. Never will vote for a Reformer! I prefer to honour those that fought/gave their lives, fighting Nazis.
Nancy @VotingABC
3K Followers 4K Following
NotMyCircus @maritimemaggie
2K Followers 3K Following Getting old ain’t for sissies RTs don't necessarily mean I agree.
ward 69 councillor Ty.. @tklongmire
576 Followers 1K Following Maker of animation, film and performance in #yyc. currently in-studio workin' on a new film and various interactive media projects @quickdrawyyc. he/they
Xeryfyn @Xeryfyn
882 Followers 2K Following Disabled & ND. Former Educator, Mom of 4, she/her. Find me on Mastodon here: https://t.co/xUjGKSL2kL
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29 Followers 104 Following
Conrad Guay🌈 @ProbablyConrad
287 Followers 256 Following N. Alberta Centrist. Past President of the Alberta Party. Context is King, and intention means all.
AshtonBG @Abnerbgross
173 Followers 597 Following Riding on a giant ball of molten rock with a bunch of psychotic apes.
Mercedes Allen @Mercedes_Allen
1K Followers 2K Following Intersectional. Canadian, US, UK & global politics; trans, LGBTQ+, human rights, economic, social, racial & reproductive justice. @[email protected]
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15 Followers 103 Following
Jared @manwithaviolin
54 Followers 86 Following Pianist, violinist, vocalist, composer, homebrewer, and foodie from Canada.
Jason Kenney 🇨🇦.. @jkenney
302K Followers 827 FollowingDM: The Progress Pixies opposition against you is growing. UCP: We expose their shadowy allies and secret funding. DM: They cast MIRROR. Suddenly *your* hordes of shadowy alliances and sources of secret funding are revealed. UCP: We attack someone else. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
DM: Granola Gnomes block access to the bridge. UCP: Cast BILLY GOATS GRUFF. DM: Your mage can’t complete the spell because it only works on trolls. UCP: Says who?! Our de facto mage?! DM: No. Your *actual* mage and your actual dungeon master. #ableg #abpoli #UCPDnD
They shut down part of a major international port for an extended period of time. And now BC has announced there’ll be no effort to hold those blockaders accountable. Outrageous. bc.ctvnews.ca/no-charges-for…
UCP: Let’s get the oil caravan moving to Brutish Colambria! DM: You’re not capable of that feat. UCP: Then we criticize the Queen for her failure to do the same thing. DM: You cast BLOVIATE. Stale hot air blows across Albertaroth. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
The NDP is more focussed on attacking me than actually getting TMX built: "The Alberta NDP govt used the Trans Mountain pipeline expansion mess as an opportunity to try and score political points against UCP Leader Jason Kenney." cbc.ca/news/canada/ed… Watch my full response.
DM: The Queen and her agents question your motives. What were you doing over seas? UCP: We dodge. DM: You call on the Deity Whatabouti and pray for assistance with dodging the rhetorical barbs being flung at you. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
Seems the NDP is more interested in attacking me than actually getting a pipeline built. Perhaps they should focus some of their efforts on PM Justin Trudeau, their close friend and ally who continues to attack Alberta while making no pipeline progress. cbc.ca/news/canada/ed…
DM: The young warrior hangs up his sword and shield. UCP: Attack him. DM: He’s unarmed. UCP: He’s dangerous! DM: The warrior, who is adored by the villagers, looks at you with pity and calls you out for your stance against beautiful queerfolk. UCP: Flee. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
Interesting. Connolly was previously listed as running in Calgary-Varsity nomination vs @NDPStephanie assistant @NDPJulia, in the NDP’s only contested nomination. Connolly out, and Hayter no longer list on Elections AB nomination website. cbc.ca/news/canada/ca… #ableg #abpoli
UCP: We attack the eastern wood elves and their pagan practices. DM: They’ve already been defeated. Your ally, the barbarian, now rules in the east. UCP: Okay... We set our forests on fire then. DM: The earth screams. The future of Albertaroth grows dim. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
"The story of the [Ontario Liberals'] crusade to impose, at any cost, full green moralism on Ontarians should serve as a drastic caution to politicians everywhere..." #ableg #UCP nationalpost.com/opinion/rex-mu…
DM: The cleric summons POLITICALLY MOTIVATED FEAR. UCP: We cast POLTICALLY MOTIVATES FEAR too. DM: Everyone’s loyal alcolytes are now afraid. The general townspeople are unaffected. Teachers, parents, and children are unimpressed. #UCPDnd #ableg #abpoli #abed
My response to the politically-motivated fear report from an NDP member of the Edmonton Public School Board (this story: edmontonjournal.com/news/local-new…)
DM: Your party is outflanked. UCP: Hey! They can’t use proxies to fight their battles for them! DM: You do. UCP: But it’s different when we do it! #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli #abed
DM: News arrives that the Queen is increasingly popular. UCP: We rally our loyal alcolytes and invite our ally from the east to bolster us. DM: The Fjord Troll Barbarian who sacked Torontown, burned education texts and cancelled wage increases? UCP: Yup. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
Looking forward to it, Premier @fordnation! Thanks for your leadership in standing up for taxpayers against the job killing carbon tax. Alberta & Ontario need to work together.
DM: A village elder wants to know what you will do to save the children and protect their education. UCP: We will build them a glorious pipeline. DM: (rolls) Your attempt at misdirection is unsuccessful. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli #abed
An Alberta Government truly looking out for Albertans wouldn't have waited 229 days to sound the alarm over Justin Trudeau's C-69.
DM: Your ally the Fjord Troll Barbarian is willing to sell the waters of the eastern lands to a chaos demon. UCP: Who needs water? DM: (rolls) You somehow convince your loyal alcolytes that your ally’s actions in no way prophesize your future deeds. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
Private meetings with the Premier and privatizing water a chilling combination!! Nestle on the hunt for more water in Centre Wellington. What meetings are they having? nowtoronto.com/news/doug-ford…
UCP: Tell the people how thankful we are that Albertaroth is a welcoming place for all. DM: (rolls perception check) Your empty platitudes fall on deaf ears. The people have noticed your party cavorting with Islamophones and white supremacists. UCP: Dang. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
Happy Thanksgiving to all in Alberta and across Canada. We have much to be grateful for in our great province and country.
@Drewbarnesmla @UCPCaucus @UCPDnD there has to be something in here for you ...
UCP: We cast GHOSTS OF THE PAST on the Queen’s minister. DM: He’s slightly embarrassed, but casts HISTORIC DEMONS at your leader. Homophobic phantasms, ethereal staged citizenship ceremonies, and strange spectres of virginity appear. A lake ignites. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli #abed
Read @sunrickbell's column on NDP Education Minister @davideggenAB ('Notley NDP runs away from ghost of its past' tinyurl.com/y7ft8pe9)? WATCH the evidence for yourself. #ableg #abpoli #UCP #cdnpoli #CPC
UCP: We attack! DM: Since your leader is still suffering from the effects of STRANGELY IN INDIA your Lvl 8 Obsequious Factotum charges. Still scarred by his defeat at the hands of Nensh the Purple Burgomaster years ago, he trips and is ignored. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli #yyccc
The guy in charge of educating our kids has his video playing - now - dumping all over our energy industry. Do you trust he will leave politics out of the classroom? No answer given to questions. Bell: Notley NDP runs away from ghost of its past calgarysun.com/opinion/column…
UCP: We use our HIGH LEVEL CONNECTIONS feat to gather resources from across the sea. DM: That requires HIGH LEVEL OF BOATS, which you don’t currently possess. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli
India is the world's largest democracy, has 1.3 billion potential consumers of Alberta goods, and is the fastest growing large economy in the world. Jason Kenney's high-level international connections will serve Alberta well.
UCP: Shred the scrolls! DM: Which ones? The draft scrolls? The historical scrolls? The arcane scrolls? UCP: Cast DISPEL NUANCE! DM: Sorry. Curriculum scrolls are resistant to this spell as they are inherently nuanced. UCP: Flee. #UCPDnD #ableg #abpoli #abed
Garbage like this is exactly why Alberta's curriculum needs to be reviewed--but remember, Kenney wants to throw the review "in the shredder" and keep using this stuff #ableg
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