automom @automom2

Multiple autoimmune disorders 🌱 Anxiety & depression 🌱 YouTube mamma 🌱 Environmentalist ✌🏻 Scotland, United Kingdom Joined November 2018

Tweets

22
Followers

24
Following

110
Likes

440

Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78

7 years ago

10: you never let me have any fun Me: oh you mean cause I asked you to stop sucking on your toe during dinner? 10: yeah Me: or cause I asked you to stop dragging your bare butt on the rug? 10: Me: or cause I got mad at you for pooping on 2’s potty seat? 10: ugh never mind

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Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78

7 years ago

My sister, who has no kids, complained that she was supposed to wake up early to get stuff done but daylight savings messed her up and she accidentally slept in till 11am and I’m not gonna bore you with the details but can someone bring me bail money?

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Unexpected SAHM @UnexpectedSAHM

7 years ago

Does anyone speak fluent toddler? Kiddo’s vocabulary has increased exponentially this past month and I don’t understand half of what he is saying.

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automom @automom2

7 years ago

Did any of you lovely ladies have Nexplanon or Implanon? Some sources I’m reading say 90% of women TTC were pregnant within 3 months of removal, others say that its common for it to take 2 years of more to get a regular cycle again... any insight would be helpful 💖

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Daddy’s Digest @daddysdigest

7 years ago

Wife: She’s wearing her princess dress. Pretend you’re her servant. Me: Pretend?

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Not Another Pinterest Mom @xennial_mom

7 years ago

Him: at least baby sleeps through the night now Me: really, this again? H: ? M: ... Him: it's still just me that sleeps through the night, isn't it? M: we have a winner!

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FeralTherapist (she/her) 🏳️‍🌈♣️🍍🐎🍄 @IMomalogues

7 years ago

Hard as it might be to believe, even if she doesn't have a significant other, she 👏 doesn't 👏 want 👏 to 👏 see 👏your 👏 penis 👏 Women shouldn't have to hold up their significant others like shields against unwanted advances.

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Mom & Things @MomAndThings

7 years ago

This is my husband. My husband thought it would be a good idea to stay out drinking with his friends all night. Lucky for my husband he has two daughters to show him the error of his ways.

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Emily Chibwana @emilychibwana

7 years ago

*Husband is away for the weekend, so we’ve had a break from dad jokes 5: I’m thirsty Me: pour yourself some milk 5: I miss saying “I’m thirsty” to Daddy Me: I thought you hated it when he says “nice to meet you Thirsty, I’m Daddy”? 5: I only hated it when it was unexpected

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InsoMOMniac @insoMOMniac

7 years ago

Pregnant Friend: I’m so excited to be a mom. The weird stuff won’t bother me. Me: [Licks friend on her face.] Friend: WHAT THE HELL? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? DISGUSTING! Me: You should rethink your position on the “weird stuff.”