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FATHERLESS @_FATHERLESS

I cringe every time I see a cucumber at a grocery aisle because I know he doesn't have a dad Joined March 2014
  • Tweets
    919
  • Followers
    105
  • Following
    615
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    959
FATHERLESS retweeted
bridger_w Profile Picture

Bridger Winegar @bridger_w

11 years ago

If I see someone I know at a restaurant, I wave, call my waiter over, and ask to send their table a glass of Sprite

FATHERLESS retweeted
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brent @murrman5

11 years ago

*watches as you squint while looking at my résumé* "they're 5's, the S key on my keyboard is broke"

FATHERLESS retweeted
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Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious

11 years ago

"Sir, have u got a drivers licence" ... "Sir are u a potato?" ... *radios back to base* "Yeah someone just left a potato in a car - over"

FATHERLESS retweeted
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GoaT FacE @EndhooS

11 years ago

Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I have a family.

FATHERLESS retweeted
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demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon

11 years ago

"black people sure do love to riot over nothing" he chortles, counting down the days until he can punch a child at wal-mart for a cheap xbox

FATHERLESS retweeted
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chip malfunction @online_shawn

13 years ago

It is WAY TOO EARLY for Christmas music. -people in the year 75 BC

FATHERLESS retweeted
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mike ginn @shutupmikeginn

11 years ago

Just saw an air freshener so big they had to tie it on top of the car

FATHERLESS retweeted
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Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin

11 years ago

The inventor of the toaster has died today. His body will be lowered into the earth only to spring up seconds later, slightly burned.

FATHERLESS retweeted
Reverend_Scott Profile Picture

Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott

11 years ago

Welcome to the Dad Store. "I'm lookin for socks & sandals." Hi lookin for socks & sandals, I'm dad "Oh I like this store."

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