Formal Work Pajamas @formalworkpjs
https://t.co/V9GcJXehV3 Joined April 2020-
Tweets8K
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Followers1K
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Following732
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Likes8K
The fact that Gwyneth Paltrow got sued and it wasn't for that shady shit she sells is mind boggling to me. ~ my 25 y.o. son
We do not call enough people whippersnappers anymore.
Every night as long as we all shall live we need to cast a very powerful curse upon every single person involved in kidnapping and killing and eating that little girl's goat. They should never know another moment's peace.
If you're asking if people still have a sense of humor, you're not funny.
I only go to Walmart if I need the good lube.
Lost in the words that bring my imagination to life, Playing scenes full of mystery and delight, There are no regrets if they keep me up all night
You deserve someone who stays obsessed with you, not just in the beginning.
If you ever see me “lighting up a room” just know I’m hoping to get murdered.
‘Foul language, sexual content.’ What I hope to find every day.
The people who don’t want to give kids free lunches, have never tried to teach a hungry child.
them: i like you me: that is a red flag
I have passion in my life, you should see how I behave around sweet potato fries.
I think the Shrek franchise is underrated. I said what I said.
keep ignoring me, it's your funeral - me to every open casket
there's a beautiful kind of loneliness in the pirouette of snowflakes that dance upon the wind
Men, if you are bald it's because you are buying the "annual" hair seeds and not the "perennials"
As a child of the 70s, I sometimes feel guilty for not liking Supertramp all that much.
I will karate kick you so soft you’ll start loving me

SneezingWithWetMascar... @WetMascara
18K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
Maddy 🌨️ @MadHatterMommy
26K Followers 4K Following give your smile and let that be enough https://t.co/IdtiajTUxF
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
32K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
tazz @noneofyours99
79K Followers 43K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥
ρꪮꪮ𝓳ꪖ 🌸 @YourSomeone11
52K Followers 2K Following I lost my identity, I found myself. 📸 Mine https://t.co/djB5pKALgp
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
11K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
meghan @deloisivete
22K Followers 3K Following surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
The B. @anerdonfire2
40K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Lori @Cornjerker78
9K Followers 3K Following
The Curious Optimist @VitaeArcanum
42K Followers 2K Following A pocket full of dreams and a mind full of mischief. Blissfully dissatisfied. https://t.co/ClBlIxwIfr
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
A Dad Influence @gbergan
7K Followers 2K Following What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? Posts in the link below ⬇️
爪ㄒ爪 @TheSoulShadow
29K Followers 18K Following 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇱🇧 46. Dad. Veteran. /G\ . Capricorn. PTSD. Depression. Espresso. Cigars. Scotch. Poetry. Demons Curator. “ I guard the gates where my shadows kneel ”
name cannot be blank @toomanycommas3
28K Followers 7K Following just here to migrate old tweets to the good place fuck you if you voted for elon ✌️
Chauhan Karansinh @ChauhanKar59281
6 Followers 71 Following
Shit I tell my toddle... @Toddler_talkin
2K Followers 898 Following A succinct collection of ridiculous things I never thought I’d have to say to my 4 girlies 5 and under. 👧👧👧👶
Jared Mundell @JaredMunde11602
41 Followers 338 Following
LjPix @LJPIX
679 Followers 943 Following From Orangeburg South Carolina, LjPix is an American Rapper, Producer, DJ, and Song Writer. He's Known for the Hit single Flagrant Ft Parlae
KENNY MULLER😈 @KENNYMULLER121
60 Followers 278 Following
Πήτερ Βαρελ... @Peter_Varelas
250 Followers 2K Following
Solianca Invicta @InvictaSolianca
1K Followers 2K Following Pipers do it with amazing grace 🏴 YES is not short for Yellow Snow! I detest the High Elves and everything they stand for. SNP Falkreath Branch 🛡
Priest of ATEN 🟡�... @MarkYar97609908
787 Followers 2K Following I Am That👉🟡 I Am Living Prophet of ATEN 🟡🙏💓🧠👁️🌄🌎🤗🏆
gg @alhashmy_thnwn
4 Followers 385 Following
Mya Khan @mamakhan92
1K Followers 2K Following 🎀Girl mom 💍Jared 🏃🏻♀️1 mile a day 🩺nurse life 🍑Georgia life 🫶🏻
People’s Choice Con... @peoplescontest
574 Followers 539 Following New contest every Wednesday! 12pm to 8pm Eastern. Funny tweets. Winner decided by popular vote.
Beard Al Yankmydick @Beardium
1K Followers 836 Following Full time beard owner. Check out my youtube https://t.co/5B8QxYr7mA Check out my online store: https://t.co/rSlRvM27cg
JustBeachy🌊 @Patty_cakez_
1K Followers 418 Following No longer musing at the desert and enjoying the beach instead. New life, new account.
The Anxious Cat 𓃠 @iPhonePhobic
2K Followers 5K Following A broken brain, a box full of badge pins, and a PS4 .. Let me have a smoke and come back to you on this.
Jason S. Porter @2samuel12
2K Followers 4K Following Great Man of GOD who loves to face whatever Life has in store for me.
The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
35K Followers 8K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9x
NattyShitShow @NattyShitShow
434 Followers 2K Following I take my coffee just like my soul- dark with nothing in it ☕️😈
Sugarbae Television @SugarbaeTv
498 Followers 4K Following social media content creator https://t.co/vXGB2Y2xno
Not LIke Monopoly - I... @NotLikeMonopoly
4K Followers 2K Following #BoardGames and #TTRPG's. Newbie-friendly one-off genre- and system-spanning sessions and a hot meal. #DnD on demand. Fresh, tasty content every day.
Elliana @ChickenNugLover
1K Followers 3K Following Professional Coffee Advocate. Gamer. Dog Mom. Stay Salty!
Michelle 🖤🤍 @MichMash88
173 Followers 948 Following
Michael Feltman @Stjosephf69
57 Followers 756 Following it's complicated. Just wanna have adult fun girls only 18+XXX
Rodney Faughn @faughn_rodney
1K Followers 4K Following
Shaun Bajgar @SBajgar
301 Followers 1K Following 55years live in Frankston Melbourne Australia 🌏 🦘 single note be married i Walk no car 🚗 that's My hobby 7/days a week X X
Dann Coon @dann_coon
159 Followers 556 Following
Kathleen Fink @KathleenFink13
1K Followers 4K Following Progressive elementary school teacher, mom, grandmother.
3 Bat Ghosts 👻 @BatHawkDown
1K Followers 957 Following 🇦🇺Gibberish. Batman. Metal. Mohawks. The Adelaide Crows 🇷🇴
Abul Osman @htp_abul_osman
885 Followers 1K Following Humanist, Researcher, Writer, Poet, Interpreter & Dreamer Please don't DM me unless you are a Publisher!
Billy norris @creedracing724
27 Followers 1K Following
Doc 'AFK' Holliday @jimmytheteeth
4K Followers 4K Following Status: I need to write my own stand-up routine. Avid Thor worshipper. I'm such a nerd. Kids are beating me up for my lunch money at 50 years old.
Chincha @chincha33
13K Followers 5K Following I think I've finally gotten rid of my need for another *if I had a hammer* tweet (This is all lies!)
Andreas Marinello @Helsing79
235 Followers 1K Following Kind of an IT Nerd | Football enthusiast | on the positive side of life
🍁🇨🇦 Shawn �... @TheHumbleCanuck
4K Followers 3K Following Just trying to enjoy myself, one tweet at a time #LetsGoOilers
SneezingWithWetMascar... @WetMascara
18K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
Maddy 🌨️ @MadHatterMommy
26K Followers 4K Following give your smile and let that be enough https://t.co/IdtiajTUxF
The Nostalgic @TheNostalgicCo
48K Followers 6K Following Content creator, audiobook narrator, the best good-bad dancer on X, field frolicker, and professional grass touching expert.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
32K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
tazz @noneofyours99
79K Followers 43K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥
ρꪮꪮ𝓳ꪖ 🌸 @YourSomeone11
52K Followers 2K Following I lost my identity, I found myself. 📸 Mine https://t.co/djB5pKALgp
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
11K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
meghan @deloisivete
22K Followers 3K Following surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
The B. @anerdonfire2
40K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Lori @Cornjerker78
9K Followers 3K Following
The Curious Optimist @VitaeArcanum
42K Followers 2K Following A pocket full of dreams and a mind full of mischief. Blissfully dissatisfied. https://t.co/ClBlIxwIfr
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
A Dad Influence @gbergan
7K Followers 2K Following What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? Posts in the link below ⬇️
The Anxious Cat 𓃠 @iPhonePhobic
2K Followers 5K Following A broken brain, a box full of badge pins, and a PS4 .. Let me have a smoke and come back to you on this.
Solianca Invicta @InvictaSolianca
1K Followers 2K Following Pipers do it with amazing grace 🏴 YES is not short for Yellow Snow! I detest the High Elves and everything they stand for. SNP Falkreath Branch 🛡
Beard Al Yankmydick @Beardium
1K Followers 836 Following Full time beard owner. Check out my youtube https://t.co/5B8QxYr7mA Check out my online store: https://t.co/rSlRvM27cg
JustBeachy🌊 @Patty_cakez_
1K Followers 418 Following No longer musing at the desert and enjoying the beach instead. New life, new account.
People’s Choice Con... @peoplescontest
574 Followers 539 Following New contest every Wednesday! 12pm to 8pm Eastern. Funny tweets. Winner decided by popular vote.
Doc 'AFK' Holliday @jimmytheteeth
4K Followers 4K Following Status: I need to write my own stand-up routine. Avid Thor worshipper. I'm such a nerd. Kids are beating me up for my lunch money at 50 years old.
Chincha @chincha33
13K Followers 5K Following I think I've finally gotten rid of my need for another *if I had a hammer* tweet (This is all lies!)
Shattered Table Taco @bgschnikelfritz
6K Followers 1K Following What’s the scuttlebutt? Do not DM me unless you give me your grandmother’s secret recipe https://t.co/zNTsQB3kTp
Big Minge Energy 🇨... @CrownsAndThings
14K Followers 7K Following Hi, I’m human and it hurts. She/her. A-romantic. Atheist. #AbortionRightsAreHumanRights
🍁🇨🇦 Shawn �... @TheHumbleCanuck
4K Followers 3K Following Just trying to enjoy myself, one tweet at a time #LetsGoOilers
dangerfloof @BrightsidesWife
4K Followers 4K Following life is love, joy, chaos, peace, humour and pain. artist. advocate for mental health, cptsd and autism 💙
Ian Ford @ij_ford
13K Followers 4K Following Joint night editor @guardian. The Guardian wishes it had my views
Caroline Hurry @HyggeQueen1
8K Followers 4K Following Sovereign Author. Explorer. Writer, editor, and creative frequency dancer. @hyggequeen2 https://t.co/LXNdCgP6vF #writingcommunity #twitterwrite #selfpublishing
SalmonDurres @srl715
2K Followers 3K Following I walk my own path as a traveler, truthseeker, progressive Democrat, organizer, musician, foodie, lover of spirits, revelry and women, Taoist, atheist with ADHD
Cynthia Sierra @azdesertr0se
18K Followers 20K Following Writer and lover of life, with a poetic and, hopefully, inspirational soul. My words can be found at: https://t.co/cZewp3rJIw I believe!
Modern_MomProbs @Modern_MomProbs
1K Followers 599 Following Hey! I'm Tara Clark Author•Podcaster• Content Creator• Mom• Tackling modern motherhood one problem at a time
Zombie Bandit @bandit_zombie
527 Followers 490 Following I'm gonna ride this train until the wheels fall off. Social justice is good, actually. Pronouns are just words, they're not scary. Don't be a prick.
thehonestmomATX @thehonestmomATX
382 Followers 355 Following ✨Parenthood ✨Humor ✨Honesty✨Mom of 2 littles✨
Mom Rants @MomRants4
666 Followers 496 Following A safe haven for moms to rant and share wins, troubles--and anything really; WAHM to 2 year old son 👶🏽
Daddy⤏In⤏Motion @daddyinmotion
790 Followers 834 Following Life’s a comedy but when you’re a dad it’s a dark one. Absurd is the new normal. Not featured on @huffpost @buzzfeed @boredpanda
Rebel Soul @ThisRebelSoul
14K Followers 5K Following I’m a little bit of everything. https://t.co/DtyfWOzmt1
He-man “Author” �... @Himanp2008
1K Followers 1K Following A kiss a day, and I have more smiles to give. If you love 💕 to read, check out @Firstlovebook01 LOOKING For Friends and maybe more… Love to comment.💋🌹
Patrick Gagnon @patgagnon_75
20K Followers 8K Following Retired from the Canadian Armed Forces. Lead by example. https://t.co/t7GXsI3aHs https://t.co/wuFx6P6Si5 https://t.co/Dq15PG5jcX PAT332
Joani Sparkles 🟧 �... @JoaniSparkles
10K Followers 12K Following AIS ACS I'm effin terrified. Boston sports FANactic! Muggle/Witch. Retweets don't = likes. #Resist #MeToo #ANTIFA NO DM'S! That's all folks!
CK🧀🎂 @LoveMyScionFRS
6K Followers 6K Following Black velveteen's cat smells like strawberry kittens. Only on Twitter for the cheesecake recipes. #HereWeGo #LAFC #LetsGoDodgers
The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
35K Followers 8K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9x
You Used To Know Me @WhoDisTweet
272 Followers 267 Following Can’t tell you what I really think; you wouldn’t like me then! Life’s hard, glad I have great friends. #Autism
Jenny Doesnt Know @HighlyIngenious
4K Followers 3K Following Books, snacks, horror movies, dark humor, cheese, & insanity covered cat by fur. Navy Veteran. She/her #BlackLivesMatter #Pride
Who’sThatGirl☀️ @1good_girl
5K Followers 4K Following ✞ 🅼ama|🍎|MAEd| AutismAdv|ArmyMom| USAFDaughter| 🅿atriot🦅🇺🇸|Love|Laugh|PNW|MAGA|America1st| 2A|UNcensored|VoterID|*OpinionsMineOnly
Siren 💫 @CallSignSiren
110K Followers 5K Following Southern girl with eyes on the stars in the southern sky.
Arena Contest @Arena_Contest
671 Followers 670 Following Everyone's 13th favorite tweet contest account. Ran by this bitch, @Shinikage221 September Sign-ups open
Housewife of Hell @HousewifeOfHell
27K Followers 12K Following Worst housewife ever. Mom to mortified teenage twins. Living a life of minivan magic.